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wolfanficsTitle: I See You From a Distance
Author: sashataakheru
Fandom: No Doubt RPS
Starring: Tom Dumont, Tony Kanal, Gwen Stefani, Adrian Young
Pairing: Tom/Tony
Parts: one | two
Warnings: ...injured!Tony? D:
Disclaimer: Not true in any way, shape or form
Author's Notes: Three of four parts. Tom's POV
Summary: Tom discovers Tony and tries to rouse him.
I See You From a Distance
You wake, screaming, afraid, hoping against hope it’s not true. There he is, your love, lying on the ground, dying, tortured, afraid. A voice tells you to run to him, run to him before he’s lost to you, so you run to him, not noticing anything until you step inside his flat and then it hits you.
Suddenly, everything you’ve been trying to ignore becomes reality. You hear that voice urging you on, you’ve barely taken in his flat, when you find him mirrored from your nightmares, panic freezing your heart.
You call for help, distraught, his injuries almost unreal. How can this be happening? How can this have happened? How could he have hidden all this from you? How could you have ignored him for so long?
They usher you out, sit you in the back with him. You hold his frozen hand, gaze off into space. Nothing makes sense. You can’t seem to function. They take him away from you, trying to make him live. Your mind can’t think straight. Somehow you manage to call your friends, somehow you manage to tell them what happened. Somehow, you manage to call his parents, your voice freezing as you struggle to tell them what happened to him.
You stay by his side, your heart torn with guilt, wondering why he couldn’t have confided in you. You have always watched from the shadows, unable to do anything, helpless, frozen, your bones paralysed. You watched him suffer, unable to ease his pain.
You knew he was hurting, you knew he was killing himself. You’d known since he first told you, when he ran to you, soaking wet, terrified, distraught, after he’d finally broken up with her. You held him that night as he shivered in your arms, looking for peace, looking for solace, looking for a reason why.
You didn’t believe what he’d told you, but you’d known him long enough to know he wasn’t lying. You could see the fear and confusion in his eyes. He’d been through hell that night and he ran to you looking for protection and peace.
He wanted to trust you, wanted to give in completely to you, yet he pushed you away. You were forced to watch him waste away, madness devouring his soul, scared as hell that the next time he seizured on you, you’d be left holding his freezing corpse as he slipped away from you.
But, you couldn’t tell him. You couldn’t tell him how much it hurt you to see him hurting himself, how your heart ached like hell to see him falling into himself, losing himself. You could never tell him how you really felt about him. You knew he’d hate you, and you didn’t want to push him away. You didn’t tell him even though you knew it would save him.
You see him lying there, yet you can’t tell him how much you love him, how he means more to you than air, more to you than living. You can’t remember ever loving anyone as much as you love him. But, you know he’d never believe you, scream at you, hate you, and reject you if he ever found out. You hide your love deep inside your heart, where it slowly burrows itself, hollowing out your already hollow heart.
He will never know how much you care for him, how much you do for him.
He doesn’t deserve to know.
Author: sashataakheru
Fandom: No Doubt RPS
Starring: Tom Dumont, Tony Kanal, Gwen Stefani, Adrian Young
Pairing: Tom/Tony
Parts: one | two
Warnings: ...injured!Tony? D:
Disclaimer: Not true in any way, shape or form
Author's Notes: Three of four parts. Tom's POV
Summary: Tom discovers Tony and tries to rouse him.
I See You From a Distance
You wake, screaming, afraid, hoping against hope it’s not true. There he is, your love, lying on the ground, dying, tortured, afraid. A voice tells you to run to him, run to him before he’s lost to you, so you run to him, not noticing anything until you step inside his flat and then it hits you.
Suddenly, everything you’ve been trying to ignore becomes reality. You hear that voice urging you on, you’ve barely taken in his flat, when you find him mirrored from your nightmares, panic freezing your heart.
You call for help, distraught, his injuries almost unreal. How can this be happening? How can this have happened? How could he have hidden all this from you? How could you have ignored him for so long?
They usher you out, sit you in the back with him. You hold his frozen hand, gaze off into space. Nothing makes sense. You can’t seem to function. They take him away from you, trying to make him live. Your mind can’t think straight. Somehow you manage to call your friends, somehow you manage to tell them what happened. Somehow, you manage to call his parents, your voice freezing as you struggle to tell them what happened to him.
You stay by his side, your heart torn with guilt, wondering why he couldn’t have confided in you. You have always watched from the shadows, unable to do anything, helpless, frozen, your bones paralysed. You watched him suffer, unable to ease his pain.
You knew he was hurting, you knew he was killing himself. You’d known since he first told you, when he ran to you, soaking wet, terrified, distraught, after he’d finally broken up with her. You held him that night as he shivered in your arms, looking for peace, looking for solace, looking for a reason why.
You didn’t believe what he’d told you, but you’d known him long enough to know he wasn’t lying. You could see the fear and confusion in his eyes. He’d been through hell that night and he ran to you looking for protection and peace.
He wanted to trust you, wanted to give in completely to you, yet he pushed you away. You were forced to watch him waste away, madness devouring his soul, scared as hell that the next time he seizured on you, you’d be left holding his freezing corpse as he slipped away from you.
But, you couldn’t tell him. You couldn’t tell him how much it hurt you to see him hurting himself, how your heart ached like hell to see him falling into himself, losing himself. You could never tell him how you really felt about him. You knew he’d hate you, and you didn’t want to push him away. You didn’t tell him even though you knew it would save him.
You see him lying there, yet you can’t tell him how much you love him, how he means more to you than air, more to you than living. You can’t remember ever loving anyone as much as you love him. But, you know he’d never believe you, scream at you, hate you, and reject you if he ever found out. You hide your love deep inside your heart, where it slowly burrows itself, hollowing out your already hollow heart.
He will never know how much you care for him, how much you do for him.
He doesn’t deserve to know.
