Adam Hills/Hamish Blake: Bound To You
Jun. 11th, 2006 02:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolfanficsTitle: Bound To You
Author: Sashataakheru
Fandom: AUSComedy/RPS
Characters: Adam Hills/Hamish Blake
Prompt: #29 Submissive
Word Count: 2,808
Warnings: Bondage/D/s themes.
Rating: NC-17 to be safe, even if it's not all that graphic.
Disclaimer: I don’t know them, not associated with them, just a slashy fangirl admirer with a very active imagination. Complete fiction.
Table: http://wolfanfics.livejournal.com/10809.html
Progress: 1/50
Author's Notes/Summary: This is an exploration of the D/s aspects of Adam and Hamish’s relationship. Perhaps it’s the age difference that gets me (it's about ten years), but I think there’s a weird, very subtle D/s thing going on here. I did consider this fitting the restraints prompt, but this is more about submission than being restrained, so it’s submissive. I’ll deal with restraints later, I think.
Bound To You
Opening the door, at first everything seemed as it should be. Then I spotted Hamish kneeling on the floor by the door. I mean, sure, he’s prone to being a tad unpredictable, but this was just confusing.
“Something wrong, Hamish?” I said.
“Hi, Adam,” Hamish said, not looking up at me.
“Don’t go silent on me, Hamish,” I said, kneeling in front of him and grabbing his hands. Only now did I notice the collar. “Why have you got a collar, Hamish? Something you want to tell me?” I said.
Hamish took a deep breath, apparently struggling to find the right words. “I… I want to give myself to you completely,” he said finally.
“What on earth do you mean by that?” I said, not quite understanding his request.
“I-I want domination, Adam. Look after me, Adam. Please,” Hamish said, his voice struggling to remain calm.
“You want what, exactly? Tell me what you want me to do,” I said.
“I want…” Hamish’s voice fell silent. He growled in frustration, unable to articulate what he wanted, his fists hitting against the carpet hard.
I gently placed a hand on his thigh, lifting his head up to meet my eyes. “Why is this so hard, Hamish? You know you can tell me anything, right?” I said.
Hamish still hesitated, taking a deep breath before finally speaking. “I want domination. I want to be submissive. There, I said it. Do you get what I mean by that at all?” he said, searching my eyes.
“Do you mean what I think you mean? Is this why you have the collar?” I said, vague visions of leather, whips and all sorts of violence entering my head. He doesn’t really want that, does he?
“Yeah. I want to submit to you completely, but I know that might be more than you can accept. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m being stupid. Just forget what I said,” Hamish said.
“I can’t just forget this. How long have you wanted this?” I said.
“I-I’m not sure I know exactly. It just feels right. I trust you more than I trust anyone else, enough to let you take complete control of me. You don’t think I’m crazy, do you?” Hamish said.
“You’d give me that sort of power over you? I don’t know if I could do that. I don’t think I could ever hurt you, even if you wanted me to,” I said. I may not have shown it, but my heart was pounding in my chest. I wasn’t sure I could do what he wanted me to do. It was never something I’d ever considered seriously.
“I never said I wanted you to hurt me. That… sort of domination… is more than I could cope with. I don’t deal with pain well. I’m not exactly sure how to describe what I want. Sorry for being so vague about this,” Hamish said.
“How can I help you if you don’t tell me what you want? Just try to explain it, Hamish. You know I’m not judging you because of this, right?” I said.
“Not many people I know would be so accepting of this. I’ve never told anyone. I was always afraid they’d think I was weak. I don’t think I’m weak. I think it takes a lot of strength to give in to someone like this. I-I don’t know exactly what I want, but I’d do whatever you wanted me to do. I’d like it if you’d tie me up sometimes. And could we… could you blindfold me? I think it’d be amazing to experience sex like that,” Hamish said, his voice still showing signs of his hesitation.
I paused for a moment to take in his words. At least he wasn’t asking me to hurt him. “And the collar?” I said, touching a finger to the black leather collar, curious at the small spikes covering it and the O-ring attached to the front.
“It’s a sign of my submission. I could only wear it around the house if you like. Are you still ok with this? I wasn’t sure how you’d take it,” Hamish said, lowering his head.
“Well, I can’t say it doesn’t bother me, I’m not sure this is something I can just do, but I don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on something you want. Would you show me what you want me to do? Help me understand this, Hamish,” I said. I didn’t expect him to agree, but, fuck it, this needed to be dealt with, and maybe it might be a little fun, too.
Hamish looked up at me. “Are you sure?” he said.
“Yeah. Show me,” I said without realising how determined my answer was.
Hamish stood, pulling me to my feet with him. “Then you’d better wear this. It doesn’t feel so tight once you get used to it,” he said, securing the collar around my neck, making sure it wasn’t choking me. It felt weird, having that collar around my neck. It didn’t feel suffocating; it was more like there was a heaviness around my neck that hadn’t been there before. “Come on then,” he said, taking my hand in his and leading me into the bedroom.
Leaving me sitting on the bed, Hamish pulled a bag out of the wardrobe, rummaging around in it before pulling out some rope. I touched the collar again, intrigued at the spikes and the smoothness of the leather. It was beginning to feel rather comfortable around my neck, as if it should be there. I saw Hamish looking back at me. He threw the rope on the bed and rummaged around in the bag again. I noticed him pulling out what looked like a silk scarf. I wondered where he’d gotten these things from.
“Do you trust me, Adam? I won’t hurt you, I promise,” Hamish said, sitting down beside me.
“I trust you. Doesn’t make me any less nervous though,” I said. “What are you going to do with that rope?”
“I was going to tie your hands together, behind your back maybe. I was going to blindfold you, tie you up a bit, and show you what it feels like to feel everything, to just let go and let someone else look after you, while not being able to see anything. I won’t hit you or whip you or anything, alright? Just touch you. Fuck you. Get you so fucking aroused you’ll be begging me to let you cum,” Hamish said.
I must admit I shivered in apprehension. It did sound tempting. The small part of my brain that was slightly curious about this made the final decision. “Do it. I want to know what this is like,” I said.
Before I knew it, the scarf was tied around my head. My world was plunged into darkness. I was glad it was silk and not something else, because it was very soft. I’d seen those tight leather hoods, and could only imagine how horrible it’d be to wear one of those. This scarf was quite pleasant.
I just sat where I was on the bed, unsure where Hamish was. He wasn’t speaking at all. I felt him messing around with my jeans. I was naked before I could protest, pushed back onto the bed, wondering what on earth he’d do to me. The cold air just added to the excitement. I hadn’t expected to like this anticipation so much. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but just thinking about what he might do, what he might use, was driving me crazy. I just wanted him to get started now.
I had this feeling I was alone in the room, Hamish must’ve left to get something. The intense cold suddenly shooting into me shocked me. I could feel my nipples growing numb. As soon as the cold had appeared, it vanished, replaced by wet heat. He was kissing me, I think.
Then I felt the rope against my skin, cold fingers grabbing my wrists tightly. My initial reaction was to fight him, but then I remembered why we were doing this and quickly lay still. I ordered myself to just give in, to let him do what he wanted. He began to wrap the rope around my wrists, binding them tightly together. OK, so he didn’t tie the rope so tight it cut off circulation, but I couldn’t wriggle free at any rate. He must’ve been practising his knots. I think he threaded the rope through the ring on the collar, as I found my bound hands unable to move far from my chest. I was aware that he was wrapping the rope around my chest, working down towards my stomach. I had no idea what it looked like, but I felt the rope tight around my arms, my chest, my ribs, and then down towards my thighs. He was so slow with it, wrapping it tight enough that I couldn’t escape, but not so tight that I felt I was going to suffocate. I really wished I could’ve seen the way he tied me up, rope covering my arms, chest, down to my thighs, even going so far as to keep my legs apart. I‘d never thought being so bound and vulnerable could feel so arousing.
All I could do was lie there, imagining what was being done to me. I wasn’t sure if he was using feathers, fingers, scarves, rope, it all began to feel the same after a while. But, there was so much sensation I felt my head was going to explode. Constant sensation, never ending, always something there keeping my attention on him. I had no idea what he was doing to me, just that it was turning me on, making me want him so fucking badly, and all the while, he never spoke a word. Complete silence. I didn’t know where he was, or what he was touching me with, all I was aware of was darkness and silence. My begging was never fulfilled. He seemed to be ignoring anything I said. I quickly stopped asking, knowing he wouldn’t give in to me.
And just when I thought I was about to lose any remaining control I had, I felt him sliding something onto my hard cock, vaguely aware of what I assumed was lube coated on afterwards. And then he slid down on me, so fucking slowly, hands caressing my thighs, scratching my skin ever so softly, and I wanted to scream. I would’ve screamed had he not covered my mouth with his hand, whispering the only words he’d speak the entire time, “Scream and I’ll stop, love.”
Shivering, I had to suppress my voice, forced to content myself with just lying there as he moved on me, slowly at first, obviously making me wait. I didn’t think it was possible to be any harder than I was now, but I could’ve sworn I got harder, feeling his feet brushing against my legs, his hands pressing against my chest, like I needed to be restrained further. But, it became so easy to just give in, to just let him have his way, to just lie back and experience everything without having to worry abut what I should or shouldn’t be doing. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so relaxed.
And when he finally sped up, when he finally drove us both over the edge, God, I let myself scream. The pleasure in my body was astounding. He finally stopped moving and slid off me. I felt him lying beside me, gently stroking my arm. The rope made breathing feel a bit more restrained than I was used to, but, fuck it, it was worth it. Slowly, I got my breath back; Hamish’s own ragged breathing was loud in my ear.
“Did you enjoy that, love?” Hamish said softly.
“Fuck, that’s amazing. I’m not sure I want to let you have your way here and be the one tied up all the time,” I said, teasing him.
“Aww, don’t be like that. Don’t deny me now,” Hamish said.
“Didn’t you say you’d do anything I wanted you to do?” I said.
“Yeah, but-”
“Then consider it my first order. You’re not getting tied up unless I want you to be tied up. Though don’t take that to mean you’ll never be tied up, just not as often as I’ll make you tie me up. I think I enjoyed that far too much,” I said, half-serious, trying not to sound too overbearing. I didn’t like the idea of ordering him around like a nameless slave. He’s too special for that treatment.
“Fuck you, Adam,” he said.
I just laughed. “Hey, you fucking asked for this. Don’t you want it now?” I said.
I heard him sigh, knowing he was about to give in. “I do, I just wanted to be the one all tied up and submissive, not you,” he said.
“Who said anything about me being all submissive? I asked you to do this to me, and you agreed, that makes you the submissive one,” I said.
“Fine! Be a fucking bitch then. I’ll just leave you all tied up there then,” he said, now beginning to sound exasperated.
“No you fucking won’t. Untie me you bitch,” I said.
I could hear his frustrated breathing. I supposed he was thinking about arguing further, but I’d given him an order, so I knew it wouldn’t be long before he complied. At least, I hoped so. I didn’t want to spend the rest of the night tied up like this, but I wouldn’t put it past him to run off and leave me alone, bound and unable to move.
Sure enough, he removed the blindfold and began untying me. Soon enough, I was free, looking at the slightly red marks and the depressions on my skin where the rope had been. I sat on the edge of the bed, examining the marks with a strange fascination. I swear I could still feel the rope tight around me even though it wasn’t there any more. It was an interesting feeling. I saw him come and kneel at my feet, looking up at me. I looked at him, wondering why he suddenly looked so serious.
“Something the matter?” I asked.
“Would you… Would you let me be submissive to you? I-I just want to know for certain. Just… don’t be cruel. I don’t want you to be cruel, not that I think you are, I just – don’t think I could cope with that. That hardcore bondage shit isn’t for me. I need a guiding hand, not a cruel one. Please, Adam? Would you do that for me?” Hamish said, looking up at me. God, he looked so desperate, so serious, so in need of my reassurance. He need not have feared I’d be cruel. It’s not in my nature to be cruel to anyone.
“Of course, I’d do that for you. And you don’t have to be afraid of me being cruel to you. I could never hurt you. That goes against everything I believe in. I’ll look after you, keep you safe. Don’t you worry about a thing,” I said, smiling at him.
He smiled back at me, suddenly wrapping his arms around me, pushing me back against the bed as he held me tightly. I could sense how happy he was. It was the child in him coming out. I really did love that side of him. Sometimes, it’s just what you need to lift you out of a bad mood, or to break tension. I held him back, glad to have him in my arms.
“Thank you, Adam. You’re the only person I’ll ever trust so completely. God, I love you so much,” Hamish said.
“I love you too. Thank you for sharing this with me,” I said.
“Thank you for letting me,” he said.
I smiled. Nothing more was said. We’d come to an understanding, even if it wasn’t obvious to anyone else. A part of me was happy he’d finally come out and told me about this, because I’d always wondered why he seemed so willing to let me take over. I figured it was just a quirk of his. That it was really his desire for submission made more sense.
But, still, I wasn’t satisfied. I’d more than willingly let him do that to me, and fuck, I had enjoyed that. I came to realise I did want him to tie me up like that more often. Being at his mercy, unable to know what he was doing, was such a release from having to look after him the rest of the time. I began to wonder who the real submissive is, something I think I’ll be wondering about for the rest of my life.
Author: Sashataakheru
Fandom: AUSComedy/RPS
Characters: Adam Hills/Hamish Blake
Prompt: #29 Submissive
Word Count: 2,808
Warnings: Bondage/D/s themes.
Rating: NC-17 to be safe, even if it's not all that graphic.
Disclaimer: I don’t know them, not associated with them, just a slashy fangirl admirer with a very active imagination. Complete fiction.
Table: http://wolfanfics.livejournal.com/10809.html
Progress: 1/50
Author's Notes/Summary: This is an exploration of the D/s aspects of Adam and Hamish’s relationship. Perhaps it’s the age difference that gets me (it's about ten years), but I think there’s a weird, very subtle D/s thing going on here. I did consider this fitting the restraints prompt, but this is more about submission than being restrained, so it’s submissive. I’ll deal with restraints later, I think.
Bound To You
Opening the door, at first everything seemed as it should be. Then I spotted Hamish kneeling on the floor by the door. I mean, sure, he’s prone to being a tad unpredictable, but this was just confusing.
“Something wrong, Hamish?” I said.
“Hi, Adam,” Hamish said, not looking up at me.
“Don’t go silent on me, Hamish,” I said, kneeling in front of him and grabbing his hands. Only now did I notice the collar. “Why have you got a collar, Hamish? Something you want to tell me?” I said.
Hamish took a deep breath, apparently struggling to find the right words. “I… I want to give myself to you completely,” he said finally.
“What on earth do you mean by that?” I said, not quite understanding his request.
“I-I want domination, Adam. Look after me, Adam. Please,” Hamish said, his voice struggling to remain calm.
“You want what, exactly? Tell me what you want me to do,” I said.
“I want…” Hamish’s voice fell silent. He growled in frustration, unable to articulate what he wanted, his fists hitting against the carpet hard.
I gently placed a hand on his thigh, lifting his head up to meet my eyes. “Why is this so hard, Hamish? You know you can tell me anything, right?” I said.
Hamish still hesitated, taking a deep breath before finally speaking. “I want domination. I want to be submissive. There, I said it. Do you get what I mean by that at all?” he said, searching my eyes.
“Do you mean what I think you mean? Is this why you have the collar?” I said, vague visions of leather, whips and all sorts of violence entering my head. He doesn’t really want that, does he?
“Yeah. I want to submit to you completely, but I know that might be more than you can accept. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m being stupid. Just forget what I said,” Hamish said.
“I can’t just forget this. How long have you wanted this?” I said.
“I-I’m not sure I know exactly. It just feels right. I trust you more than I trust anyone else, enough to let you take complete control of me. You don’t think I’m crazy, do you?” Hamish said.
“You’d give me that sort of power over you? I don’t know if I could do that. I don’t think I could ever hurt you, even if you wanted me to,” I said. I may not have shown it, but my heart was pounding in my chest. I wasn’t sure I could do what he wanted me to do. It was never something I’d ever considered seriously.
“I never said I wanted you to hurt me. That… sort of domination… is more than I could cope with. I don’t deal with pain well. I’m not exactly sure how to describe what I want. Sorry for being so vague about this,” Hamish said.
“How can I help you if you don’t tell me what you want? Just try to explain it, Hamish. You know I’m not judging you because of this, right?” I said.
“Not many people I know would be so accepting of this. I’ve never told anyone. I was always afraid they’d think I was weak. I don’t think I’m weak. I think it takes a lot of strength to give in to someone like this. I-I don’t know exactly what I want, but I’d do whatever you wanted me to do. I’d like it if you’d tie me up sometimes. And could we… could you blindfold me? I think it’d be amazing to experience sex like that,” Hamish said, his voice still showing signs of his hesitation.
I paused for a moment to take in his words. At least he wasn’t asking me to hurt him. “And the collar?” I said, touching a finger to the black leather collar, curious at the small spikes covering it and the O-ring attached to the front.
“It’s a sign of my submission. I could only wear it around the house if you like. Are you still ok with this? I wasn’t sure how you’d take it,” Hamish said, lowering his head.
“Well, I can’t say it doesn’t bother me, I’m not sure this is something I can just do, but I don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on something you want. Would you show me what you want me to do? Help me understand this, Hamish,” I said. I didn’t expect him to agree, but, fuck it, this needed to be dealt with, and maybe it might be a little fun, too.
Hamish looked up at me. “Are you sure?” he said.
“Yeah. Show me,” I said without realising how determined my answer was.
Hamish stood, pulling me to my feet with him. “Then you’d better wear this. It doesn’t feel so tight once you get used to it,” he said, securing the collar around my neck, making sure it wasn’t choking me. It felt weird, having that collar around my neck. It didn’t feel suffocating; it was more like there was a heaviness around my neck that hadn’t been there before. “Come on then,” he said, taking my hand in his and leading me into the bedroom.
Leaving me sitting on the bed, Hamish pulled a bag out of the wardrobe, rummaging around in it before pulling out some rope. I touched the collar again, intrigued at the spikes and the smoothness of the leather. It was beginning to feel rather comfortable around my neck, as if it should be there. I saw Hamish looking back at me. He threw the rope on the bed and rummaged around in the bag again. I noticed him pulling out what looked like a silk scarf. I wondered where he’d gotten these things from.
“Do you trust me, Adam? I won’t hurt you, I promise,” Hamish said, sitting down beside me.
“I trust you. Doesn’t make me any less nervous though,” I said. “What are you going to do with that rope?”
“I was going to tie your hands together, behind your back maybe. I was going to blindfold you, tie you up a bit, and show you what it feels like to feel everything, to just let go and let someone else look after you, while not being able to see anything. I won’t hit you or whip you or anything, alright? Just touch you. Fuck you. Get you so fucking aroused you’ll be begging me to let you cum,” Hamish said.
I must admit I shivered in apprehension. It did sound tempting. The small part of my brain that was slightly curious about this made the final decision. “Do it. I want to know what this is like,” I said.
Before I knew it, the scarf was tied around my head. My world was plunged into darkness. I was glad it was silk and not something else, because it was very soft. I’d seen those tight leather hoods, and could only imagine how horrible it’d be to wear one of those. This scarf was quite pleasant.
I just sat where I was on the bed, unsure where Hamish was. He wasn’t speaking at all. I felt him messing around with my jeans. I was naked before I could protest, pushed back onto the bed, wondering what on earth he’d do to me. The cold air just added to the excitement. I hadn’t expected to like this anticipation so much. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but just thinking about what he might do, what he might use, was driving me crazy. I just wanted him to get started now.
I had this feeling I was alone in the room, Hamish must’ve left to get something. The intense cold suddenly shooting into me shocked me. I could feel my nipples growing numb. As soon as the cold had appeared, it vanished, replaced by wet heat. He was kissing me, I think.
Then I felt the rope against my skin, cold fingers grabbing my wrists tightly. My initial reaction was to fight him, but then I remembered why we were doing this and quickly lay still. I ordered myself to just give in, to let him do what he wanted. He began to wrap the rope around my wrists, binding them tightly together. OK, so he didn’t tie the rope so tight it cut off circulation, but I couldn’t wriggle free at any rate. He must’ve been practising his knots. I think he threaded the rope through the ring on the collar, as I found my bound hands unable to move far from my chest. I was aware that he was wrapping the rope around my chest, working down towards my stomach. I had no idea what it looked like, but I felt the rope tight around my arms, my chest, my ribs, and then down towards my thighs. He was so slow with it, wrapping it tight enough that I couldn’t escape, but not so tight that I felt I was going to suffocate. I really wished I could’ve seen the way he tied me up, rope covering my arms, chest, down to my thighs, even going so far as to keep my legs apart. I‘d never thought being so bound and vulnerable could feel so arousing.
All I could do was lie there, imagining what was being done to me. I wasn’t sure if he was using feathers, fingers, scarves, rope, it all began to feel the same after a while. But, there was so much sensation I felt my head was going to explode. Constant sensation, never ending, always something there keeping my attention on him. I had no idea what he was doing to me, just that it was turning me on, making me want him so fucking badly, and all the while, he never spoke a word. Complete silence. I didn’t know where he was, or what he was touching me with, all I was aware of was darkness and silence. My begging was never fulfilled. He seemed to be ignoring anything I said. I quickly stopped asking, knowing he wouldn’t give in to me.
And just when I thought I was about to lose any remaining control I had, I felt him sliding something onto my hard cock, vaguely aware of what I assumed was lube coated on afterwards. And then he slid down on me, so fucking slowly, hands caressing my thighs, scratching my skin ever so softly, and I wanted to scream. I would’ve screamed had he not covered my mouth with his hand, whispering the only words he’d speak the entire time, “Scream and I’ll stop, love.”
Shivering, I had to suppress my voice, forced to content myself with just lying there as he moved on me, slowly at first, obviously making me wait. I didn’t think it was possible to be any harder than I was now, but I could’ve sworn I got harder, feeling his feet brushing against my legs, his hands pressing against my chest, like I needed to be restrained further. But, it became so easy to just give in, to just let him have his way, to just lie back and experience everything without having to worry abut what I should or shouldn’t be doing. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so relaxed.
And when he finally sped up, when he finally drove us both over the edge, God, I let myself scream. The pleasure in my body was astounding. He finally stopped moving and slid off me. I felt him lying beside me, gently stroking my arm. The rope made breathing feel a bit more restrained than I was used to, but, fuck it, it was worth it. Slowly, I got my breath back; Hamish’s own ragged breathing was loud in my ear.
“Did you enjoy that, love?” Hamish said softly.
“Fuck, that’s amazing. I’m not sure I want to let you have your way here and be the one tied up all the time,” I said, teasing him.
“Aww, don’t be like that. Don’t deny me now,” Hamish said.
“Didn’t you say you’d do anything I wanted you to do?” I said.
“Yeah, but-”
“Then consider it my first order. You’re not getting tied up unless I want you to be tied up. Though don’t take that to mean you’ll never be tied up, just not as often as I’ll make you tie me up. I think I enjoyed that far too much,” I said, half-serious, trying not to sound too overbearing. I didn’t like the idea of ordering him around like a nameless slave. He’s too special for that treatment.
“Fuck you, Adam,” he said.
I just laughed. “Hey, you fucking asked for this. Don’t you want it now?” I said.
I heard him sigh, knowing he was about to give in. “I do, I just wanted to be the one all tied up and submissive, not you,” he said.
“Who said anything about me being all submissive? I asked you to do this to me, and you agreed, that makes you the submissive one,” I said.
“Fine! Be a fucking bitch then. I’ll just leave you all tied up there then,” he said, now beginning to sound exasperated.
“No you fucking won’t. Untie me you bitch,” I said.
I could hear his frustrated breathing. I supposed he was thinking about arguing further, but I’d given him an order, so I knew it wouldn’t be long before he complied. At least, I hoped so. I didn’t want to spend the rest of the night tied up like this, but I wouldn’t put it past him to run off and leave me alone, bound and unable to move.
Sure enough, he removed the blindfold and began untying me. Soon enough, I was free, looking at the slightly red marks and the depressions on my skin where the rope had been. I sat on the edge of the bed, examining the marks with a strange fascination. I swear I could still feel the rope tight around me even though it wasn’t there any more. It was an interesting feeling. I saw him come and kneel at my feet, looking up at me. I looked at him, wondering why he suddenly looked so serious.
“Something the matter?” I asked.
“Would you… Would you let me be submissive to you? I-I just want to know for certain. Just… don’t be cruel. I don’t want you to be cruel, not that I think you are, I just – don’t think I could cope with that. That hardcore bondage shit isn’t for me. I need a guiding hand, not a cruel one. Please, Adam? Would you do that for me?” Hamish said, looking up at me. God, he looked so desperate, so serious, so in need of my reassurance. He need not have feared I’d be cruel. It’s not in my nature to be cruel to anyone.
“Of course, I’d do that for you. And you don’t have to be afraid of me being cruel to you. I could never hurt you. That goes against everything I believe in. I’ll look after you, keep you safe. Don’t you worry about a thing,” I said, smiling at him.
He smiled back at me, suddenly wrapping his arms around me, pushing me back against the bed as he held me tightly. I could sense how happy he was. It was the child in him coming out. I really did love that side of him. Sometimes, it’s just what you need to lift you out of a bad mood, or to break tension. I held him back, glad to have him in my arms.
“Thank you, Adam. You’re the only person I’ll ever trust so completely. God, I love you so much,” Hamish said.
“I love you too. Thank you for sharing this with me,” I said.
“Thank you for letting me,” he said.
I smiled. Nothing more was said. We’d come to an understanding, even if it wasn’t obvious to anyone else. A part of me was happy he’d finally come out and told me about this, because I’d always wondered why he seemed so willing to let me take over. I figured it was just a quirk of his. That it was really his desire for submission made more sense.
But, still, I wasn’t satisfied. I’d more than willingly let him do that to me, and fuck, I had enjoyed that. I came to realise I did want him to tie me up like that more often. Being at his mercy, unable to know what he was doing, was such a release from having to look after him the rest of the time. I began to wonder who the real submissive is, something I think I’ll be wondering about for the rest of my life.
