Craig/Andrew/Charles -- Butterflies and Hurricanes - Part Two

[wolfanfics]

Title: Butterflies and Hurricanes
Author: sashataakheru
Fandom: The Chaser RPS
Starring: Craig “Cassie” Reucassel, Charles Firth, Andrew Hansen, Chris Taylor
Pairings: Craig/Charles, Craig/Andrew, Andrew/Charles, Chris/Craig
Prompt: 1702 - RPF - The Chaser, Craig Reucassel, A bloke in a frock is always funny, but sometimes it's more than just a costume, it's something much deeper than that.
Word Count: 6,752/14,719
Part: 2/2 (Part One)
Warning/s: trans* issues, cross-dressing, smut, wanking/masturbation, coarse language
Rating: FRM
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and has no basis in truth.
Author’s Notes: Written for lgbtfest 2009
Summary: it’s 1995, and Craig’s just started uni. Things are going swimmingly until he realises another side of him needs to come out and dealing with that will challenge his friends and the world around him.


Butterflies and Hurricanes pt 2
Charles didn’t get to talk to Cassie until the next evening. They’d both been too busy during the day to have that talk Charles wanted them to have, so it fell to drinks at the pub. Though given the time between Cassie’s teasing and Charles being able to reply to her, Charles had lost a lot of his frustration, no thanks to Cassie being able to spare ten minutes to cheer him up a little.

They sat in a corner with their drinks, trying to ignore the drunken argument flaring up around the bar that appeared to be about a packet of chips. Cassie suddenly felt a little more apprehensive than she usually did.

“Calm down. They won’t bother you,” Charles said.

“You don’t know that,” Cassie said.

“Don’t give them reason to bother you. Just - let’s talk and ignore them,” Charles said.

“Look, if it’s about Andrew, just forget it, okay? He’s nice. I’ll stay with you tonight if it’ll make up for it,” Cassie said.

“You’re not staying over, not after what happened last time,” Charles said.

“Are you still bitter about that? Jesus. You do hold a grudge, don’t you?” Cassie said.

“I’m not bitter, I just-”

“Yeah, lose the pretension, love. It doesn’t suit you. Oh, good, finally they’re all being turfed out. I can relax a little,” Cassie said as she watched security finally take notice of the brawl and kick the drunken students out. She instinctively reached for Charles’ hand.

“You really are more insecure than you like to make out, aren’t you?” Charles said.

“Can’t show weakness. Can’t give them a reason to have a go at me. It’s self-preservation,” Cassie said.

“You’re allowed to be scared. This is a big thing you’re doing. The world hasn’t had time to catch up with you yet. I’m not sure you’ve properly appreciated how dangerous the world can be to you now,” Charles said.

“Yeah, I did kinda rush it, didn’t I?” Cassie said.

“Just a little. But you know I’ve got your back, no matter what. I’ll keep you safe,” Charles said.

Cassie turned to him and smiled. “My big, brave Charles,” she said.

“So, are we exclusive, or are you going to keep sleeping with Andrew?” Charles said.

“Why don’t you sleep with him and then make up your mind? He’s really well worth it,” Cassie said. “While I think I’ll have a go at that guy over there.”

“Which guy?” Charles said, scanning the bar.

“Who do you think? Mr Pathetic Loser over there staring into his pint. Didn’t he come to the auditions? Probably. He seems the type. Ten bucks says he’s gay,” Cassie said.

“Alright. You’re on. But don’t go getting yourself in trouble. I’ll be keeping an eye on you, especially in here, what with the prevailing mood and all,” Charles said.

“Yes, sir, I’ll try not to wind him up so bad he gets angry,” Cassie said with a flirtatious wink.

Charles watched her stand and walk over to him. She was capable of looking after herself, but Charles couldn’t help being protective anyway.



The man in Cassie’s sights sat at the bar, staring into his pint. He was feeling a little lost. He wasn’t entirely sure he was heading in the right direction, career wise, but he had no other options because there was no way in hell he was going into law like the rest of his family. Perhaps he’d been at uni too long. It was starting to lose its appeal.

“Hey sunshine. You look like you need cheering up,” Cassie said, taking the seat beside him.

“And why would you think that?” the man said, turning to look at her. “Oh, hi. I’m Chris. You seem familiar. Have we met before?”

“I dunno, I just started here. I’m Cassie. Weren’t you at the auditions?” she said.

“Which auditions? Oh, wait, revue. Yeah, I was there. I should’ve remembered you. You’re kinda unforgettable. Well, Cassie, it’s an honour to meet you properly then,” Chris said, giving her his warmest smile.

“You been here long? This place is really huge. I still don’t know my way around half the campus. You wouldn’t want to show me round one day, would you, a poor llittle kid like me, just out of high school?” Cassie said, fluttering her eyelashes.

“I, uh, could show you round now, if you like. I mean, get out of this pub of obnoxious drunks. I don’t usually come in here, but I needed some new scenery. And it seems I’ve found some,” Chris said.

“Drink up then. I could use some air,” Cassie said.

Chris did indeed drink up. Cassie threw Charles a wink as she left with Chris, arm in arm. He waited a few minutes before heading out as well. He wouldn’t follow them, well, not directly, but he would make sure he was nearby in case he was needed. He’d started doing this ever since Cassie had nearly been attacked a couple of weeks before after some drunk student refused to take no for an answer. Charles fought him off and sent him on his way. Charles had promised to stick by her side ever since and keep an eye on her.



The university campus was eerily quiet at night. It was late on Friday, and with no classes running, it was the pubs where the students congregated. Everywhere else was rather empty. Music from the pubs echoed around through the cooling air. Chris, his arm linked with Cassie’s, led her along to the college where he’d stayed for the last three years.

“So, what are you studying then?” Chris said.

“Law, for lack of any other ideas. What about you?” Cassie said.

“Just started a Masters degree. Why I don’t know,” Chris said.

“You don’t know why you’re doing it? What, did you wake up one morning and someone told you you were doing Masters? I didn’t know ait worked like that,” Cassie said, resisting the urge to laugh.

“It just about did. I had slept in the morning my acceptance letter arrived and I had to be woken up by my mother,” Chris said.

“Tut tut. That is poor form. I can see how committed you are,” Cassie said.

“Yes, well, there was a certain expectation that I go into law, and my decision not to after only one day wasn’t exactly well received,” Chris said.

“Only got yourself to blame for that,” Cassie said.

“Yes, well,” Chris said, lost for a retort.

Cassie smirked. She really wasn’t as lost as she’d made out, and had some idea of where they were heading. Chris was the sort of boy, Cassie decided, who would only have a place at St Paul’s. It was the way he spoke, like some of the private school boys she’d occasionally seen in her time when she visited the city. Probably had lots of money, and staff. Yes, he seemed like the sort to come from a family that had staff. They probably played polo on weekends and had a holiday house, perhaps in Italy or Greece. And he would stay at St Paul’s because all the other men in his family had stayed there. Indeed, her prediction came to fruition as Chris led her inside the old residential college of St Paul’s.

“I can’t believe you live here with all these wankers,” Cassie said, keeping her voice low enough to avoid conflict, but not quiet enough not to be heard.

“It has its moments,” was all Chris was willing to admit. “You got your own place?”

“Student village, at least for this year. I’m just a poor little country lass,” Cassie said.

That Chris flinched at that made him mentally scold himself for such a reaction. He was sure he’d grown out of such snobbery, especially since he’d started uni, but apparently some residual traces remained. He did wonder if he’d have been so forgiving if she hadn’t been so fucking gorgeous.

If Cassie thought the outside looked grand, she wasn’t quite prepared for how grand it was inside. It looked as if it had been lifted straight from an old British university. It looked exactly as you’d expect a place like this to look. It stunk of archaic male tradition, testosterone-laden male students from high-ranking families that all probably had their own fucking castle or something. Cassie gazed around as Chris led her to his room. They didn’t pass anyone as they went; Cassie assumed they were either getting drunk at their own bar, or fast asleep. She waited as Chris opened the door to his room and gestured her inside.

“Ooh, fancy. You’re not living poor, are you? Nice place,” Cassie said as she took in his rather fancy room.

It was small, but fitted out well. It had the smell of history. Indeed, its real beauty was somewhat diminished by the presence of Chris’ large quantity of stuff all over the place. He wasn’t very tidy. The only thing that wasn’t flung over something or on the floor was a crisp dinner suit, clearly just back from the drycleaners, hanging from a hook on the back of the door. Cassie silently wondered if boys such as him got in trouble for keeping their rooms in such a state. Did they get a caning for it? Cassie wouldn’t have been surprised if they did. St Paul’s seemed like the sort of place that would use such discipline on its residents.

“Do excuse the mess. I’ve been meaning to clean it up all week, but I’ve been too busy,” he said. He made a quick effort to at least clean off the stuff from his bed, stacking it on what free space was left on his desk. Anything else went on the floor.

“Yeah, you’re not seeing anyone, are you? This is definitely bachelor territory,” Cassie said, seeing the room before her.

“And what are you insinuating by that?” Chris said, shutting the door quietly to avoid waking anyone else.

“Was I insinuating something? I was merely pointing out I can tell by the state of your room that you haven’t had a lover for quite some time,” Cassie said.

“I’m not sure you needed to voice that fact,” Chris said.

“Jesus. It must cost you a fortune to stay here. What’s the suit for anyway?” Cassie said, glancing around.

“Oh, you know, formal occasions, that sort of thing. I get by with scholarships, and my parents help a little,” Chris said, lying in a bid to make himself seem less of a rich prick. “What are you after anyway?”

“I don’t know, there’s probably some archaic rule stating you’re not allowed to fuck in here, right? I hope there isn’t though, cos you’re really quite too cute to leave unfucked,” Cassie said.

“You’re not subtle, are you?” Chris said.

“I go after what I want, and right now, that’s you,” Cassie said. She stepped forward, closing the gap between them.

Chris held her hips gently and kissed her. He was hesitant. Cassie was beautiful, and Chris was terrified as much as he wanted her. Cassie didn’t let him go slow for much longer. She was in no mood to take it slow. Chris found himself lying on the bed with Cassie on top of him. It had been far too long since he was last with a girl. Oh, he needed her bad.

“I bet you’re a whore for sex, aren’t you? Especially someone who doesn’t get it that often,” Cassie said as she lay down on top of him and began sucking on his neck.

“I’m not sure that’s the description I’d have used, but-”

“Oh, shit, you’re not gay, are you?” Yeah, nice one, Cassie. Real subtle.

“What makes you think I’m gay?” Chris said, looking up at her, surprised at her accusation.

“Well, you’re not the most macho guy I’ve ever been with, that’s for sure. Besides, I caught you glancing at boys in the pub,” Cassie said. It was a lie, but it didn’t matter.

Chris shifted uncomfortably. “That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gay. Cos I’m not gay,” he insisted.

“Honey, I understand the fear. I’m just like you. Don’t you think it’d be good to just say it, even once, even to someone like me?” Cassie said, turning serious as she caught the fear in Chris’ eyes.

“How are you like me?” Chris said.

Cassie pondered her response for a moment. “Like this,” she said, bringing Chris’ hand between her legs to feel her cock tucked away.

“Is that what I think it is? You’re really a man?” Chris said, trying not to overreact.

“No, I’m a woman. My body just hasn’t caught up yet,” Cassie said. She remained serious in a hope of not attracting his anger.

“Oh, get off me, whatever the hell you are! I’m not gay! I don’t know who told you I was, but it’s a filthy lie, just like you,” Chris said, shoving Cassie away. “Who sent you here like that? Why? Trying to get me kicked out, hey?”

Cassie landed on the floor hard. Chris stood over her, wondering which of his friends (or enemies) had asked a transexual to seduce him. It was a disgusting trick. Whoever had done this would be punished.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just thought you were cute and needed a shag,” Cassie said, slowly getting to her feet.

“All you do is lie. All you are is a lie, you freak. Get out of my sight,” Chris said. He would’ve hit him, but he didn’t think his father would’ve approved, even if this woman was really a man. He wasn’t a coward (yes, he was) but he would content himself with glaring at him. That would show him. He would not be raped by some man in a dress.

Cassie got the hint. The way Chris was glaring at her made her decide arguing further would do her no good at all. Besides, even though he didn’t look like he’d hurt her, best to escape now and not give him a chance. Time to go and find Charles. She straightened her clothes and made sure her hair was neat.

“You really are a pretentious jerk, you know. No wonder you never get laid,” Cassie said, unable to leave without getting a last comment in.



Cassie slammed the door as she left and headed out of the college. She was angry more than anything for letting him get to her. She found Charles nearby, waiting for her. She wasn’t crying, but she did appreciate the hug he gave her.

“Ahaha, I may have screwed that one up. Stupid fucker,” Cassie said, doing her best to laugh it off.

“I did warn you to be careful,” Charles said.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I thought I could handle it. I didn’t think he’d be such a wanker about it,” Cassie said. “Probably would’ve been a dud root anyway. I can do better than that.”

“Yeah, you can do better alright. Come on, let’s get you home. You’re shaking,” Charles said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m fine, really,” Cassie said, ignoring the fact that her knees felt weak and her hands were shaking.

“Sure you are,” Charles said. He decided against saying anything else. Silently, they headed back to Craig’s flat.



They ran into Andrew on the way home. He’d been heading out to the pub to meet them. He smiled as he saw them, but turned serious as he saw the way Cassie was. He was at her side then, holding her hands tightly as they walked back to Cassie’s flat.

“What happened? Is she alright?” Andrew said.

“We’ll talk inside. Get the door, Andy,” Charles said, handing him Cassie’s keys.

Once inside, Cassie changed into something warmer and curled up on the couch next to Charles. Andrew made them all some tea and brought the mugs over and set them on the coffee table. He took a seat next to Cassie, taking her hand gently.

“So what did happen anyway? He didn’t actually hit you or anything, did he?” Charles said.

“No, he didn’t hurt me, thank fuck. I would’ve killed him if he’d tried. Look, we talked, he seemed nice enough. I thought he’d be okay with me, but apparently not. He freaked out. I didn’t hang around. That was it. Pretentious wanker. Not going to get laid for a while, that one. Maybe that’s his punishment,” Cassie said.

“Why’s that? Did you kick him in the balls?” Andrew said.

“No, but I probably should’ve done. Trust me. That man is lonely. And I still think he’s gay. He still didn’t need to say I was a lie, though. That hurt the most. He could’ve hit me, raped me, whatever. But him saying I was fake, that this isn’t real? Yeah, that was like getting punched in the face. It was probably time all that shit caught up with me, hey?” Cassie said, allowing herself a small grin.

“I told you to be careful, didn’t I?” Charles said.

“Just be thankful he didn’t really hurt you, whoever he was. Had a mate like you a few years back. Old school mate. He died, what, a year or two ago. I can hardly remember now. Some drunk bastard decided he didn’t like him peeing next to him and smashed his face in. He was barely 18 years old. Don’t you dare do the same thing to me, you hear?” Andrew said, the memories getting a little painful again.

“I wasn’t planning to, love. I’ll be more careful from now on,” Cassie said.

“Good. I don’t want to attend another funeral. His was painful enough. They kept using the wrong pronouns...” Andrew said. It was all he could say. It had been a trainwreck of a funeral, and Andrew had remained cold towards those who had denied his friend’s identity as a man since then.

Cassie brought an arm around Andrew’s shoulder and held him close. “It’ll be okay, love.”

“His name was Michael. I’d known him since I was a kid. I was the first person he came out to. We were dating at the time. Good kid. He was going places, that boy. Such a waste,” Andrew said softly, clinging to Cassie. He would not cry, not now. “It’s funny, I’ve never really talked about him since the funeral. Never had anyone who’d understand. Sorry if I’m a bit emotional about it. I miss him a lot.”

“It’s okay. I understand. Not the happiest way to end the night, is it? Think we should cheer ourselves up?” Cassie said.

“Oh? You have any suggestions?” Andrew said.

“I think we should put some music on and have a damn good time, in Michael’s honour,” Cassie said.

“She means, get drunk and have sex,” Charles translated.

“Nothing wrong with that, is there?” Cassie said.

“Sounds good to me. I’ll go get some drinks then. You sort out the music,” Andrew said.

“I’d bring some of your own music, Hansen. Don’t trust Cassie to have anything good,” Charles said.

“I’ll bring some decent music then. Any requests for drinks? I’ve got some vodka and a few beers. Will that do?” Andrew said.

“Check the fridge. Get what you want. Vodka sounds good though,” Cassie said.

Andrew extracted himself from Cassie’s embrace and wandered over to the small bar fridge. It contained some beer, and a few bottles of spirits laying flat on the bottom.

“Actually, I think we’ll be fine. I’ll go get my music. Won’t be long,” Andrew said, getting to his feet.

“Don’t be long, love. The night’s still young. I want a decent party,” Cassie said.

“I’ll do my best. Back soon,” Andrew said.

Cassie watched him go and snuggled into Charles’ embrace. “I suppose this is how things are going to be now. And if you don’t shag him soon, I’m going to make you, okay?”

“Alright, alright, stop nagging,” Charles said.

“I don’t know why you haven’t already. Do you need me to supervise your sex life, hey?” Cassie said.

“No, I do not. Now, shut up and get me some beer. I need a bloody drink,” Charles said.

“Since when did you order me around, Charles? Get your own bloody beer. Besides, I’m the one who’s just had this nasty shock and I’m all delicate and afraid. Be the man and get me a beer? Or some vodka? Please?” Cassie flashed him her most vulnerable look.

“Oh, alright. Since you’re suffering so badly,” Charles said, smiling. He left Cassie on the sofa and went to retrieve drinks. “You don’t have any vodka, love. You’ve just got white rum and tequila, and beer,” Charles said.

“Shit. Should’ve asked Andy to get some. Okay, beer then. I’m not in a tequila mood,” Cassie said.

“I’ll go get some later if we want it. At least the rum’s okay,” Charles said, extracting two cans of beer from the fridge. He returned to the sofa and handed Cassie one of them.

“The rum can wait til Andy gets back. Drink up, good friend,” Cassie said, raising her beer.



Andrew soon returned, bringing a bottle of vodka and a collection of CDs. Cassie got up as she saw the vodka. She left Charles behind as she got to her feet. Andrew offered her the bottle with a smile.

“Oh, you genius. Good stuff, this,” Cassie said, admiring the vodka.

“Thought you’d appreciate it. Shall I put some music on then?” Andrew said.

“What’d you bring? Stereo’s over there by the wall,” Cassie said, gesturing over by the window.

“I brought some proper music. What have you got anyway?” Andrew said, going to inspect the CD collection by the stereo.

“Oh, you know, the normal stuff,” Cassie said.

Andrew looked at the top few CDs and decided they were better off listening to real music. “This isn’t normal stuff, Cassie. No one with taste listens to this crap. No, what you need is this,” he said. He picked one of his CDs and set it in the stereo. He turned to them and grinned as it began playing.

“What’s this then? You call this music?” Cassie said, not recognising it.

“It’s The Beatles. Surely you’ve heard of The Beatles. Can’t have a party without The Beatles,” Andrew insisted.

“You, Hansen, are a nerd. Now go pour me some damn vodka,” Cassie said.



Their party was interrupted some time later by a commotion in the courtyard. A group of drunk guys were apparently being chased by security, though this was not obvious. Charles spotted them first as he stood by the window, looking down at them.

“Hey, come look at this. They’re riding fucking ponies. Like, real ones,” Charles said, waving them over to the window.

“What? Real ponies? Where did they get those from, I wonder?” Andrew said.

Cassie and Andrew joined Charles and saw the group of students carousing and chasing each other, confident they’d lose the security guards who’d been chasing them. The ponies were being ridden bareback and were neighing loudly at this sudden excursion when what they really wanted was to be back in their stalls.

“Jesus, they really must be pissed,” Cassie said. “Which college do you think they’re from then?”

“It’d have to be Paul’s, don’t you reckon?” Andrew said.

“Probably. It’s hard to tell. The ponies are getting in the way. Oh, come on, just buck them off already,” Charles said.

At his words, someone did indeed get bucked off their pony. There was a cry of pain and the pony startled and wandered off to find some food. The unseated rider picked himself up as the others circled around.

“Come on, Taylor, stop being a baby,” said the rider next to the fallen man.

“Shut up, Matt. Stupid fuckin’ horse. That’ll teach ya to buck me,” Taylor said, picking himself up. His pony ignored him.

“Let’s get outta here, lads. Security’s coming. Leave the ponies behind. That’ll confuse the bastards,” said Matt, his British accent more apparent this time.

At his words, the group dismounted and left the ponies to wander. The men fled, some inside the student village itself, others back towards their own college.

“Oh, they will have fun rounding that lot up. Sneaky bastards,” Cassie laughed.

“Oh, someone will have phoned it in. They weren’t exactly subtle,” Andrew said.

“And there’s security, right on time. And now they’re wondering if they should go after the students or round up the ponies,” Charles said.

There was a knock on the door then. Cassie wandered over and opened the door. Chris stood there, looking drunk and sheepish.

“And what do you want exactly? Come to apologise?” Cassie said, less than enthused at seeing him again.

“Look, please, just let me hide here til the guards go away. I won’t get you in trouble, I swear,” Chris said.

Cassie looked him over. She wasn’t sure he knew who he was talking to. “No, I don’t think so,” she said. Chris doubled over as Cassie finally had a chance to knee him in the groin. “That was for being a jerk tonight. Go find somewhere else to hide.”

Chris curled up on the floor and cringed as Cassie shut the door on him. She locked the door and breathed a sigh of relief. She’d got her revenge. Everything was alright now.

“Was that the jerk from the pub?” Charles said.

“Yeah, that was him. I hope he gets saddle sore. That’ll show him,” Cassie said.

She was feeling better now that she wasn’t cowering in her room. Andrew waltzed over and took her hands as a new song began playing, swinging her around the small room as they danced.

“You, my princess, shall never be troubled again,” Andrew said.

“I’ll be Queen of the whole fucking world,” Cassie said with a broad grin on her face.



It was dawn when they finally crashed, not that anyone noticed. Andrew was curled into the sofa, Charles was draped over the bottom of the bed, and Cassie clutched a pillow under her head as she took the top of the bed. All three were in varying states of undress. There had been sex that night. Charles had finally fucked Andrew and then they had settled into a comfortable threesome, with Cassie in the middle, being looked after by her two best friends.

Cassie woke first to the sound of her phone ringing. She managed to scramble over and pick it up before it rang out.

“Yallo?” she said, sounding like she’d rather be asleep.

“Craig, love, how are you?”

“Mum. Hi. Um. Yeah. Fine, fine. Bit early to call, isn’t it?” Cassie said, dropping the attempt at a female voice in favour of Craig’s deep voice. She really should get around to telling her parents about this.

“It’s after midday. How is that early?”

“Shit. I missed work. So, um, you called because you love the sound of my voice?”

“Just that I was going to come and visit next week, if you’re not busy. I’m going in for a conference. Thought I’d drop by and see you as well.”

“Uh, sure, that’s fine. Can I have some indication of when so I can tidy up?”

“Wednesday or Thursday. Might drop by around lunchtime. You won’t tidy up. You didn’t last time I came to visit.”

“I don’t recall you giving me any notice last time.”

“Just be there. I haven’t seen my big boy for months.”

“I will, alright? I miss you too. I’ll see you later then.”

Cassie set the phone down and lay back into the couch. Andrew had woken and sat down next to him, leaving Charles to sleep.

“That sounded important,” Andrew said.

“Mum wants to come visit next week. I’m fine with it, it’s just...” Cassie paused. “She doesn’t know. About Cassie. I haven’t told her yet and I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Do you want to tell her now? You’ll have to eventually,” Andrew said.

“I don’t know. What will my little brother think? I don’t know if I can do this,” Cassie said.

“Your brother’s not coming, is he?” Andrew said.

“I fucking hope not. He might stay with a mate while mum’s gone. He’s still in high school,” Cassie said. “I don’t think I can just lump this on her like that. I might wait til the end of the year when I go home for Christmas. Maybe I’ll just play boy for her when she comes this week. I’m not ready to tell her yet.”

“Then we won’t tell her yet. You know where to find me. Call me round if you need me. I was there for Michael when he came out. I’m happy to be here for you as well,” Andrew said.

“Okay, thanks. Sounds good,” Cassie said.

“If it’s not too rude to ask, what was your boy name anyway? I don’t think you ever told me,” Andrew said.

“Craig. Not a bad name, just...” Cassie didn’t bother finishing the sentence.

“Yeah, I know. You’ll be alright. You still have any boy clothes left? Or did you throw them all away?” Andrew said.

“I kept them in case I needed them. Like in the case of surprise visits from my mother,” Cassie said. “So I’ll keep being Cassie and go back to being a boy when my mother arrives. And maybe I’ll have the guts to tell her I’m a girl at the end of the year. Sound like a plan?”

“Sounds fine to me,” Andrew said.

“Okay, cool. Hey, I’m gonna go shower. Wanna join me?” Cassie said.

“Sure. Sounds good,” Andrew said.

They shared a quick kiss before Cassie stood and led them both into the bathroom. Charles slept on, oblivious. Cassie shut the bathroom door and slipped her shirt off. The bathroom was small, but it would do. Cassie turned the shower on while Andrew undressed. Andrew stepped in eagerly, not wanting to remain cold. Cassie followed, wrapping her arms around his waist as she pulled him close.

“You know, I reckon I did see you a few times before you were a woman. I remember thinking you were like Michael, that you’d been born female. You had the same softness in your face that he had. Maybe that’s why I’m attracted to you. You’re just like him. I loved him a lot, you know. I mean, not that I’m trying to replace him or something, but you know, it’s just that-”

Andrew stopped as Cassie kissed him gently. “You’re adorable, Andrew,” Cassie said.

“Well, at least seeing you naked, I know you’re not like him. But I did wonder if you’d been born female. You’re utterly confusing in a way Michael never was. Could I... Could I see you as a boy, just once? And then as a girl?” Andrew asked.

“Sure. Gotta be a boy on Wednesday anyway. Might as well start early. Kinda half there anyway. Not feeling that female today. I still think it’s obscene that you have longer hair than me though,” Cassie said.

“You should’ve started growing it sooner. You can do that at a public school, can’t you?” Andrew said.

“Yeah, and wear ratty t-shirts and have piercings and tattooes and look like bogans. Sure, you can do that shit,” Cassie said, somewhat sarcastically. “Nah, I didn’t grow it because I didn’t want to. I’ve gotta catch up now.”

“I’ve got quite the head start on you, Cassie. Better hurry up,” Andrew said.

Cassie just kissed him as she ran her fingers through his long wet hair. She would have hair that long one day. She didn’t want her short boy haircut any longer.

“You’re bad for my image. You look more girly than I do. I should dress you up properly and see how cute you look. You’re skinny enough to fit into anything I can wear,” Cassie said, a threatening growl in her voice.

“Yeah, I was wondering when you’d want to do that. Who was it who gave me the princess role in the first place?” Andrew said.

“I suggested it. Charles agreed. It’s how we work. And I thought you’d look good as a princess,” Cassie said.

“I can see you’ve put a lot of thought into this,” Andrew said.

“Hey, a question. Would you have wanted me more if I’d been born female?” Cassie said.

“What, born female and become male, or just born female?” Andrew said.

“Either. I mean, I know you’re bi, but yeah. I’m curious,” Cassie said.

“I think I like you just the way you are, confusion and all,” Andrew said.

“Confused, naked and ready to maul you? I can live with that,” Cassie said. “I like being close to you. Cos, you know, you understand shit about me.”

Andrew hugged her close, resting his head against her shoulder. Cassie held him. She was incredibly lucky to have him as a friend. As long as he was around, she’d be fine. Him, and Charles. That’s all she needed.



Wednesday came sooner than anticipated. Indeed, Cassie had just arrived back with Andrew in the hopes of getting her changed before her mother arrived. Luck was not to be on their side, however. Just as she’d got some boy clothes down from the wardrobe, there was an ominous knock on the door. Cassie panicked and Andrew went to see who was there. Cassie froze as she saw her mother standing there, smiling.

“Good afternoon. I’m Andrew. Would you like to come in?” Andrew said, gesturing her inside.

“You a friend of Craig’s, are you? See, I knew he wouldn’t tidy up,” Cassie’s mother said, surveying the messy flat.

“Mum. Hi. Nice to see you,” Cassie said, stepping over the pile of clothes on the floor to greet her mother with a hug. Even though she was using her old male voice, it didn’t kill the illusion as much as Cassie thought it would.

“You look different. What’s all this for then?”

“Oh, um, it’s for revue. Just got rehearsals soon, that’s all,” Cassie said, lying through her teeth.

“I’m jealous. You look better than I did at your age. You’ll have to tell me when it’s on. I’ll come down and see you. You’d better not disappoint me,” her mother said.

“I won’t. It’ll be awesome. I’ll give you a call once we’ve finalisd the performance dates,” Cassie said.

“So, you gonna get your poor mother a drink, or have you totally forgotten how to be a good host?” her mother said, sitting down on the couch.

“Oh, I was getting to that,” Cassie said, heading over to the kitchenette to flick the kettle on. “Want anything, Andrew?”

“Coffee would be nice,” Andrew said.

“Feel free to sit down, mate. No need to stand around looking awkward. She is just my mother,” Cassie said.

“Yeah, alright. Stop nagging,” Andrew said, taking a seat beside Cassie’s mother.

Cassie soon joined them with two mugs of coffee and a mug of tea. She carefully placed the mugs on the coffee table and took a seat in the armchair.

“Sorry about the dress, I wasn’t sure when you were coming, that’s all,” Cassie said.

“Do I look worried?” her mother said.

“I don’t know, I reckon it suits him,” Andrew said.

“You haven’t seen Andrew in his princess dress, mum. It makes him look oh so manly and brave,” Cassie countered, stifling a laugh.

“Oh, shut up, Craig. It’s not that bad,” Andrew said.

“Pink really goes with your skin, man,” Cassie said.

Andrew blushed and sipped his coffee. Cassie smiled and thought Andrew was looking particularly adorable. She would have to ravage him later for it.


They talked some more about life and what they’d been up to. Cassie appreciated it. She was pleased to discover her brother was still a brat, though it hadn’t seemed to affect his marks. Cassie was somewhat annoyed by this. No way in Hell was her little brother going to outshine her. He probably would, but that didn’t mean she had to be happy about it.

Eventually, her mother had to go back to the conference and finally Cassie and Andrew were left alone. Cassie flopped down onto the bed, tired and unhappy that she’d spent the last hour as a boy, pretending she was just wearing a costume. She hadn’t realised just how difficult it would be to go back, to pretend to be something she wasn’t.

Andrew lay beside her, taking her hand gently. He didn’t say anything, but he did cradle her in his arms. Cassie wasn’t as ready to face the world as she’d thought she was, and that shocked her.

“This will never happen. I’ll never be a woman. I can’t do this to my mum,” Cassie murmured.

“You’ll be fine. I promise you’ll be okay. I’ll always be here. You saved me, you know. You made life worth living,” Andrew said.

“Lemme guess, you’ll tell me later, yeah?” Cassie said.

“Just know that. The details don’t matter,” Andrew said.

“Do you know how to make me stop thinking about, you know, dark things?” Cassie said.

“I’ll give you all the help you need. I’m not prepared to lose you as well,” Andrew said.

“Okay, good. Thanks. I’m not... used to this,” Cassie said, gesturing vaguely at her head.

“Sadly, I am. If you need someone to talk to, I know a good counsellor who’ll help you,” Andrew said.

“I’ll keep that in mind. I just... I wish mum hadn’t come round. She’s making me doubt myself,” Cassie said.

Andrew cuddled her close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Cassie, don’t die on me. Be the beautiful strong woman I know you are. Show them you can do this. Show that jerk Chris and all the other guys like him out there that you can do this.”

“Fucker. He couldn’t stick with law for more than a day. I’ll show him, the coward,” Cassie said, determination returning at the mention of Chris.

“You’ll be the best fucking lawyer in town,” Andrew said.

Sufficiently cheered up, Cassie kissed Andrew. She appreciated his company. Charles came around later on with the unhealthiest food he could find and insisted on playing hostess, frilly pink apron and all. It was a most pleasing evening. They talked, and ate, and drank too much rum. They lay on the bed together, cuddled up to Cassie. She was glad they’d settled into a comfortable threesome. She loved and adored them both. They lent her a strength she needed to remind herself she already had.

Hiding in fear was not in Craig’s character, and nor was it in Cassie’s. It didn’t mean she didn’t get afraid, of course she did, but she was better than hiding away because the world was too scary. Fuck the world. Who cares what the world thinks? She had better things to do than angst about how bad the world was. Cassie just wouldn’t listen to them. She’d tell her mother and her brother and the whole world and they’d cower as she showed them just what she was capable of.