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So apparently I'm writing bandslash again. How marvellous. *facepalm*

Also, I should go to bed. It's late. And there are trippy videos on rage and they're messing with my head. XD

...Just after this next song. (Frontier Psychiatrist - The Avalanches. <3)

Title: Shangri-La
Author: sashataakheru
Fandom: The Traveling Wilburys/The Beatles (next gen)
Starring: Jeff Lynne, Dhani Harrison
Pairings: Jeff/Dhani, implied!past!Jeff/George Harrison
Word Count: 1,022
Warnings: sexual situations, angst
Rating: FRM
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction. Not true in any way shape or form.
Author’s Notes: KT made me do it. XD
Summary: Set early-mid 2002. Grief for George brings them together in a way neither had quite anticipated.


Shangri-La
“Y’know, I was your age when I met your dad for the first time. Didn't bloody sleep for three days afterwards,” Jeff said.

It had been a few months since George had died. It seemed like a lifetime. In spite of inviting him around, Dhani’s presence seemed empty, as if Jeff was still waiting for George to turn up and be with him again. He kept hearing his voice on the breeze, as if he was still around. Maybe there was something to the whole life after death thing.

They were in Jeff’s bedroom for no other reason than that was where Jeff had been when Dhani arrived. They sat beside each other, hands gently touching, reassuring each other that they were both still real.

“Yeah?” Dhani said.

Dhani'd heard the story before, but he was never loathe to stop him telling it. It always impressed him. People often found it weird he still had no real comprehension of just how big The Beatles had been. He had never lived it, and never quite understood the sort of devotion their fans had. Even now, Jeff still held on to that devotion. It was oddly touching.

“Yeah. Bigger than God they were,” Jeff said softly, gazing up towards the Heavens as if challenging God to disagree. When nothing happened, he gazed down at the floor again.

Dhani glanced at him, studying the emotions on his face. He wasn’t hiding behind his glasses for once. It made him seem vulnerable. Dhani thought he’d seen more than perhaps Jeff had anticipated. “You really loved him, didn't you? My dad, I mean,” he said softly.

“Yeah, I did. Great man. You look just like him, you know. I can see him in your eyes, staring back at me,” Jeff said.

Dhani turned to look at him. Their eyes met and silence fell over them. Dhani clasped his hand properly.

“We’ll finish it for him,” Dhani murmured.

“It’d be an honour,” Jeff said.

Dhani curled up next to him. Jeff wrapped a protective arm around his shoulders. Dhani seemed so very young and innocent then. Jeff felt a thousand years older. Neither quite knew what to say next.

“He kissed beautifully,” Jeff murmured, a confession only for Dhani to hear. He wasn’t sure why he’d said it. He’d never been brave enough to brag about such an intimate relationship. But now, perhaps, Dhani should know.

“Show me?” Dhani said, inquisitively.

Jeff hesitated a moment. He knew he shouldn't do anything. It seemed wrong to assume that Dhani would be the same as his father. And yet... There was a longing in Dhani’s eyes that wanted to know. Instinctively, just the same way he did with George, he gently cupped the boy's face and kissed him.

That he wasn’t kissing George hurt. That his son would see this side of him, of them both, hurt. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He pulled back and looked at him. Dhani saw a tear roll down his cheek.

“You alright?” Dhani said.

“You're not your dad, and I should stop thinkin’ you are,” Jeff said.

“It's okay to miss him, you know,” Dhani said.

“But it's not okay to replace him with you. I don't think he'd want that,” Jeff said.

“I think he'd understand, given the circumstances,” Dhani said.

“What are you on about?” Jeff said.

“I miss him, Jeff. You loved him. Can you love me?” Dhani said.

“You don’t really mean that. You’re just grievin’ still. It wouldn’t be right,” Jeff said.

Dhani thought about replying but he wasn’t in the mood for discussion. Gently, he kissed Jeff again, taking the first step rather than wait for him to do so. It was a catalyst to what would follow.

Jeff held him, surprised by his desire to keep Dhani close to him, as if he was afraid he too would slip out of his grasp if he let him go. He’d already lost George. He wasn’t going to lose Dhani too.

Dhani wrapped his arms around his neck. “Just comfort me. Just for the moment. That’s all I need right now,” he murmured.

It was a hard request to refuse. Dhani needed him. Jeff would answer his call. He gently lay him down and held him close, treating him as if he were the most precious thing in the world. It was like having George with him again, albeit a much younger George than the one he was used to.

But of course he wasn’t George. George was gone. Dhani was all that was left. Jeff was more delicate with him than he’d been with anyone in a long time.

They lay still and silent afterwards. The moment of need had passed. Jeff cradled Dhani in his arms, not because he was upset, but because it seemed right. Jeff kissed his forehead gently, brushing a hand through his hair.

“Don’t worry, Dhan, we’ll do him proud, you and me together,” Jeff murmured.

Dhani didn’t reply. Jeff glanced down and saw he’d fallen asleep. He smiled. He shifted ever so gently so as not to wake him and tucked him into bed. Dhani shifted slightly, one eye watching him leave before closing to the world again. Jeff gave Dhani a soft kiss goodnight, dressed quietly and left him to sleep.

Now alone, Dhani slipped out of bed and opened the door a crack, enough to watch him. He did so not out of malicious intent, but out of curiosity and concern.

Out in the hall, away from Dhani, Jeff wondered if he’d done the right thing. And then he wanted George back and all the emotion he’d managed to keep in check so far broke free. Jeff sunk to the floor, sobbing, silently asking George for forgiveness.

“Come back, ya bastard. Come back.”

Dhani, unobserved, quietly closed the door and went back to bed. He felt a little bad for witnessing such a private moment. Perhaps it was Jeff who needed him more than he needed Jeff.

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Sashataakheru

September 2010

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