Adam/Wil: Shadow
Apr. 17th, 2007 07:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolfanficsTitle: Shadow
Author: Sashataakheru
Fandom: AusComedy
Characters: Wil Anderson, Adam Hills
Pairings: Adam/Wil, implied Adam/Hamish
Prompt: #35 Ball Gags for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
50kinkyways
Word Count: 1,529
Warnings: angst, swearing, boykissing, bondage toys.
Rating: FRM
Disclaimer: I don’t know them, not associated with them, just a slashy fangirl admirer with a very active imagination.
Table: http://wolfanfics.livejournal.com/10809.html
Progress: 15/50
Author's Notes/Summary: Sequel to Where’s My Slave? and includes masses of Wil angst, the poor dear. *pets him*
Shadow
“God, you are such a moron,” Wil chastised himself. Adam was asleep, but Wil wasn’t tired. He was annoyed at himself for almost revealing how he really felt about Adam. Not that he’d actually said it straight out, it had been rather thinly disguised, and Adam looked like he was too dazed in happiness to really get what he’d said, but still. Adam was getting to him and he didn’t like it. He knew Adam only wanted Hamish; why did he persist with this stupid infatuation?
He was standing by the window, looking out at the city. Well, the door to the balcony that doubled as a window. It was well into the early hours of the morning. Wil didn’t care what the time was. He’d raided the minibar once he knew Adam was asleep, although one could argue he probably didn’t need any more alcohol, but that thought never crossed his mind.
He turned and leant against the wall, unable to take his eyes off Adam’s sleeping figure. It was dark, but his eyes had adjusted somewhat. He’d left the lights off so Adam could sleep. The only light came from the window. It gave the room an eerie glow, with darkness huddled up into the corners where the light didn’t quite reach. The room was tidier than normal, but maybe that’s because he wasn’t there often enough to really mess it up. He didn’t really mind though.
He noticed that the cuffs, the gag and the arm binder were still on the bed. He should probably put those away at some point. Finishing his drink, he set the glass on the nearest flat surface and went to put the toys away. He did think it was a little pathetic he’d bothered to bring quite so many of them down to Melbourne, especially the ones he only wanted to use on Adam. He gathered up the arm binder, loosely doing up the ties and buckles, before folding it in half and placing it back in its case.
He picked up the cuffs next. He loved these ones. They were leather and soft and gorgeous to wear with a short chain between them. He glanced over at Adam again, seeing his wrists lying there in plain view just waiting to be restrained. Wil couldn’t help himself. He climbed on the bed as gently as he could and lay down beside Adam. As carefully as he was able, he secured the cuffs to Adam’s wrists, giving both his hands a soft kiss.
Then there was just the gag left. He supposed he ought to clean it before he put it away. With a sigh he grabbed the gag and wandered towards the bathroom. He stopped in the doorway, staring at the gag. He could still see Adam wearing it. He wanted to kiss him again, but didn’t want to wake him. Adam was seriously fucking with his sanity. He knew full-well Adam didn’t want him that way. They fucked and played around, sure, but Adam didn’t love him. It was just sex games. Why did he keep thinking Adam would fall for him? It was a question Wil couldn’t answer.
He turned once again to leaning against the wall, staring at Adam sleeping, the gag clutched in one hand. They were so alike, yet total opposites. Wil sometimes mused that he was Adam’s dark side, his shadow, and that Adam somehow made up for the crap that he got away with. Wil was somehow allowed to do all the stuff Adam didn’t want to do. Yet no matter what he did, Wil could never scare Adam away for good. Even when he was high and completely off his face, Adam was still there to catch him. He never said anything, never judged him, even though Wil knew he disapproved.
He gazed at the gag again. Just staring at it was enough to make him want him. Maybe he wouldn’t wash it after all, just so he could savour the moment. Adam stirring caught Wil’s attention. How long had he been asleep? Wil didn’t know; he’d lost track of time.
“Hey, what’d you do to me, bitch?” Adam murmured as he woke, tugging on the cuffs.
“Couldn’t help myself. You looked so beautiful sleeping there like that,” Wil said.
“Have you slept at all?” Adam sat up in bed, watching Wil on the other side of the room.
“No. Not tired.”
“Still got the gag, I see.”
“Oh, yeah. Just admiring it. You looked gorgeous in it, you know. I want to kiss you again.”
“Don’t. Just get me out of these cuffs so I can sleep. Try and get some yourself. You look like you could do with some rest.”
“Nah, I’ll be fine. Do I have to let you out of the cuffs?” Wil did his best puppy dog eyes.
“Yeah, you do. I’m not in a submissive mood anymore, so don’t get me mad.”
“Alright then. Can I at least gag you one last time?”
“No. And that’s my gag, by the way, so I’ll have it back, thank you.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“What makes you say that?”
“Just the way you’re talking to me, that’s all, as if I’ve done something wrong. If you’re mad at me, just say so.”
“I’m not mad at you. Annoyed that you cuffed me while I was asleep, but not mad at you.”
“Is it because I said I wanted to kiss you again?”
“It’s not that.”
“So you are mad at me then. What did I do wrong, Mr Perfect?”
“For the last time, I’m not mad at you. Now get me out of these cuffs.”
Wil wanted to argue with him, but Adam’s tone made it clear he didn’t want to discuss it further. He gave up and took the cuffs off him. He set the cuffs on the bedside table and left Adam to sleep, taking the gag with him to wash it. He thought of nothing as he washed it. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to sleep or not, but then he wasn’t sure of a lot of things. He left the cleaned and dried gag next to the cuffs and went to sit on the balcony.
“I hate you one day and love you the next. I’m gagged by my own cowardice, otherwise I’d tell you a thousand times over how much I want you. Why the fuck do you have to be so perfect?” Wil muttered to himself as he huddled against the balcony railing, cold but unfazed by the wind.
Wil didn’t sleep. His head was too busy thinking about everything. Adam coming out to wrap a blanket around him hours later woke him from his meditation. He glanced over at Adam as he sat beside him.
“I thought I told you to get some sleep,” Adam said, a half smile on his lips.
“Couldn’t. Too much thinking again,” Wil said.
“That’s become a bad habit of yours. Too much thinking will make your head explode,” Adam said, and Wil knew he was joking.
“I’ll always be your shadow. You’ll always be better than me.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Because I’m a coward and you’re perfect.”
“I’m not perfect. You of all people should know that.”
“I think you’re perfect.” Wil said it almost shyly, avoiding his eyes.
Adam didn’t reply. Wil was scared he’d figured it all out. “Why can’t you say what you want to say to me?”
That took Wil by surprise. He wasn’t expecting Adam to say that. He just stared at him blankly, unable to think of anything to say.
“Is it that hard to say, Anderson?”
“If I say anything else, I’ll lose you. Be happy with Hamish,” Wil managed to say.
“Are you in love with me?” Adam sounded remarkably calm, Wil thought.
“I’m not saying anything else. Just leave me be,” Wil said, refusing to answer him.
“I won’t be mad if you are. You know it can’t happen, right?”
“Don’t say anything else. Just leave it.” Wil turned away from him, hugging his knees close to his chest.
Adam persisted, wrapping his arms around him and leaning his head against his shoulder. “Do you want this to stop?” Adam said, and Wil knew exactly what he was referring to.
“No. I don’t know. I’m not sure.” Wil’s lack of confidence didn’t exactly help matters.
“Well, get back to me when you are sure. Now come inside. You’re freezing.”
Wil let himself be led back inside. Adam insisted on tucking him up in bed to try and warm him up. Adam lay beside him, stroking his cheek softly.
“I’m such a fucking mess. I don’t deserve you,” Wil said.
Adam smiled at him, brushing his thumb across his lip. “Yes you do.” Adam kissed him, cupping his cheek softly. It wasn’t a heated kiss, but delicate and slow. Wil wanted to cry. He didn’t think he’d ever experienced a kiss so full of tender affection before. But he soon wasn’t thinking at all as he lost himself in Adam all over again and he realised he never wanted this to end.
Author: Sashataakheru
Fandom: AusComedy
Characters: Wil Anderson, Adam Hills
Pairings: Adam/Wil, implied Adam/Hamish
Prompt: #35 Ball Gags for
50kinkyways Word Count: 1,529
Warnings: angst, swearing, boykissing, bondage toys.
Rating: FRM
Disclaimer: I don’t know them, not associated with them, just a slashy fangirl admirer with a very active imagination.
Table: http://wolfanfics.livejournal.com/10809.html
Progress: 15/50
Author's Notes/Summary: Sequel to Where’s My Slave? and includes masses of Wil angst, the poor dear. *pets him*
Shadow
“God, you are such a moron,” Wil chastised himself. Adam was asleep, but Wil wasn’t tired. He was annoyed at himself for almost revealing how he really felt about Adam. Not that he’d actually said it straight out, it had been rather thinly disguised, and Adam looked like he was too dazed in happiness to really get what he’d said, but still. Adam was getting to him and he didn’t like it. He knew Adam only wanted Hamish; why did he persist with this stupid infatuation?
He was standing by the window, looking out at the city. Well, the door to the balcony that doubled as a window. It was well into the early hours of the morning. Wil didn’t care what the time was. He’d raided the minibar once he knew Adam was asleep, although one could argue he probably didn’t need any more alcohol, but that thought never crossed his mind.
He turned and leant against the wall, unable to take his eyes off Adam’s sleeping figure. It was dark, but his eyes had adjusted somewhat. He’d left the lights off so Adam could sleep. The only light came from the window. It gave the room an eerie glow, with darkness huddled up into the corners where the light didn’t quite reach. The room was tidier than normal, but maybe that’s because he wasn’t there often enough to really mess it up. He didn’t really mind though.
He noticed that the cuffs, the gag and the arm binder were still on the bed. He should probably put those away at some point. Finishing his drink, he set the glass on the nearest flat surface and went to put the toys away. He did think it was a little pathetic he’d bothered to bring quite so many of them down to Melbourne, especially the ones he only wanted to use on Adam. He gathered up the arm binder, loosely doing up the ties and buckles, before folding it in half and placing it back in its case.
He picked up the cuffs next. He loved these ones. They were leather and soft and gorgeous to wear with a short chain between them. He glanced over at Adam again, seeing his wrists lying there in plain view just waiting to be restrained. Wil couldn’t help himself. He climbed on the bed as gently as he could and lay down beside Adam. As carefully as he was able, he secured the cuffs to Adam’s wrists, giving both his hands a soft kiss.
Then there was just the gag left. He supposed he ought to clean it before he put it away. With a sigh he grabbed the gag and wandered towards the bathroom. He stopped in the doorway, staring at the gag. He could still see Adam wearing it. He wanted to kiss him again, but didn’t want to wake him. Adam was seriously fucking with his sanity. He knew full-well Adam didn’t want him that way. They fucked and played around, sure, but Adam didn’t love him. It was just sex games. Why did he keep thinking Adam would fall for him? It was a question Wil couldn’t answer.
He turned once again to leaning against the wall, staring at Adam sleeping, the gag clutched in one hand. They were so alike, yet total opposites. Wil sometimes mused that he was Adam’s dark side, his shadow, and that Adam somehow made up for the crap that he got away with. Wil was somehow allowed to do all the stuff Adam didn’t want to do. Yet no matter what he did, Wil could never scare Adam away for good. Even when he was high and completely off his face, Adam was still there to catch him. He never said anything, never judged him, even though Wil knew he disapproved.
He gazed at the gag again. Just staring at it was enough to make him want him. Maybe he wouldn’t wash it after all, just so he could savour the moment. Adam stirring caught Wil’s attention. How long had he been asleep? Wil didn’t know; he’d lost track of time.
“Hey, what’d you do to me, bitch?” Adam murmured as he woke, tugging on the cuffs.
“Couldn’t help myself. You looked so beautiful sleeping there like that,” Wil said.
“Have you slept at all?” Adam sat up in bed, watching Wil on the other side of the room.
“No. Not tired.”
“Still got the gag, I see.”
“Oh, yeah. Just admiring it. You looked gorgeous in it, you know. I want to kiss you again.”
“Don’t. Just get me out of these cuffs so I can sleep. Try and get some yourself. You look like you could do with some rest.”
“Nah, I’ll be fine. Do I have to let you out of the cuffs?” Wil did his best puppy dog eyes.
“Yeah, you do. I’m not in a submissive mood anymore, so don’t get me mad.”
“Alright then. Can I at least gag you one last time?”
“No. And that’s my gag, by the way, so I’ll have it back, thank you.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“What makes you say that?”
“Just the way you’re talking to me, that’s all, as if I’ve done something wrong. If you’re mad at me, just say so.”
“I’m not mad at you. Annoyed that you cuffed me while I was asleep, but not mad at you.”
“Is it because I said I wanted to kiss you again?”
“It’s not that.”
“So you are mad at me then. What did I do wrong, Mr Perfect?”
“For the last time, I’m not mad at you. Now get me out of these cuffs.”
Wil wanted to argue with him, but Adam’s tone made it clear he didn’t want to discuss it further. He gave up and took the cuffs off him. He set the cuffs on the bedside table and left Adam to sleep, taking the gag with him to wash it. He thought of nothing as he washed it. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to sleep or not, but then he wasn’t sure of a lot of things. He left the cleaned and dried gag next to the cuffs and went to sit on the balcony.
“I hate you one day and love you the next. I’m gagged by my own cowardice, otherwise I’d tell you a thousand times over how much I want you. Why the fuck do you have to be so perfect?” Wil muttered to himself as he huddled against the balcony railing, cold but unfazed by the wind.
Wil didn’t sleep. His head was too busy thinking about everything. Adam coming out to wrap a blanket around him hours later woke him from his meditation. He glanced over at Adam as he sat beside him.
“I thought I told you to get some sleep,” Adam said, a half smile on his lips.
“Couldn’t. Too much thinking again,” Wil said.
“That’s become a bad habit of yours. Too much thinking will make your head explode,” Adam said, and Wil knew he was joking.
“I’ll always be your shadow. You’ll always be better than me.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Because I’m a coward and you’re perfect.”
“I’m not perfect. You of all people should know that.”
“I think you’re perfect.” Wil said it almost shyly, avoiding his eyes.
Adam didn’t reply. Wil was scared he’d figured it all out. “Why can’t you say what you want to say to me?”
That took Wil by surprise. He wasn’t expecting Adam to say that. He just stared at him blankly, unable to think of anything to say.
“Is it that hard to say, Anderson?”
“If I say anything else, I’ll lose you. Be happy with Hamish,” Wil managed to say.
“Are you in love with me?” Adam sounded remarkably calm, Wil thought.
“I’m not saying anything else. Just leave me be,” Wil said, refusing to answer him.
“I won’t be mad if you are. You know it can’t happen, right?”
“Don’t say anything else. Just leave it.” Wil turned away from him, hugging his knees close to his chest.
Adam persisted, wrapping his arms around him and leaning his head against his shoulder. “Do you want this to stop?” Adam said, and Wil knew exactly what he was referring to.
“No. I don’t know. I’m not sure.” Wil’s lack of confidence didn’t exactly help matters.
“Well, get back to me when you are sure. Now come inside. You’re freezing.”
Wil let himself be led back inside. Adam insisted on tucking him up in bed to try and warm him up. Adam lay beside him, stroking his cheek softly.
“I’m such a fucking mess. I don’t deserve you,” Wil said.
Adam smiled at him, brushing his thumb across his lip. “Yes you do.” Adam kissed him, cupping his cheek softly. It wasn’t a heated kiss, but delicate and slow. Wil wanted to cry. He didn’t think he’d ever experienced a kiss so full of tender affection before. But he soon wasn’t thinking at all as he lost himself in Adam all over again and he realised he never wanted this to end.