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wolfanficsTitle: Confusion
Author: Sashataakheru
Fandom: Admish meets The Chaser
Characters: Adam/Hamish
Word Count: 1,608
Warnings: hurt/comfort, implied violence
Rating: FRAO
Disclaimer: I don’t know them, not associated with them, just a slashy fangirl admirer with a very active imagination.
Author's Notes/Summary: Here are my strange ideas about the Firth persona being the cover-up fora submissive feminised little pain slut a timid, introverted little buttercup. Follow-on/Sequel from Submission/Domination/Suppression. Apologies for any weird sunrise times. Let’s pretend this is a weird AU and it works this way. Or the Sun just got up really early that day.
Confusion
I wake up a few hours later, troubling images in my head. My dreams aren’t sweet tonight, in spite of Adam’s words. Lying there in the dark, I can see my dreams flashing across my mind, and I don’t like them one bit. Adam’s domming again, but I’m cowering in fear. I’m not loving it like I usually do. He turns into this monster and chases me into a dark forest. I climb up a tree, trying to escape, trying to fight the instincts in my body that’s really enjoying this.
I’ve never been one for hardcore bondage. It’s too extreme for me. I want domination, sure, but I don’t want to be beaten and whipped. It’s too much to cope with, especially with Adam.
And then there’s Charlie…
Adam brought Charlie home tonight. I didn’t know I’d find her kneeling at the foot of the bed, my place, when I got home. A feminised sub, possibly a pain slut, going by what she asked for. She’s so very different to me. How is it Adam’s turned on by both of us? Should I be scared that he likes sluts like Charlie to play with? I mean, I love Adam with all my heart, but I just don’t understand this.
I think I recognise Charlie too, and that scares me even more. I’m sure I’ve seen him on TV maybe. The Chaser springs to mind. Wait… Yes, I do know him. Firth, isn’t it? I think so. I’ve never met him, though, so I’m not certain. This world is starting to get scary. Charlie’s Master sounds like someone I don’t want to mess with. I’m not sure I like this at all. Can I forgive him for this? Is this even the sort of thing one should be forgiven for? Adam seemed to really enjoy himself. Should I be scared by that? Does he want this from me as well?
I get up out of bed and leave the bedroom. I need some air to clear my thoughts. I head over to the kitchen. I need some coffee or something. I turn on the kitchen light and try not to wake Adam. I lean against the bench as I wait for the kettle to boil. I notice the time on the microwave: 4:34am. Is there any point going back to bed? I’ll only have to get up again in a couple of hours. My mind’s too busy to want to sleep. I haven’t had enough sleep, but I’ll manage. I’ll just have to load up on Red Bull before I leave.
I make my coffee and some breakfast and wander over to the dining table to eat. Too early for any good TV yet, and I don’t want to make too much noise. Adam gets grumpy if he’s woken before 8am.
So… how to pass the time? Perhaps a walk. Get me out of the house. The morning air will do me good, I think. I get bored when I’m shut in on my own. Well, I’m not technically alone, but I’m not waking Adam just because I’m bored. I’m not risking his punishments.
I finish my breakfast and quietly enter the bedroom again to change. I grab my clothes and shoes and leave again, dressing out in the living room. Once I’m ready, I grab my keys and leave, heading out to walk around the streets for an hour or so. Give my brain a good dose of fresh air.
It’s fucking cold out here for summer, though the air will warm quickly as the sun rises. Always does. The sun hasn’t been up long, though it’s hard to tell from down here. There are a few cars around too. It’s very quiet, for some reason.
I try to clear my head, but honestly, the only thing I can think about is what happened with Charlie. I’m not sure why it bothers me so much. Well, Adam did bring home someone else to play with. He just… changed. He became someone I didn’t know he could be. And I let him fuck her too. Should I have let it go that far? Or should I have just stopped it before it had even begun? What the fuck should you do in a situation like that?
And he whipped her too. Her? Who am I kidding, I know it’s a man. It’s odd. It’s a very odd thing to want, to be feminised and hurt like that. What kind of a man wants that? I mean, it’s not the sort of domination I want from Adam. It’s not pain or humiliation I want from Adam, it’s something more. It’s hard to articulate. I want him to look after me, to guide me. I don’t want him to be cruel to me.
But that’s what I saw him being to Charlie. He was cruel and selfish. I’ve never seen him like that before. I didn’t know he could be like that. I feel like him bringing Charlie home to play with is him telling me I’m not what he wants. I’m not what he’s looking for in a sub. And if I’m not what he wants, why didn’t he tell me this? Why just surprise me with a sub like this out of the blue and expect me to be ok with it, especially when I see him whipping her rather harshly? There were red marks all over her back. I can’t imagine how badly that hurt.
I’ll have to talk with him about this today, if possible. I don’t know if I can just forgive this so easily. I need to understand why he did this. I feel used, like he asked me to come home just so I could watch him do that. He knows it’s not something I’m comfortable with. I’ve told him this many times. Why did he do that? He scared me. For the first time in our relationship, I was actually scared of him. Clearly, there are things we need to work out.
I’m not really noticing where I’m walking, just that I’m moving. I’m shaken out of my thoughts when I find myself back where I started. I find myself automatically walking up to his flat, I’ve done this so many times I don’t have to think about it anymore. I go to let myself back in when I see someone sleeping at the foot of the door. It’s not immediately clear who it is. I kneel in front of them and lift their head up. I see Charlie sleeping there, sending shivers down my spine. What’s he doing back here?
“Charlie? Charlie are you ok?” I say, trying to rouse him.
He looks pretty beaten up. I stand and open the door, stepping over him into the flat to drag him inside. I can see the faintest traces of blood on the floor where he had been sleeping. I don’t like that one bit. He’s too heavy to lift myself. I’ll have to get Adam to help me. He’ll hate being woken early, but I can’t just leave him there. I need his help here. I manage to get him inside the flat before I close the door and go to wake Adam up.
I open the door, poking my head in. He’s still asleep, as I imagined he would be. I quietly walk in and kick my shoes off before I cuddle up next to him. If I have to wake him, I’m not going to be harsh about it.
“Adam, come on baby, wake up now,” I whisper.
He groans and rolls over. I don’t give up, shaking him as much as I dare, knowing he’ll be mad when he realises I’ve woken him early.
“Come on, Adam. There’s something you really need to see. Oh, come on, Adam. Don’t be stubborn,” I say, getting annoyed at his ability to still be asleep when I really need him to be awake.
“C’n be tha’ imp’tnt. Lemme sleep,” I hear him mumble.
“Adam, please, it’s Charlie. He’s here. He was sleeping by the door. Looks pretty beat up too. Come on, I need your help here,” I say, hoping the sense of urgency in my voice will at least convince him I’m serious.
“Charlie? Can’t you deal with it? Too early,” he says, sounding slightly more awake than he had before.
“Get up! I can’t carry him by myself. He’s bleeding. Come on, Adam, get up already,” I say.
“Bleeding? You serious?” he says, suddenly paying me his full attention. Saying someone’s bleeding will do that to you.
“Would I lie about this just to get you up early?” I say.
“Oh, alright, fine,” he says.
Soon enough, he’s helping me lift Charlie onto the couch. He’s still out cold. I’m scared. Adam takes a look at where the blood’s coming from, though I notice he doesn’t pull back the clothes to reveal the wounds. I wonder what on earth happened to him.
“We-we’ll just let him rest. When he wakes – he can tell us what happened then,” Adam says.
I don’t like the hesitation in his voice. What does he know that he’s not telling me? “What about the bleeding?” I say, trying to prod him to tell me what he knows.
“I wouldn’t want to hurt him. He’ll be fine, I’m sure,” he says quickly, but I don’t believe him.
I back off, seeing the protective look in his eyes. Is there fear too? Whatever it is, he doesn’t want me pressing him further. I suppose I’ll find out eventually. I leave him with Charlie to make coffee. I stand in the kitchen, watching Adam perched on the couch next to him.
Author: Sashataakheru
Fandom: Admish meets The Chaser
Characters: Adam/Hamish
Word Count: 1,608
Warnings: hurt/comfort, implied violence
Rating: FRAO
Disclaimer: I don’t know them, not associated with them, just a slashy fangirl admirer with a very active imagination.
Author's Notes/Summary: Here are my strange ideas about the Firth persona being the cover-up for
Confusion
I wake up a few hours later, troubling images in my head. My dreams aren’t sweet tonight, in spite of Adam’s words. Lying there in the dark, I can see my dreams flashing across my mind, and I don’t like them one bit. Adam’s domming again, but I’m cowering in fear. I’m not loving it like I usually do. He turns into this monster and chases me into a dark forest. I climb up a tree, trying to escape, trying to fight the instincts in my body that’s really enjoying this.
I’ve never been one for hardcore bondage. It’s too extreme for me. I want domination, sure, but I don’t want to be beaten and whipped. It’s too much to cope with, especially with Adam.
And then there’s Charlie…
Adam brought Charlie home tonight. I didn’t know I’d find her kneeling at the foot of the bed, my place, when I got home. A feminised sub, possibly a pain slut, going by what she asked for. She’s so very different to me. How is it Adam’s turned on by both of us? Should I be scared that he likes sluts like Charlie to play with? I mean, I love Adam with all my heart, but I just don’t understand this.
I think I recognise Charlie too, and that scares me even more. I’m sure I’ve seen him on TV maybe. The Chaser springs to mind. Wait… Yes, I do know him. Firth, isn’t it? I think so. I’ve never met him, though, so I’m not certain. This world is starting to get scary. Charlie’s Master sounds like someone I don’t want to mess with. I’m not sure I like this at all. Can I forgive him for this? Is this even the sort of thing one should be forgiven for? Adam seemed to really enjoy himself. Should I be scared by that? Does he want this from me as well?
I get up out of bed and leave the bedroom. I need some air to clear my thoughts. I head over to the kitchen. I need some coffee or something. I turn on the kitchen light and try not to wake Adam. I lean against the bench as I wait for the kettle to boil. I notice the time on the microwave: 4:34am. Is there any point going back to bed? I’ll only have to get up again in a couple of hours. My mind’s too busy to want to sleep. I haven’t had enough sleep, but I’ll manage. I’ll just have to load up on Red Bull before I leave.
I make my coffee and some breakfast and wander over to the dining table to eat. Too early for any good TV yet, and I don’t want to make too much noise. Adam gets grumpy if he’s woken before 8am.
So… how to pass the time? Perhaps a walk. Get me out of the house. The morning air will do me good, I think. I get bored when I’m shut in on my own. Well, I’m not technically alone, but I’m not waking Adam just because I’m bored. I’m not risking his punishments.
I finish my breakfast and quietly enter the bedroom again to change. I grab my clothes and shoes and leave again, dressing out in the living room. Once I’m ready, I grab my keys and leave, heading out to walk around the streets for an hour or so. Give my brain a good dose of fresh air.
It’s fucking cold out here for summer, though the air will warm quickly as the sun rises. Always does. The sun hasn’t been up long, though it’s hard to tell from down here. There are a few cars around too. It’s very quiet, for some reason.
I try to clear my head, but honestly, the only thing I can think about is what happened with Charlie. I’m not sure why it bothers me so much. Well, Adam did bring home someone else to play with. He just… changed. He became someone I didn’t know he could be. And I let him fuck her too. Should I have let it go that far? Or should I have just stopped it before it had even begun? What the fuck should you do in a situation like that?
And he whipped her too. Her? Who am I kidding, I know it’s a man. It’s odd. It’s a very odd thing to want, to be feminised and hurt like that. What kind of a man wants that? I mean, it’s not the sort of domination I want from Adam. It’s not pain or humiliation I want from Adam, it’s something more. It’s hard to articulate. I want him to look after me, to guide me. I don’t want him to be cruel to me.
But that’s what I saw him being to Charlie. He was cruel and selfish. I’ve never seen him like that before. I didn’t know he could be like that. I feel like him bringing Charlie home to play with is him telling me I’m not what he wants. I’m not what he’s looking for in a sub. And if I’m not what he wants, why didn’t he tell me this? Why just surprise me with a sub like this out of the blue and expect me to be ok with it, especially when I see him whipping her rather harshly? There were red marks all over her back. I can’t imagine how badly that hurt.
I’ll have to talk with him about this today, if possible. I don’t know if I can just forgive this so easily. I need to understand why he did this. I feel used, like he asked me to come home just so I could watch him do that. He knows it’s not something I’m comfortable with. I’ve told him this many times. Why did he do that? He scared me. For the first time in our relationship, I was actually scared of him. Clearly, there are things we need to work out.
I’m not really noticing where I’m walking, just that I’m moving. I’m shaken out of my thoughts when I find myself back where I started. I find myself automatically walking up to his flat, I’ve done this so many times I don’t have to think about it anymore. I go to let myself back in when I see someone sleeping at the foot of the door. It’s not immediately clear who it is. I kneel in front of them and lift their head up. I see Charlie sleeping there, sending shivers down my spine. What’s he doing back here?
“Charlie? Charlie are you ok?” I say, trying to rouse him.
He looks pretty beaten up. I stand and open the door, stepping over him into the flat to drag him inside. I can see the faintest traces of blood on the floor where he had been sleeping. I don’t like that one bit. He’s too heavy to lift myself. I’ll have to get Adam to help me. He’ll hate being woken early, but I can’t just leave him there. I need his help here. I manage to get him inside the flat before I close the door and go to wake Adam up.
I open the door, poking my head in. He’s still asleep, as I imagined he would be. I quietly walk in and kick my shoes off before I cuddle up next to him. If I have to wake him, I’m not going to be harsh about it.
“Adam, come on baby, wake up now,” I whisper.
He groans and rolls over. I don’t give up, shaking him as much as I dare, knowing he’ll be mad when he realises I’ve woken him early.
“Come on, Adam. There’s something you really need to see. Oh, come on, Adam. Don’t be stubborn,” I say, getting annoyed at his ability to still be asleep when I really need him to be awake.
“C’n be tha’ imp’tnt. Lemme sleep,” I hear him mumble.
“Adam, please, it’s Charlie. He’s here. He was sleeping by the door. Looks pretty beat up too. Come on, I need your help here,” I say, hoping the sense of urgency in my voice will at least convince him I’m serious.
“Charlie? Can’t you deal with it? Too early,” he says, sounding slightly more awake than he had before.
“Get up! I can’t carry him by myself. He’s bleeding. Come on, Adam, get up already,” I say.
“Bleeding? You serious?” he says, suddenly paying me his full attention. Saying someone’s bleeding will do that to you.
“Would I lie about this just to get you up early?” I say.
“Oh, alright, fine,” he says.
Soon enough, he’s helping me lift Charlie onto the couch. He’s still out cold. I’m scared. Adam takes a look at where the blood’s coming from, though I notice he doesn’t pull back the clothes to reveal the wounds. I wonder what on earth happened to him.
“We-we’ll just let him rest. When he wakes – he can tell us what happened then,” Adam says.
I don’t like the hesitation in his voice. What does he know that he’s not telling me? “What about the bleeding?” I say, trying to prod him to tell me what he knows.
“I wouldn’t want to hurt him. He’ll be fine, I’m sure,” he says quickly, but I don’t believe him.
I back off, seeing the protective look in his eyes. Is there fear too? Whatever it is, he doesn’t want me pressing him further. I suppose I’ll find out eventually. I leave him with Charlie to make coffee. I stand in the kitchen, watching Adam perched on the couch next to him.
