![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolfanficsTITLE: A Very Specky Night
AUTHOR: sashataakheru
FANDOM: AusComedy
PAIRINGS: Adam Hills/Hamish Blake
WORDS: 758
PART: 3/4
PREVIOUS: One | Two |
DISCLAIMER: I don’t know them, not associated with them, just a slashy fangirl admirer with a very active imagination.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Inspired by that kiss on the Spicks & Specks Christmas Special in 2005.
SUMMARY: An unexpected kiss brings Adam and Hamish together.
Part Three:
Adam cries alone for a long time. The minutes slowly pass into hours. Darkness falls and the sun rises again. When he can’t cry any more, he turns on himself, quite convinced it’s all his fault he pushed Hamish away. He wants someone – anyone – to come and tell him he did nothing wrong. But, no one comes. No one comes to make him happy. He waits for any sign that Hamish is coming back to him. He loses faith as the days increase. Even after the Christmas special airs, there isn’t a word from him. He didn’t watch it. He didn’t want to see them kissing again. He knew that would hurt too much. Dejectedly, Adam gives up on him. Someone else is slowly taking his place.
Adam doesn’t know, but Hamish is as plagued by doubt and fear as he is, wondering if they can ever have anything together, whether they can ever love each other. But, he figures Adam must’ve moved on. He’s heard talk about him having someone else in his life. So, he resigns himself to wondering what might’ve been, pushing the time they spent together deep into his mind.
Time passes, and they both get on with their lives. Spicks and Specks starts up again, filling Adam’s life up. He thinks nothing of Hamish until the second show. He’d forgotten he’d asked him to be on that night. Suddenly, the nerves fire up, and he wonders how he’ll cope with them being in such close proximity for such a long time. Before he even arrives at the studio, he spends a good hour trying to calm himself down.
When he does arrive, he tries to avoid seeing him until it’s absolutely necessary. When Hamish sees him, he’s torn between going to talk to him, and not saying a thing. They both happen to bump into each other backstage, and suddenly being together again makes them both uncomfortable.
“Adam. Hi,” Hamish says.
Adam looks at him, wanting to be nice and all, but still angry with him for leaving him alone. “What the fuck did I do wrong?” he says, his voice quiet.
“It wasn’t you. I… I had to sort myself out,” Hamish says, dismissively.
“Sure you fucking did. I can see what decision you made.”
“No, it’s not like that. God, do you know how many times I wanted to call you, to just … be with you again? But, no, you’re too selfish to see that,” Hamish says.
Selfish? Adam is quite sure he isn’t selfish. “You left me, under some pretence that you needed to sort yourself out. I waited. You never returned to me. What was I supposed to think? I gave up on you, and now you’ve lost me. I hope you’re happy now,” Adam says angrily.
“You didn’t have to choose! You didn’t have to spend a whole lot of sleepless nights wondering who you really loved!” Hamish says.
Adam turns away from him, fuming. Like he didn’t go through the same thing.
“Adam, please, I’m sorry if I hurt you. I was scared. Terrified, actually. With you, it was something I’d never even thought about before. I didn’t know what to do. I had a lot to think about. Maybe you don’t understand how hard it was for me to deal with,” Hamish says, his anger waning.
Adam spins around, staring at Hamish. “I don’t care. Just don’t bring it up tonight, alright? Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” he says.
Hamish lowers his head, hurt by Adam’s words. Adam leaves, wanting to get rid of his anger before he goes out there. Hamish stays back for a moment, wondering what had changed Adam so much.
They see each other after the taping, both hanging around the studio after everyone else has left. Adam sits on the stage, his hands holding his face. Hamish approaches from the back, watching him silently. In the eerily silent room, Hamish can hear Adam speaking quietly to himself.
“I should never have done that, should never have kissed him. I knew he’d never accept me. Why do I even bother?” he says with a sigh.
Hamish thinks about approaching him, but turns and leaves, realising what he has to do. It won’t be pretty, it won’t be painless, but seeing him sitting there looking so morose, so unlike how he’d been on camera, Hamish knows who he wants to be with. He isn’t afraid anymore. He’s just annoyed it took him so long to work it out.
AUTHOR: sashataakheru
FANDOM: AusComedy
PAIRINGS: Adam Hills/Hamish Blake
WORDS: 758
PART: 3/4
PREVIOUS: One | Two |
DISCLAIMER: I don’t know them, not associated with them, just a slashy fangirl admirer with a very active imagination.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Inspired by that kiss on the Spicks & Specks Christmas Special in 2005.
SUMMARY: An unexpected kiss brings Adam and Hamish together.
Part Three:
Adam cries alone for a long time. The minutes slowly pass into hours. Darkness falls and the sun rises again. When he can’t cry any more, he turns on himself, quite convinced it’s all his fault he pushed Hamish away. He wants someone – anyone – to come and tell him he did nothing wrong. But, no one comes. No one comes to make him happy. He waits for any sign that Hamish is coming back to him. He loses faith as the days increase. Even after the Christmas special airs, there isn’t a word from him. He didn’t watch it. He didn’t want to see them kissing again. He knew that would hurt too much. Dejectedly, Adam gives up on him. Someone else is slowly taking his place.
Adam doesn’t know, but Hamish is as plagued by doubt and fear as he is, wondering if they can ever have anything together, whether they can ever love each other. But, he figures Adam must’ve moved on. He’s heard talk about him having someone else in his life. So, he resigns himself to wondering what might’ve been, pushing the time they spent together deep into his mind.
Time passes, and they both get on with their lives. Spicks and Specks starts up again, filling Adam’s life up. He thinks nothing of Hamish until the second show. He’d forgotten he’d asked him to be on that night. Suddenly, the nerves fire up, and he wonders how he’ll cope with them being in such close proximity for such a long time. Before he even arrives at the studio, he spends a good hour trying to calm himself down.
When he does arrive, he tries to avoid seeing him until it’s absolutely necessary. When Hamish sees him, he’s torn between going to talk to him, and not saying a thing. They both happen to bump into each other backstage, and suddenly being together again makes them both uncomfortable.
“Adam. Hi,” Hamish says.
Adam looks at him, wanting to be nice and all, but still angry with him for leaving him alone. “What the fuck did I do wrong?” he says, his voice quiet.
“It wasn’t you. I… I had to sort myself out,” Hamish says, dismissively.
“Sure you fucking did. I can see what decision you made.”
“No, it’s not like that. God, do you know how many times I wanted to call you, to just … be with you again? But, no, you’re too selfish to see that,” Hamish says.
Selfish? Adam is quite sure he isn’t selfish. “You left me, under some pretence that you needed to sort yourself out. I waited. You never returned to me. What was I supposed to think? I gave up on you, and now you’ve lost me. I hope you’re happy now,” Adam says angrily.
“You didn’t have to choose! You didn’t have to spend a whole lot of sleepless nights wondering who you really loved!” Hamish says.
Adam turns away from him, fuming. Like he didn’t go through the same thing.
“Adam, please, I’m sorry if I hurt you. I was scared. Terrified, actually. With you, it was something I’d never even thought about before. I didn’t know what to do. I had a lot to think about. Maybe you don’t understand how hard it was for me to deal with,” Hamish says, his anger waning.
Adam spins around, staring at Hamish. “I don’t care. Just don’t bring it up tonight, alright? Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” he says.
Hamish lowers his head, hurt by Adam’s words. Adam leaves, wanting to get rid of his anger before he goes out there. Hamish stays back for a moment, wondering what had changed Adam so much.
They see each other after the taping, both hanging around the studio after everyone else has left. Adam sits on the stage, his hands holding his face. Hamish approaches from the back, watching him silently. In the eerily silent room, Hamish can hear Adam speaking quietly to himself.
“I should never have done that, should never have kissed him. I knew he’d never accept me. Why do I even bother?” he says with a sigh.
Hamish thinks about approaching him, but turns and leaves, realising what he has to do. It won’t be pretty, it won’t be painless, but seeing him sitting there looking so morose, so unlike how he’d been on camera, Hamish knows who he wants to be with. He isn’t afraid anymore. He’s just annoyed it took him so long to work it out.
