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wolfanficsTitle: My Mistakes Were Made For You
Author: sashataakheru
Fandom: Australian Comedy/AusComedy
Starring: Wil Anderson, Adam Hills
Pairings: Wil/Adam, implied Adam/Ali McGregor
Rating: FRM
Word Count: 5,500
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I'm in no way associated with the guys involved, and the contents herein should not be taken as fact. Ever.
Prompt: 1631 - RPF - Australian Comedy, Wil Anderson, Sexuality is a fluid thing, right? So why are women becoming less and less attractive and men the only thing you can focus on? for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
lgbtfest 2009
Summary: Wil's ever-changing sexuality isn't so changing anymore, much to Wil's annooyance. It doesn't help that he's been crushing on Adam for years, even though he was always out of reach. When he discovers Adam's not as straight as he'd first assumed, everything changes.
Warnings (if any): real people, sexual situations, coarse language, masturbation.
Author's Notes (if any): Uh, it's the 17th where I am and I have to go to work soon, so I'm posting it now. So, er, enjoy.
My Mistakes Were Made For You
Wil had been perfectly capable of keeping his manly desires in check for most of his adult life. He had learned the hard way when it was safe to flirt with guys and when he was interested in doing so.
He had often thought his sexuality fitted well with his personality. It was laziness combined with uncertainty; his sexuality was not something he could pin down for any more than a day or two. In fact, Wil preferred it this way. Life ebbed and flowed, and so did his desire. It all made perfect sense. Then Adam Hills changed everything.
The problem with Adam, according to Wil, was that he was gay in every aspect apart from wanting to sleep with him. This was a problem precisely because it meant Adam would never be interested in sex with men, no matter how much Wil wanted him. Trust Wil to crush on a straight guy.
Although, if Wil was being honest, Adam wasn't the whole issue. No, Wil was far more concerned that he had, for the first time, gotten stuck on the gay end of the spectrum. It took just one night with Adam to make the problem quite unbearable.
Wil sat at the sad looking Space Invaders arcade game in his lounge room, staring down at the blinking pixels as if they were some sort of divinatory oracle. His pizza was cold. His head was confused.
Adam fucking Hills was asleep on his sofa, a man so infuriatingly attractive, Wil had to pretend his house was much colder than it was to stop Adam stripping off in front of him.
Wil took another unsatisfying bite of his pizza before dropping the slice back in the box. He glared at the screen. "Fat lot of good you are," he murmured.
The game didn't reply. It sat there flashing its programming at him, waiting for him to play and engage with it. It cared not for his problems, nor had it a capacity to understand them.
With a sigh, Wil stood up. Perhaps he should go to bed. In his bedroom. It would save him staring at Adam all night. He remembered to switch off the few lights still on and fell into bed, shoving his clothes off in a half-arsed manner before he crawled into bed. His eyes closed and he wished desperately to forget the night's events.
Since his last relationship had failed, Wil had begged anyone for company, if only so he didn't spend the whole time crying. His friends had been far better to him than Wil thought he deserved, but he was grateful for their attention. It was easier than thinking about dating again. He was no spring chicken, and especially envied Adam's ease with women, and with men.
That Adam flirted with men other than their fellow colleagues was a surprise. Wil had always assumed he was straight. To see him pointing out cute boys in the club they were in was a new development. Wil found himself agreeing, or making his own suggestions. The women in the club had become startingly uninteresting.
"Since when did you start liking guys, Adam?" Wil had asked as they left some time after midnight.
"Since always. I just never felt a need to mention it. I didn't see you complaining. Not in the mood for women, hey?" Adam said.
"Apparently not. I don't think I looked at women all night, just the hot pieces of manflesh you kept pointing out," Wil said.
"I think, perhaps, your dick is trying to tell you something," Adam said.
"Nah, it's just a phase. I'll get over it," Wil said, dismissing the thought. The less complicated the issue was, the easier it was to deal with. At least, that's what Wil kept telling himself.
"You know, I've never really understood your sexuality. I think you're making life far more complicated than it needs to be," Adam said.
"I dunno, it's just how I am. I'd try and explain it, but it might take all night and I'm not sure I've got the energy for that," Wil said.
"Mate, I think what you need is a good hard shagging," Adam said.
They had made it back from the club and fallen onto the sofa. Wil switched the TV on, looking for a distraction. It happened to be on SBS. An episode of Queer As Folk was on, displaying images of sexy half-naked men, gyrating enticingly. Adam raised an eyebrow as he noticed Wil perk up when he saw what was on.
"What the fuck is this?" Adam said.
"Oh, just a show I like. I'll change it," Wil said, reaching for the remote.
"Nah, it's fine. More eye candy to perve at, hey?" Adam said.
"Something like that. These guys are much cuter anyway. I mean, look at that leather," Wil said.
He sat back, trying not to get aroused. The last thing he needed was Adam realising this stuff was like porn to him. His attraction to men wasn't as definite or certain as he sometimes liked to make out. Then again, sometimes it was all he could think about. He wasn't certain it had been the sole reason he'd broken up with his last girlfriend, but he wouldn't have been surprised if it had contributed to it.
"It's okay to like blokes, you know. It's not going to make me freak out," Adam said, resting a reassuring hand on his arm.
"Don't, Adam, please," Wil said.
"What? You alright, mate?" Adam said.
"Just leave it, alright? It's not important," Wil said.
"Alright, fine. Have it your way," Adam said.
Wil sunk back into the couch. He prayed Adam hadn't noticed his surge of arousal as he touched him. No, he wasn't interested in Adam. Not like that. Of all the guys to desire, Adam was strictly in the 'Do Not Touch' list. He tried to ignore the rising feeling in his chest that wanted to goad him into giving in.
Wil didn't like feeling so ashamed at his desire. He felt he shouldn't feel this way, but never quite felt brave enough some days to pull it off. It probably didn't help that he'd never had a public relationship with a man. He'd had a few secretive ones though. Perhaps it was the secretive nature of his experiences in this matter that added to his shame, that he could never bring himself to date a man in public. Maybe all that fame was getting to his head. Wil wasn't entirely known for being gay. Bent out of shape, maybe. A little girly, perhaps. But not gay. That was a label he'd managed to avoid. Maybe having a girlfriend stopped people questioning him.
Adam snuggled up to him then, leaning his head on his shoulder. Wil wrapped an arm around his shoulder out of habit. Whatever he felt for Adam, he had always appreciated Adam's tolerance of his cuddling. They had settled into a level of intimacy that they were both comfortable with. It was something Wil would be forever grateful for. He'd go mad without the sanity of Adam around to keep him on the right path.
Twenty minutes later, things had changed substantially. Adam had merely rested his hand on Wil's thigh, and Wil had given in to the sexual stimulation from the TV, and somehow, Wil was cupping Adam's face as he tried to reconcile his actions with his principles.
"Go on. I know you've wanted to all night," Adam said.
"I'm not even supposed to be doing this. You belong in the 'Don't Touch' basket," Wil said.
"I didn't realise I was that repulsive," Adam said.
"You're not. I just don't want this to ruin things between us. I'm good at screwing up the good things in my life," Wil said. "Look, man, I like you. Have since fuckin' forever. Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I dunno, but I can't see any reason not to," Adam said.
"Usually I'm the one getting us in trouble. Nice to see you taking over for once," Wil said.
"Shut up, will you? You're wrecking the moment," Adam said, tilting his head towards the TV where a similar heated kiss was taking place.
Wil kissed him. It was a strange combination of reality and every dream he'd had about it, all rolled into some strange experience that wasn't really either. There was no spark of electricity, no immense tingling; it was just a kiss. Adam was surprisingly hesitant. Wil wondered how far he could push it before Adam was just repulsed by it. They broke apart slowly, and Wil leant his head against his shoulder, arms loosely closing around Adam's chest.
"You alright?" Adam murmured.
"Sexuality isn't supposed to be this complicated, is it?" Wil said.
"What do you mean exactly?" Adam said.
"It's a fluid thing, I've always believed that, and yet... it's fixed itself in a way I'm not used to. The idea of being with a woman is beginning to sound like something worse than Hell. What's wrong with me?" Wil said.
"You sure this isn't just a phase?" Adam said.
"My phases never feel like this. They never feel so... permanent. I totally blame you for getting me in the mood tonight," Wil said, repressing a smirk.
"Nice to know I'm good for something. If this is too weird, just tell me and I'll back off," Adam said.
"I was going to say the same to you. I mean, I've tended to be the gayer one, haven't I?" Wil said.
"Okay, I admit it. You corrupted me at last," Adam said.
"About bloody time. I've been working on you for ages," Wil said.
"I suppose I should be honoured to have attracted so much of your attention," Adam said.
"You should be. Not everyone's that deserving," Wil said.
Adam kissed him again curiously. Intellectually, he had no objection to being with Wil. He just had no experience actually being with men. He figured Wil would help him if he needed it.
"You know, you don't have to do this," Wil said.
"I know that, Wil, but I want to," Adam said.
That permission was like an aphrodisiac. Will kissed him again, his hands feeling freer to explore as they slipped below Adam's clothing to reach his skin. Adam was surprised at how well he responded to Wil's actions. He didn't even shrink away when Wil's hand slowly unzipped his jeans and slipped inside his pants. By then he was already hard. It seemed to make more sense than to merely leave it and remain frustrated all night.
"Would you touch me? Or am I rushing you?" Wil breathed, glancing down at his very tight pants.
"Nah, you're alright, man. Jus'- show me what to do, yeah?" Adam said.
Wil finally slipped his jeans off, kicking them aside. Adam was gentle. Wil cursed himself for not doing this sooner. Perhaps it ws their drunken state that left them so uninhibited. Indeed, they were both naked soon enough, a fact that sent Wil into even greater heights of arousal. Skin on skin contact was doing nothing to kill his crush on Adam.
They lay together on the couch, Wil curled up as he played with Adam's nipple ring. Wil was easily distracted by shiny things. He was enjoying this chance to show Adam just what he was missing. It was strangely satisfying.
There was no sex, at least Wil wouldn't have called it sex. Mutual handjobs was a better description. Adam writhed under his hands as he rode out his orgasm, Wil not far behind him. Such intimacy was not something Wil would abuse.
The stillness that followed wasn't as awkward as Wil had expected it would be. Adam didn't pull away or shift uncomfortably as Wil cuddled up to him. It was only now that Wil had time to realise what he'd done. Wil got dressed and left it at that.
That was as far as they got. Naked masturbation and a few kisses. It was all Wil could cope with. Adam got dressed and together they sat on the couch again. They'd had a couple more beers, watched some more TV and then Adam had finally fallen asleep, leaving Wil wide awake and unable to sleep. He'd ordered pizza and ate it unenthusiastically. Eventually, he went to sleep. In his bedroom. Away from Adam.
He'd woken first the next morning. Adam was still sprawled on his couch. Wil finished the rest of the pizza. He decided to let Adam sleep as long as he needed and retreated to his study. At least he could find some relative silence there, give him time to think things through.
What if Adam didn't remember last night? Should Wil mention it?
Wil had broken his 'Do Not Touch' rule. It was an important rule; it had capital letters and everything. He had broken it in a thousand different ways so it now lay shattered on the ground, those important capital letters ruined. What if it made things worse between them? Adam wasn't gay, not like he was. Not that Wil was gay either. He was just... It was different. Sexuality is fluid. Wil isn't anything. So why did his sudden attraction to Adam, and to men, confuse him so much?
Wil was stuck. Somehow, someone had made him gay overnight. Wil wasn't used to such one-sided sexuality. At least before, girls were still attractive when he was more interested in boys. Not so now. All he wanted was cock.
Well, he'd certainly gotten it last night. He remembered enough to know it wasn't just a forgivable kiss. There was nakedness, and wanking, and Wil licked that nipple ring of his and made Adam gasp-
Had he pushed Adam too far? What happens now anyway? Should Wil try again? No, of course he shouldn't. Adam would never agree. He had to find someone else to love, get over his feelings for Adam. Yes, that's what he should do. That was the best course of action. Wil was sensible enough to agree that's what he should do. He wasn't sure, however, if that's what he'd actually do.
"Oh, here you are. You've got a few hiding spots here, haven't you?" Adam said, wandering in and interrupting his thoughts.
"Was just thinking," Wil said, remaining seated.
"I gathered that. You alright?" Adam said.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's okay. I suppose you're hungry, then?" Wil said.
"I am, yeah. You didn't save any of that pizza for me, did you?" Adam said.
"Uh, no, sorry. I've got other things to eat though," Wil said.
He got to his feet and they headed back to the kitchen. Adam sat on one of the bar stools while Wil rummaged around in the pantry and the fridge. He probably should've remembered to do a bit of shopping. There wasn't a great selection to choose from.
"Feel like anything in particular?" Wil said.
"I dunno, you got any bacon?" Adam said.
"Adam, this is me you're talking to. Of course I don't have any bacon," Wil said.
"Oh, yeah, that's right. Sorry. Just get me whatever, yeah?" Adam said.
"Sure, you know I'll look after you," Wil said with a half-smile.
Wil improvised as best he could, and soon they sat in front of the TV again, eating their makeshift breakfast. Wil flicked the TV on, just for some background noise, not bothering to change channels. They sat in silence. Wil wondered why they couldn't get away from the bloody couch that had been the site for Wil breaking his most important rule.
"Are you going to be weird about this all day?" Adam said, interrupting a fascinating story in Arabic about a woman and a herd of goats. Neither could work out what was going on, apart from a woman, and a herd of goats. Wil giggled at the smutty jokes in his head.
"Weird about what exactly?" Wil said, though he had a feeling he knew what he was talking about, and the fact that Adam remembered was very much Not Good, with capital letters and all sorts of badness about it.
"You don't remember last night? I do believe we got naked and things happened," Adam said, taunting note in his voice. He wasn't revealing what had happened, though Wil suspected his words meant he knew exactly what had happened.
"I was hoping you wouldn't remember that. It was just another stupid thing I did," Wil admitted.
"You need to stop being so hard on yourself. It was just a kiss," Adam said.
"I'm not supposed to kiss you though. And it was far more than just a kiss, Adam," Wil said.
"So? Is this really a problem? It was nice. Stop trying to convince yourself you know what I'm thinking when I haven't even told you," Adam said.
"It's the principle of the thing. I'm not supposed to touch you that way," Wil said.
"I believe that's your rule, not mine. Why is this such a big issue for you anyway? We fucked around. Worse things have happened," Adam said.
"Cos I shouldn't go around snogging hot drunk comedian mates. It just ends badly," Wil said.
"How do you know it ends badly?" Adam said, turning to face him.
"Why wouldn't it end badly? You're straight, I'm not. End of discussion," Wil said.
"I thought we discussed my not-quite-straightness last night? Or did you forget that? What is it you're really trying to say here?" Adam said.
"I'm not saying anything. I'm not digging myself into an even bigger hole," Wil said. He set his breakfast on the coffee table and curled into the couch, trying to hide away. He was proud of his restraint. In any normal situation, he'd just keep talking and talking until he'd made things ten times worse than they'd been before. Perhaps age had brought some semblance of maturity.
Adam sighed. He clearly wasn't going to get any further with this and gave in. "Alright, you win. I'll leave it. Don't think this is over though. No one gets me off and just drops it, especially not you."
Wil sat back in the couch and sighed. He had a feeling Adam would guilt-trip it out of him eventually. Adam was like that. Wil always found it hard to keep secrets from him. It was just a matter of how long he could resist those kind eyes and that sympathetic smile.
"God I hate you, Adam," Wil muttered.
"I don't believe that's what you said last night," Adam said. "Sorry, I'll stop now."
Wil sighed. He'd hit Adam next if he said anything else. God, he was such an idiot. He couldn't even control himself long enough to leave Adam alone. It was his own fault he'd broken his Very Important Rule and he'd have to deal with the consequences. Just so long as he didn't say anything else he'd be fi-
"If it's any consolation, I really enjoyed it, and even I'm surprised by that," Adam said, breaking Wil's concentration.
Wil looked at him. ""You serious?"
"Yeah. I wasn't expecting that. You're not mad, are you?" Adam said.
"I'm annoyed, because if you just wanted to make out, you know, see how you liked it, why the fuck didn't you just say so? Then I wouldn't be feeling so bad right now," Wil said.
"Uh, I don't believe I thought that far ahead at the time. Besides, it's not easy asking a good friend to, you know, do that, just to see if you like it. It's kinda embarrassing," Adam said.
"You're a dickhead. Just ask me next time, okay?" Wil said.
"I'll remember that," Adam said.
Wil sat in silence the rest of the day. Adam had, thankfully, left. Adam had made him talk a little more, though Wil had become so guarded he hardly revealed anything Adam didn't already know. However, Wil did manage to get Adam to talk some more. Adam wanting to make out with him was a new development he hadn't anticipated and he wanted to make sure Adam was genuine about it, rather than just messing with his head.
Wil was even more surprised Adam hadn't told him. Usually they shared every little detail about their lives. That Adam had kept this secret was annoying, especially because Wil would've been only too happy to have gone along with it. His Very Important Rule didn't count when Adam actually asked him to make out. Every rule has an exception and Wil was glad to have found this one.
Will had avoided telling him he was in love with him, though. He didn't think their relationship needed to be complicated any further. They'd agreed to mess around again, if Adam wanted to. That was the extent of it. Sort of but not quite fuck buddies. Wil had to concede it was better than nothing. He just hoped it wouldn't get weird. He liked Adam too much to let things get weird.
Wil was also glad they hadn't actually had sex. God help him if he ever got pissed and slept with Adam. Kissing was excuseable, hell, even wanking was excuseable if he justified it in the right way. As long as he kept his dick out of Adam's arse, and Adam did likewise, it was all perfectly excuseable. And So Not Gay. It was mutual masterbation and that was entirely acceptable.
Wil had, many times, tried to intellectualise his thing, for lack of a better word, for Adam. It was a mancrush, some form of respect, Adam was just a really, really nice and attractive faux-gay bloke. However, there was always the niggling doubt that these explanations circled around and avoided the main problem, the one Wil had trouble admitting to himself, let alone to Adam. He had tried last night, when they were drunk on the sofa and doing things with their hands they probably shouldn't have been doing, but Wil wasn't sure if Adam remembered that, or even understood what he'd meant.
What sucked the most was that Wil knew full well that Adam was in no position to shack up with him anyway, even if by some miracle the feeling was mutual. Adam had his own relationship, and Wil wasn't quite brave enough to dare break them up purely out of self-interest. That is not the way to go about winning your heart's desire. If only Adam hadn't told him he wasn't as straight as he'd thought he was, he could put all this to bed. But no, that tiny change in his sexuality had just fuelled his lust to soaring levels. It didn't help that Adam had told him he was open to making out again, if the opportunity supplied itself. It was like an open invitation to stick his hand down his pants next time they met. Wil didn't need that sort of temptation, not when Adam was around.
His phone beeped then, and he reached for it habitually. Adam had sent him a message. He'd left his jumper behind and wondered if it was okay to come round and collect it. Wil, reluctant to see him again so soon, sent his permission anyway. Besides, they were both sober now. Nothing bad would happen. Would it?
Adam came around an hour later. Wil had suggested dinner, given the time. Adam had agreed, since he'd just seen his girlfriend off overseas and liked the idea of sharing a meal with one of his mates. Wil grabbed them some beer and ordered Chinese. One day Wil would learn to eat better. Maybe once he'd gotten over this grieving process. They sat on the sofa again and waited.
"She going to be gone long?" Wil asked.
"Yeah, a few weeks," Adam said.
"Well, feel free to come round if you're feeling lonely," Wil said.
"I would've thought that was an offer I should be making to you. I'm not the one who lives alone," Adam said.
"I'm used to it. Well, no, I'm not, but it'll do. Got no other choice, do I?" Wil said.
"The Government isn't forcing you to live alone, Wil. That's your choice," Adam said.
"Stupid Government," Wil said, pouting. He hated that Adam was right, again. He didn't have anyone else to blame but himself. Calling the Government stupid seemed the best response.
"Are you alright? You seem a little..." Adam didn't finish the sentence.
"I didn't say anything to you last night, did I? Something I probably shouldn't have said?" Wil said.
"Worried about drunken confessions you probably shouldn't have made? You didn't decide to tell me you actually do like the company of goats, did you?" Adam said, an amused grin on his face.
"Ahh, no, it wasn't about goats, no. It was, you know, about us. Or you, more specifically," Wil said.
"Have you secretly hated me this whole time and drunkenly decided to tell me in between kisses and handjobs? You do have a strange way of showing affection," Adam said.
"It wasn't that. You don't remember then?" Wil said hopefully. If he didn't remember, he could always lie.
"I remember you telling me you liked me. I didn't realise that was a huge secret," Adam said.
"It is, because I didn't mean it that way. I meant it-" Wil paused. "See, now I'm not sure I should tell you."
"By all means, don't tell me. It's your burden, not mine," Adam said.
The doorbell rang. Adam got up. "I'll get it. You wait here," he said.
Wil stayed where he was, sinking into the sofa, while he watched Adam collect the food that had arrived at his house. He was particularly irritated with his sofa tonight, though he didn't quite know why. Actually, no, he did know why. He'd fucking mauled Adam there the night before, that's why. He watched Adam head over to the front door and collect their meal. He returned with a bag full of plastic boxes.
"Honestly, if you're going to sit there pouting all evening, I'll go home. Would it kill you to stop moping?" Adam said, setting the food down on the coffee table.
"I love you. It's about time I told you that. You can still go if you want. I'll be fine," Wil said, speaking before his brain had quite figured out if it was as good an idea as it had seemed a moment earlier.
"You love me? Okay, I know you. Clarify what you mean by that," Adam said, sitting down next to him.
"How else do you think I mean it?" Wil said. Shit. Now he really had dug himself a hole. How is it he could manage to avoid trouble when hung over, but now that he was sober, he was willing and ready to dig himself a hole all the way to China?
"It was just a kiss, Wil. It's not that big an issue. Since when did love come into it?" Adam said.
"Since always. Since forever. Since I first met you. Jesus, I'm pathetic," Wil said. "And it was more than just a kiss. We already went over what else happened."
He'd said too much. He hadn't the strength to get up and run away. He just sat there, staring at the ground. He'd lost the heart to fight him. It was Adam, and it was too hard to lie to him forever.
"I do remember. Do I look like I'm that bothered by it? We were pissed. Shit happened. We talked about it this morning. So what? It doesn't change things between us, does it? Dare I ask what kind of reaction you were hoping for?" Adam said.
"One that involves you not hating me would be nice," Wil said. "I never told you because I always assumed you were straight."
"You never asked if I was straight or not. I didn't see the need to clarify," Adam said.
"You act too gay for a straight guy. I always thought that was suspicious," Wil said, daring to laugh a little.
"I"m not into fucking guys, if that's what you're trying to ask me," Adam said.
"So what we said this morning doesn't count? Changed your mind after you went home?" Wil said. He tried not to sound spiteful.
"No, you're jumping to conclusions again. I talked with Ali when I got home. I wanted her to be okay with me exploring that side of me with you. I'm not interested in doing it behind her back. She's okay with it, as long as there's no sex, which is fine with me too. I'm not interested in sex with guys, but I am interested in you," Adam said.
"This is going to get weird, isn't it? You, me, and Ali in some sort of complicated threesome isn't going to end well," Wil said.
"You don't know that. It might be fun. At least you can stop feeling guilty about it," Adam said.
"Easier said than done, mate," Wil said.
"What on earth do you want? Do you even know anymore?" Adam said.
"I want you. That's all. I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with that sort of relationship," Wil said.
"Look, there are many ways I could do this. But I don't want to do this with just anyone. I trust you. Help me out here, as a friend," Adam said.
"Don't do this to me, Adam. Besides, making out with guys isn't the same as falling in love with them. I'm just worried you're not going to get what you want out of this, and that you've already made up your mind and nothing I do will change that," Wil said. He felt particularly pleased with himself for saying so. It wasn't often his principles came in the way of offered making out with his crush of the century.
"So what do you suggest then, oh Oracle of Everything That Is Gay?" Adam said, trying to suppress a grin.
"I just don't know if this is going to work the way you want it to. What will any of this change if you suddenly decide you like being with men? You're going to drop Ali and run off into the sunset wearing glitter and rainbows? Why do you even want to do this?" Wil said.
"I need to know. I love Ali, but I just can't ignore this side of me any more," Adam said.
"I'll only agree if I can have you completely. It's the only way that's fair to us both. Otherwise I'm just a body for you to play with, and I'm not in a position where I'm willing to be used like that," Wil said.
"I'm sorry, I don't know if I can do that," Adam said.
"Well, you come back when you can. I'll be here waiting for you," Wil said.
Wil was annoyed now. Adam was annoying him. He knew it was stupid to pursue a proper relationship with him, or try and coerce one out of him. If he couldn't have Adam all to himself, he wouldn't put up with him at all. He got up and wandered into the kitchen, looking for a distraction. He opened the fridge and searched it for answers. He just wasn't sure his fragile heart could cope with Adam. Not like that anyway. He needed love, not mindless sex; no, it wasn't even mindless sex Adam was offering, it was mindless making out. He wasn't even getting a decent shag out of this deal. With a sigh, Wil grabbed another beer. He turned and found Adam standing behind him, looking apologetic.
"How long have you been there anyway?" Wil said as he twisted the lid off the bottle.
"Quite some time. I didn't realise it took a quarter of an hour to get a beer, Wil," Adam said.
"I was thinking," Wil said dismissively. "Want a drink as well?"
"Yeah, that'd be nice," Adam said.
Wil reached in, grabbed another beer and handed it to Adam. "There ya go."
"Thanks. Are you alright?" Adam said.
"What do you think?" Wil said.
"I talked to Ali again. She agrees with you. I'm all yours," Adam said.
Wil looked at him. "Yeah? Well, don't fuck it up then."
They didn't fuck that evening. Wil still didn't believe Adam was telling the truth and insisted on waking Ali up to confirm what Adam had said. Wil felt better after that, even if he wasn't sure why Ali had suddenly agreed. What had Adam said to her to convince her to let him actually fuck around with Wil?
He didn't know and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. But he did kiss Adam after that. They stood in the middle of the lounge room and started back where they'd begun. Wil wasn't annoyed at his couch after that.
Author: sashataakheru
Fandom: Australian Comedy/AusComedy
Starring: Wil Anderson, Adam Hills
Pairings: Wil/Adam, implied Adam/Ali McGregor
Rating: FRM
Word Count: 5,500
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I'm in no way associated with the guys involved, and the contents herein should not be taken as fact. Ever.
Prompt: 1631 - RPF - Australian Comedy, Wil Anderson, Sexuality is a fluid thing, right? So why are women becoming less and less attractive and men the only thing you can focus on? for
lgbtfest 2009Summary: Wil's ever-changing sexuality isn't so changing anymore, much to Wil's annooyance. It doesn't help that he's been crushing on Adam for years, even though he was always out of reach. When he discovers Adam's not as straight as he'd first assumed, everything changes.
Warnings (if any): real people, sexual situations, coarse language, masturbation.
Author's Notes (if any): Uh, it's the 17th where I am and I have to go to work soon, so I'm posting it now. So, er, enjoy.
My Mistakes Were Made For You
Wil had been perfectly capable of keeping his manly desires in check for most of his adult life. He had learned the hard way when it was safe to flirt with guys and when he was interested in doing so.
He had often thought his sexuality fitted well with his personality. It was laziness combined with uncertainty; his sexuality was not something he could pin down for any more than a day or two. In fact, Wil preferred it this way. Life ebbed and flowed, and so did his desire. It all made perfect sense. Then Adam Hills changed everything.
The problem with Adam, according to Wil, was that he was gay in every aspect apart from wanting to sleep with him. This was a problem precisely because it meant Adam would never be interested in sex with men, no matter how much Wil wanted him. Trust Wil to crush on a straight guy.
Although, if Wil was being honest, Adam wasn't the whole issue. No, Wil was far more concerned that he had, for the first time, gotten stuck on the gay end of the spectrum. It took just one night with Adam to make the problem quite unbearable.
Wil sat at the sad looking Space Invaders arcade game in his lounge room, staring down at the blinking pixels as if they were some sort of divinatory oracle. His pizza was cold. His head was confused.
Adam fucking Hills was asleep on his sofa, a man so infuriatingly attractive, Wil had to pretend his house was much colder than it was to stop Adam stripping off in front of him.
Wil took another unsatisfying bite of his pizza before dropping the slice back in the box. He glared at the screen. "Fat lot of good you are," he murmured.
The game didn't reply. It sat there flashing its programming at him, waiting for him to play and engage with it. It cared not for his problems, nor had it a capacity to understand them.
With a sigh, Wil stood up. Perhaps he should go to bed. In his bedroom. It would save him staring at Adam all night. He remembered to switch off the few lights still on and fell into bed, shoving his clothes off in a half-arsed manner before he crawled into bed. His eyes closed and he wished desperately to forget the night's events.
Since his last relationship had failed, Wil had begged anyone for company, if only so he didn't spend the whole time crying. His friends had been far better to him than Wil thought he deserved, but he was grateful for their attention. It was easier than thinking about dating again. He was no spring chicken, and especially envied Adam's ease with women, and with men.
That Adam flirted with men other than their fellow colleagues was a surprise. Wil had always assumed he was straight. To see him pointing out cute boys in the club they were in was a new development. Wil found himself agreeing, or making his own suggestions. The women in the club had become startingly uninteresting.
"Since when did you start liking guys, Adam?" Wil had asked as they left some time after midnight.
"Since always. I just never felt a need to mention it. I didn't see you complaining. Not in the mood for women, hey?" Adam said.
"Apparently not. I don't think I looked at women all night, just the hot pieces of manflesh you kept pointing out," Wil said.
"I think, perhaps, your dick is trying to tell you something," Adam said.
"Nah, it's just a phase. I'll get over it," Wil said, dismissing the thought. The less complicated the issue was, the easier it was to deal with. At least, that's what Wil kept telling himself.
"You know, I've never really understood your sexuality. I think you're making life far more complicated than it needs to be," Adam said.
"I dunno, it's just how I am. I'd try and explain it, but it might take all night and I'm not sure I've got the energy for that," Wil said.
"Mate, I think what you need is a good hard shagging," Adam said.
They had made it back from the club and fallen onto the sofa. Wil switched the TV on, looking for a distraction. It happened to be on SBS. An episode of Queer As Folk was on, displaying images of sexy half-naked men, gyrating enticingly. Adam raised an eyebrow as he noticed Wil perk up when he saw what was on.
"What the fuck is this?" Adam said.
"Oh, just a show I like. I'll change it," Wil said, reaching for the remote.
"Nah, it's fine. More eye candy to perve at, hey?" Adam said.
"Something like that. These guys are much cuter anyway. I mean, look at that leather," Wil said.
He sat back, trying not to get aroused. The last thing he needed was Adam realising this stuff was like porn to him. His attraction to men wasn't as definite or certain as he sometimes liked to make out. Then again, sometimes it was all he could think about. He wasn't certain it had been the sole reason he'd broken up with his last girlfriend, but he wouldn't have been surprised if it had contributed to it.
"It's okay to like blokes, you know. It's not going to make me freak out," Adam said, resting a reassuring hand on his arm.
"Don't, Adam, please," Wil said.
"What? You alright, mate?" Adam said.
"Just leave it, alright? It's not important," Wil said.
"Alright, fine. Have it your way," Adam said.
Wil sunk back into the couch. He prayed Adam hadn't noticed his surge of arousal as he touched him. No, he wasn't interested in Adam. Not like that. Of all the guys to desire, Adam was strictly in the 'Do Not Touch' list. He tried to ignore the rising feeling in his chest that wanted to goad him into giving in.
Wil didn't like feeling so ashamed at his desire. He felt he shouldn't feel this way, but never quite felt brave enough some days to pull it off. It probably didn't help that he'd never had a public relationship with a man. He'd had a few secretive ones though. Perhaps it was the secretive nature of his experiences in this matter that added to his shame, that he could never bring himself to date a man in public. Maybe all that fame was getting to his head. Wil wasn't entirely known for being gay. Bent out of shape, maybe. A little girly, perhaps. But not gay. That was a label he'd managed to avoid. Maybe having a girlfriend stopped people questioning him.
Adam snuggled up to him then, leaning his head on his shoulder. Wil wrapped an arm around his shoulder out of habit. Whatever he felt for Adam, he had always appreciated Adam's tolerance of his cuddling. They had settled into a level of intimacy that they were both comfortable with. It was something Wil would be forever grateful for. He'd go mad without the sanity of Adam around to keep him on the right path.
Twenty minutes later, things had changed substantially. Adam had merely rested his hand on Wil's thigh, and Wil had given in to the sexual stimulation from the TV, and somehow, Wil was cupping Adam's face as he tried to reconcile his actions with his principles.
"Go on. I know you've wanted to all night," Adam said.
"I'm not even supposed to be doing this. You belong in the 'Don't Touch' basket," Wil said.
"I didn't realise I was that repulsive," Adam said.
"You're not. I just don't want this to ruin things between us. I'm good at screwing up the good things in my life," Wil said. "Look, man, I like you. Have since fuckin' forever. Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I dunno, but I can't see any reason not to," Adam said.
"Usually I'm the one getting us in trouble. Nice to see you taking over for once," Wil said.
"Shut up, will you? You're wrecking the moment," Adam said, tilting his head towards the TV where a similar heated kiss was taking place.
Wil kissed him. It was a strange combination of reality and every dream he'd had about it, all rolled into some strange experience that wasn't really either. There was no spark of electricity, no immense tingling; it was just a kiss. Adam was surprisingly hesitant. Wil wondered how far he could push it before Adam was just repulsed by it. They broke apart slowly, and Wil leant his head against his shoulder, arms loosely closing around Adam's chest.
"You alright?" Adam murmured.
"Sexuality isn't supposed to be this complicated, is it?" Wil said.
"What do you mean exactly?" Adam said.
"It's a fluid thing, I've always believed that, and yet... it's fixed itself in a way I'm not used to. The idea of being with a woman is beginning to sound like something worse than Hell. What's wrong with me?" Wil said.
"You sure this isn't just a phase?" Adam said.
"My phases never feel like this. They never feel so... permanent. I totally blame you for getting me in the mood tonight," Wil said, repressing a smirk.
"Nice to know I'm good for something. If this is too weird, just tell me and I'll back off," Adam said.
"I was going to say the same to you. I mean, I've tended to be the gayer one, haven't I?" Wil said.
"Okay, I admit it. You corrupted me at last," Adam said.
"About bloody time. I've been working on you for ages," Wil said.
"I suppose I should be honoured to have attracted so much of your attention," Adam said.
"You should be. Not everyone's that deserving," Wil said.
Adam kissed him again curiously. Intellectually, he had no objection to being with Wil. He just had no experience actually being with men. He figured Wil would help him if he needed it.
"You know, you don't have to do this," Wil said.
"I know that, Wil, but I want to," Adam said.
That permission was like an aphrodisiac. Will kissed him again, his hands feeling freer to explore as they slipped below Adam's clothing to reach his skin. Adam was surprised at how well he responded to Wil's actions. He didn't even shrink away when Wil's hand slowly unzipped his jeans and slipped inside his pants. By then he was already hard. It seemed to make more sense than to merely leave it and remain frustrated all night.
"Would you touch me? Or am I rushing you?" Wil breathed, glancing down at his very tight pants.
"Nah, you're alright, man. Jus'- show me what to do, yeah?" Adam said.
Wil finally slipped his jeans off, kicking them aside. Adam was gentle. Wil cursed himself for not doing this sooner. Perhaps it ws their drunken state that left them so uninhibited. Indeed, they were both naked soon enough, a fact that sent Wil into even greater heights of arousal. Skin on skin contact was doing nothing to kill his crush on Adam.
They lay together on the couch, Wil curled up as he played with Adam's nipple ring. Wil was easily distracted by shiny things. He was enjoying this chance to show Adam just what he was missing. It was strangely satisfying.
There was no sex, at least Wil wouldn't have called it sex. Mutual handjobs was a better description. Adam writhed under his hands as he rode out his orgasm, Wil not far behind him. Such intimacy was not something Wil would abuse.
The stillness that followed wasn't as awkward as Wil had expected it would be. Adam didn't pull away or shift uncomfortably as Wil cuddled up to him. It was only now that Wil had time to realise what he'd done. Wil got dressed and left it at that.
That was as far as they got. Naked masturbation and a few kisses. It was all Wil could cope with. Adam got dressed and together they sat on the couch again. They'd had a couple more beers, watched some more TV and then Adam had finally fallen asleep, leaving Wil wide awake and unable to sleep. He'd ordered pizza and ate it unenthusiastically. Eventually, he went to sleep. In his bedroom. Away from Adam.
He'd woken first the next morning. Adam was still sprawled on his couch. Wil finished the rest of the pizza. He decided to let Adam sleep as long as he needed and retreated to his study. At least he could find some relative silence there, give him time to think things through.
What if Adam didn't remember last night? Should Wil mention it?
Wil had broken his 'Do Not Touch' rule. It was an important rule; it had capital letters and everything. He had broken it in a thousand different ways so it now lay shattered on the ground, those important capital letters ruined. What if it made things worse between them? Adam wasn't gay, not like he was. Not that Wil was gay either. He was just... It was different. Sexuality is fluid. Wil isn't anything. So why did his sudden attraction to Adam, and to men, confuse him so much?
Wil was stuck. Somehow, someone had made him gay overnight. Wil wasn't used to such one-sided sexuality. At least before, girls were still attractive when he was more interested in boys. Not so now. All he wanted was cock.
Well, he'd certainly gotten it last night. He remembered enough to know it wasn't just a forgivable kiss. There was nakedness, and wanking, and Wil licked that nipple ring of his and made Adam gasp-
Had he pushed Adam too far? What happens now anyway? Should Wil try again? No, of course he shouldn't. Adam would never agree. He had to find someone else to love, get over his feelings for Adam. Yes, that's what he should do. That was the best course of action. Wil was sensible enough to agree that's what he should do. He wasn't sure, however, if that's what he'd actually do.
"Oh, here you are. You've got a few hiding spots here, haven't you?" Adam said, wandering in and interrupting his thoughts.
"Was just thinking," Wil said, remaining seated.
"I gathered that. You alright?" Adam said.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's okay. I suppose you're hungry, then?" Wil said.
"I am, yeah. You didn't save any of that pizza for me, did you?" Adam said.
"Uh, no, sorry. I've got other things to eat though," Wil said.
He got to his feet and they headed back to the kitchen. Adam sat on one of the bar stools while Wil rummaged around in the pantry and the fridge. He probably should've remembered to do a bit of shopping. There wasn't a great selection to choose from.
"Feel like anything in particular?" Wil said.
"I dunno, you got any bacon?" Adam said.
"Adam, this is me you're talking to. Of course I don't have any bacon," Wil said.
"Oh, yeah, that's right. Sorry. Just get me whatever, yeah?" Adam said.
"Sure, you know I'll look after you," Wil said with a half-smile.
Wil improvised as best he could, and soon they sat in front of the TV again, eating their makeshift breakfast. Wil flicked the TV on, just for some background noise, not bothering to change channels. They sat in silence. Wil wondered why they couldn't get away from the bloody couch that had been the site for Wil breaking his most important rule.
"Are you going to be weird about this all day?" Adam said, interrupting a fascinating story in Arabic about a woman and a herd of goats. Neither could work out what was going on, apart from a woman, and a herd of goats. Wil giggled at the smutty jokes in his head.
"Weird about what exactly?" Wil said, though he had a feeling he knew what he was talking about, and the fact that Adam remembered was very much Not Good, with capital letters and all sorts of badness about it.
"You don't remember last night? I do believe we got naked and things happened," Adam said, taunting note in his voice. He wasn't revealing what had happened, though Wil suspected his words meant he knew exactly what had happened.
"I was hoping you wouldn't remember that. It was just another stupid thing I did," Wil admitted.
"You need to stop being so hard on yourself. It was just a kiss," Adam said.
"I'm not supposed to kiss you though. And it was far more than just a kiss, Adam," Wil said.
"So? Is this really a problem? It was nice. Stop trying to convince yourself you know what I'm thinking when I haven't even told you," Adam said.
"It's the principle of the thing. I'm not supposed to touch you that way," Wil said.
"I believe that's your rule, not mine. Why is this such a big issue for you anyway? We fucked around. Worse things have happened," Adam said.
"Cos I shouldn't go around snogging hot drunk comedian mates. It just ends badly," Wil said.
"How do you know it ends badly?" Adam said, turning to face him.
"Why wouldn't it end badly? You're straight, I'm not. End of discussion," Wil said.
"I thought we discussed my not-quite-straightness last night? Or did you forget that? What is it you're really trying to say here?" Adam said.
"I'm not saying anything. I'm not digging myself into an even bigger hole," Wil said. He set his breakfast on the coffee table and curled into the couch, trying to hide away. He was proud of his restraint. In any normal situation, he'd just keep talking and talking until he'd made things ten times worse than they'd been before. Perhaps age had brought some semblance of maturity.
Adam sighed. He clearly wasn't going to get any further with this and gave in. "Alright, you win. I'll leave it. Don't think this is over though. No one gets me off and just drops it, especially not you."
Wil sat back in the couch and sighed. He had a feeling Adam would guilt-trip it out of him eventually. Adam was like that. Wil always found it hard to keep secrets from him. It was just a matter of how long he could resist those kind eyes and that sympathetic smile.
"God I hate you, Adam," Wil muttered.
"I don't believe that's what you said last night," Adam said. "Sorry, I'll stop now."
Wil sighed. He'd hit Adam next if he said anything else. God, he was such an idiot. He couldn't even control himself long enough to leave Adam alone. It was his own fault he'd broken his Very Important Rule and he'd have to deal with the consequences. Just so long as he didn't say anything else he'd be fi-
"If it's any consolation, I really enjoyed it, and even I'm surprised by that," Adam said, breaking Wil's concentration.
Wil looked at him. ""You serious?"
"Yeah. I wasn't expecting that. You're not mad, are you?" Adam said.
"I'm annoyed, because if you just wanted to make out, you know, see how you liked it, why the fuck didn't you just say so? Then I wouldn't be feeling so bad right now," Wil said.
"Uh, I don't believe I thought that far ahead at the time. Besides, it's not easy asking a good friend to, you know, do that, just to see if you like it. It's kinda embarrassing," Adam said.
"You're a dickhead. Just ask me next time, okay?" Wil said.
"I'll remember that," Adam said.
Wil sat in silence the rest of the day. Adam had, thankfully, left. Adam had made him talk a little more, though Wil had become so guarded he hardly revealed anything Adam didn't already know. However, Wil did manage to get Adam to talk some more. Adam wanting to make out with him was a new development he hadn't anticipated and he wanted to make sure Adam was genuine about it, rather than just messing with his head.
Wil was even more surprised Adam hadn't told him. Usually they shared every little detail about their lives. That Adam had kept this secret was annoying, especially because Wil would've been only too happy to have gone along with it. His Very Important Rule didn't count when Adam actually asked him to make out. Every rule has an exception and Wil was glad to have found this one.
Will had avoided telling him he was in love with him, though. He didn't think their relationship needed to be complicated any further. They'd agreed to mess around again, if Adam wanted to. That was the extent of it. Sort of but not quite fuck buddies. Wil had to concede it was better than nothing. He just hoped it wouldn't get weird. He liked Adam too much to let things get weird.
Wil was also glad they hadn't actually had sex. God help him if he ever got pissed and slept with Adam. Kissing was excuseable, hell, even wanking was excuseable if he justified it in the right way. As long as he kept his dick out of Adam's arse, and Adam did likewise, it was all perfectly excuseable. And So Not Gay. It was mutual masterbation and that was entirely acceptable.
Wil had, many times, tried to intellectualise his thing, for lack of a better word, for Adam. It was a mancrush, some form of respect, Adam was just a really, really nice and attractive faux-gay bloke. However, there was always the niggling doubt that these explanations circled around and avoided the main problem, the one Wil had trouble admitting to himself, let alone to Adam. He had tried last night, when they were drunk on the sofa and doing things with their hands they probably shouldn't have been doing, but Wil wasn't sure if Adam remembered that, or even understood what he'd meant.
What sucked the most was that Wil knew full well that Adam was in no position to shack up with him anyway, even if by some miracle the feeling was mutual. Adam had his own relationship, and Wil wasn't quite brave enough to dare break them up purely out of self-interest. That is not the way to go about winning your heart's desire. If only Adam hadn't told him he wasn't as straight as he'd thought he was, he could put all this to bed. But no, that tiny change in his sexuality had just fuelled his lust to soaring levels. It didn't help that Adam had told him he was open to making out again, if the opportunity supplied itself. It was like an open invitation to stick his hand down his pants next time they met. Wil didn't need that sort of temptation, not when Adam was around.
His phone beeped then, and he reached for it habitually. Adam had sent him a message. He'd left his jumper behind and wondered if it was okay to come round and collect it. Wil, reluctant to see him again so soon, sent his permission anyway. Besides, they were both sober now. Nothing bad would happen. Would it?
Adam came around an hour later. Wil had suggested dinner, given the time. Adam had agreed, since he'd just seen his girlfriend off overseas and liked the idea of sharing a meal with one of his mates. Wil grabbed them some beer and ordered Chinese. One day Wil would learn to eat better. Maybe once he'd gotten over this grieving process. They sat on the sofa again and waited.
"She going to be gone long?" Wil asked.
"Yeah, a few weeks," Adam said.
"Well, feel free to come round if you're feeling lonely," Wil said.
"I would've thought that was an offer I should be making to you. I'm not the one who lives alone," Adam said.
"I'm used to it. Well, no, I'm not, but it'll do. Got no other choice, do I?" Wil said.
"The Government isn't forcing you to live alone, Wil. That's your choice," Adam said.
"Stupid Government," Wil said, pouting. He hated that Adam was right, again. He didn't have anyone else to blame but himself. Calling the Government stupid seemed the best response.
"Are you alright? You seem a little..." Adam didn't finish the sentence.
"I didn't say anything to you last night, did I? Something I probably shouldn't have said?" Wil said.
"Worried about drunken confessions you probably shouldn't have made? You didn't decide to tell me you actually do like the company of goats, did you?" Adam said, an amused grin on his face.
"Ahh, no, it wasn't about goats, no. It was, you know, about us. Or you, more specifically," Wil said.
"Have you secretly hated me this whole time and drunkenly decided to tell me in between kisses and handjobs? You do have a strange way of showing affection," Adam said.
"It wasn't that. You don't remember then?" Wil said hopefully. If he didn't remember, he could always lie.
"I remember you telling me you liked me. I didn't realise that was a huge secret," Adam said.
"It is, because I didn't mean it that way. I meant it-" Wil paused. "See, now I'm not sure I should tell you."
"By all means, don't tell me. It's your burden, not mine," Adam said.
The doorbell rang. Adam got up. "I'll get it. You wait here," he said.
Wil stayed where he was, sinking into the sofa, while he watched Adam collect the food that had arrived at his house. He was particularly irritated with his sofa tonight, though he didn't quite know why. Actually, no, he did know why. He'd fucking mauled Adam there the night before, that's why. He watched Adam head over to the front door and collect their meal. He returned with a bag full of plastic boxes.
"Honestly, if you're going to sit there pouting all evening, I'll go home. Would it kill you to stop moping?" Adam said, setting the food down on the coffee table.
"I love you. It's about time I told you that. You can still go if you want. I'll be fine," Wil said, speaking before his brain had quite figured out if it was as good an idea as it had seemed a moment earlier.
"You love me? Okay, I know you. Clarify what you mean by that," Adam said, sitting down next to him.
"How else do you think I mean it?" Wil said. Shit. Now he really had dug himself a hole. How is it he could manage to avoid trouble when hung over, but now that he was sober, he was willing and ready to dig himself a hole all the way to China?
"It was just a kiss, Wil. It's not that big an issue. Since when did love come into it?" Adam said.
"Since always. Since forever. Since I first met you. Jesus, I'm pathetic," Wil said. "And it was more than just a kiss. We already went over what else happened."
He'd said too much. He hadn't the strength to get up and run away. He just sat there, staring at the ground. He'd lost the heart to fight him. It was Adam, and it was too hard to lie to him forever.
"I do remember. Do I look like I'm that bothered by it? We were pissed. Shit happened. We talked about it this morning. So what? It doesn't change things between us, does it? Dare I ask what kind of reaction you were hoping for?" Adam said.
"One that involves you not hating me would be nice," Wil said. "I never told you because I always assumed you were straight."
"You never asked if I was straight or not. I didn't see the need to clarify," Adam said.
"You act too gay for a straight guy. I always thought that was suspicious," Wil said, daring to laugh a little.
"I"m not into fucking guys, if that's what you're trying to ask me," Adam said.
"So what we said this morning doesn't count? Changed your mind after you went home?" Wil said. He tried not to sound spiteful.
"No, you're jumping to conclusions again. I talked with Ali when I got home. I wanted her to be okay with me exploring that side of me with you. I'm not interested in doing it behind her back. She's okay with it, as long as there's no sex, which is fine with me too. I'm not interested in sex with guys, but I am interested in you," Adam said.
"This is going to get weird, isn't it? You, me, and Ali in some sort of complicated threesome isn't going to end well," Wil said.
"You don't know that. It might be fun. At least you can stop feeling guilty about it," Adam said.
"Easier said than done, mate," Wil said.
"What on earth do you want? Do you even know anymore?" Adam said.
"I want you. That's all. I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with that sort of relationship," Wil said.
"Look, there are many ways I could do this. But I don't want to do this with just anyone. I trust you. Help me out here, as a friend," Adam said.
"Don't do this to me, Adam. Besides, making out with guys isn't the same as falling in love with them. I'm just worried you're not going to get what you want out of this, and that you've already made up your mind and nothing I do will change that," Wil said. He felt particularly pleased with himself for saying so. It wasn't often his principles came in the way of offered making out with his crush of the century.
"So what do you suggest then, oh Oracle of Everything That Is Gay?" Adam said, trying to suppress a grin.
"I just don't know if this is going to work the way you want it to. What will any of this change if you suddenly decide you like being with men? You're going to drop Ali and run off into the sunset wearing glitter and rainbows? Why do you even want to do this?" Wil said.
"I need to know. I love Ali, but I just can't ignore this side of me any more," Adam said.
"I'll only agree if I can have you completely. It's the only way that's fair to us both. Otherwise I'm just a body for you to play with, and I'm not in a position where I'm willing to be used like that," Wil said.
"I'm sorry, I don't know if I can do that," Adam said.
"Well, you come back when you can. I'll be here waiting for you," Wil said.
Wil was annoyed now. Adam was annoying him. He knew it was stupid to pursue a proper relationship with him, or try and coerce one out of him. If he couldn't have Adam all to himself, he wouldn't put up with him at all. He got up and wandered into the kitchen, looking for a distraction. He opened the fridge and searched it for answers. He just wasn't sure his fragile heart could cope with Adam. Not like that anyway. He needed love, not mindless sex; no, it wasn't even mindless sex Adam was offering, it was mindless making out. He wasn't even getting a decent shag out of this deal. With a sigh, Wil grabbed another beer. He turned and found Adam standing behind him, looking apologetic.
"How long have you been there anyway?" Wil said as he twisted the lid off the bottle.
"Quite some time. I didn't realise it took a quarter of an hour to get a beer, Wil," Adam said.
"I was thinking," Wil said dismissively. "Want a drink as well?"
"Yeah, that'd be nice," Adam said.
Wil reached in, grabbed another beer and handed it to Adam. "There ya go."
"Thanks. Are you alright?" Adam said.
"What do you think?" Wil said.
"I talked to Ali again. She agrees with you. I'm all yours," Adam said.
Wil looked at him. "Yeah? Well, don't fuck it up then."
They didn't fuck that evening. Wil still didn't believe Adam was telling the truth and insisted on waking Ali up to confirm what Adam had said. Wil felt better after that, even if he wasn't sure why Ali had suddenly agreed. What had Adam said to her to convince her to let him actually fuck around with Wil?
He didn't know and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. But he did kiss Adam after that. They stood in the middle of the lounge room and started back where they'd begun. Wil wasn't annoyed at his couch after that.