Letters from my characters

[wolfanfics]

Dear Narrator, since that's what you seem to be calling yourself in your letters.

Thank you for deciding not to kill me, and for fixing my hair, but stop with the planning to bring back my other self and The Doctor at the last minute. I don't care how pretty he is. Oh, and why did I end up as the clone? I'm not complaining about ending up with Chris, but yeah. The clone thing. Why am I the clone? Why couldn't the other one have been the clone? I feel a little hard done by. I wasn't wanted, just to be a part of the clone army, and all my brothers were destroyed at the end of the first story. How do you think I feel? I didn't want to be a part of this world, but Julian only went and made us all, didn't he? And to what end? Lab destroyed, my clone brothers murdered, and I get shoved with Chris so you can have your Andrew/Chris slash. What about my brothers? They killed my brothers. I can't just let that go unavenged. I don't care if they thought they had to do what they did. They murdered my brothers. How the hell do you think I feel about that? I am not Andrew, so stop thinking I am. I'm just a clone, but my brothers will not go unavenged. So there. Take that, silly Narrator person.

clone!Andrew
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey Narrator person,

Sorry I haven't been hanging around much, but I've had other things on my mind. You know what they are. So I'll be back with you when I'm good and ready. Somewhere around the 26th, maybe? Oh, and can I bring my dog with me? I hate the thought of being in this fic without him.

Ta,
Chas

P.S. Tell Shane to keep his crasy ass cat away from me and my dog. Ta.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Narrator-girl,

Why can't I kill Andrew? You listening to him over me now? Oh, and that dream you had last night? Don't read anything into it.

But thanks for the wings. Not sure what I'll do with them now. Hey! Can I fly around menacingly when they turn up? Yeah, like, once I've got Chris and Andrew cornered, can I come flying out of nowhere and swoop down on them? That is so the best way to make an entrance. Do that! Go on! And can I lose a poker match to Jules at some point? He has the best outfits for me.

Narrator: I thought you didn't like having Jules as your Master?

Craig: Hey, I'm allowed to change my mind. Besides, 'Dressed' was hot. Do that too! Can you have a bit in there where I'm all pretty, and Jules is having me serve Japanese tea for some friends of his? Ooh, that would be great! Fit that in too! A Japanese tea party! In a pretty little Japanese tea house!

Narrator: You're weird, Craig.

Craig: So are you. So what?

Narrator: *shakes head and leaves*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey Sasha,

I know what you're planning for my lovely boyfriend, and I'm ok with it, much as I'm not going to like it, but he's not going to stay that way forever is he? I mean, he's not going to be dead forever, right? Just in this novel you're planning, yeah? Because if he stays dead, you're in trouble.

And about this poker match thing. So the first one I go to, I lose and end up with Andrew? Are you crazy? And could you stop Charles taking over my boyfriend? I mean, sure I feel sorry for him and all, but Adam's MY boyfriend. Is it possible for you to stop trying to pair my Adam up with other guys? What happened to him and me being your perfect pairing? Am I the only one who cares about fidelity in your messed up world?

Oh, and another thing. Can I have a go at Julian before you let Chas loose on him? I'm going to be seriously in need of revenge at that point, moreso than Chas. Oh, go on. Can't I beat him up a bit? Why can't I be the one who kills him? Why does it have to be Chas?

OK, I think that's all for now. Oh, and I think it's great that you like me as a muse, we came up with some killer storylines together, but Andrew's your muse now, so stop looking to me for inspiration. I'll be over here cuddling with MY boyfriend.

Cheers,
Hamish


Hamish,

Yeah, it'll be tough to write, but be thankful it'll be over quick. At least I'm not planning on tortuing him. Not really Julian's style. But yeah, he won't be dead forever. He'll be alive and back in one piece at the end of the story.

And yeah, sorry about that, but be thankful Andrew's not interested in sex either, so you won't have to worry about that. And look, it's not my fault Adam's wanting to go after other guys. It's not because he doesn't love you, though. And why aren't you talking to him about this? I'm not your bloody counsellor. Stop pouting and go talk to him already.

And don't worry, you two are my perfect pairing. Sure, Adam might end up with other guys every now and then, but he always comes back to you, doesn't he?

Hamish, stop turning into a main character. You're not supposed to be a main character. No you can't have a go at Julian because the others won't let you. You can sit there and be distraught with Charles like a good little boy, ok?

And contrary to what you seem to think, I'm not looking to you for inspiration. You're hanging around, and I didn't ask you to. If you're annoyed at me asking you for inspiration, stop hanging around then. Though I do like you hanging around. And is it you I'm getting Chas/Hamish vibes from? Or can I beat Chas over the head with a stick for planting that little seed, hmm?

Your Narrator
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Hey Narrator person,

You've done a good job of putting me between a rock and a hard place, haven't you? Why must you kill off my Masters? Who'll look after me when they're gone? None of the others would do, they could never be Julian, nor be as kind as Adam was.

You're exceptionally cruel. Go and die, already.

Charles
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey Sasha,

I don't mind having the teddy bear, I mean, it's cute and all, but I'll have to get back to you about why I've got it. Actually, I think Craig gave it to me. Why am I carrying this thing around again? I didn't want it. What the hell are you doing to me?

Chris
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey Sasha!

I thought we'd sorted this out already. Stop pairing my Adam up with other guys! I've told you I don't like it. He's MY Adam, not Tim's!

Hamish
*goes to sulk in the corner*


Hamish,

That was not my idea. I had no intention to slash them at all. I was gonna keep you guys together as much as possible, but it seems they both had other ideas.

I told you before. Go talk to Adam about this instead of bitching to me about it.

Your Narrator
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey Narrator,

Whatever you want to do, I'll do it. It's your plot. You want to kill off my Masters, fine. Just... Just make sure I get someone else to look after me. I don't like being alone. I'll even take Andrew if you want.

Oh, and I don't know where everyone else is. They should be here helping you with this. Maybe I should... I mean, would you like me to go and ask them to come and help? I could do that, I think.

Oh, and I like that you're going to finish 'Charlie' off. That has been haunting me for a while now. I'd like that to be over. Um, I'm not going to end up with Adam and Hamish, am I? I didn't meant to make Hamish jealous. If I must have a new Master, please make them as kind as Adam. I'll behave if I get a new Master like Adam.

I hope this isn't too much of a big request.

Respectfully,
Charles


That's sweet of you, Charles. Apart from Julian and Adam, have you got a preference as to who your new Master could be? It's nice that you're talking to me at last.

Take your time with that, but at least get them to turn up when I start writing. I have enough plot to do me til then, but come november, I'll need you all to be around to inspire me, ok? I know we've never done this together before, so it'll be new to all of us. And you can all have a rest once we hit December if you like.

I'll see what I can do about a new Master for you. I want this sequel to at least help tie things up a bit for you. I didn't like leaving Charlie where it was, with you all beaten and shit. I can't promise you'll have Adam, sorry about that. It'd hurt Hamish too much to have to share him with you. He does feel sorry for you and all, but I think we'll just have Adam look after you until we can find you someone else, ok? So don't get too attached to him.

Oh, and you don't know where Julian's hideout is, do you? Because it'd be nice to know that, if it's not too much to ask. Go bug Julian for me, will you? You have my permission, and if he threatens you, tell him you're on my orders to get said information from him. I'll deal with him if he misbehaves.

Your Narrator


Well, if it's not too much trouble, I think I'd like Andrew, I mean, if he'd have me. I know he's rather attached to Chris right now, though. I'll happily accept anyone who'll look after me. Can it not be Tim, if that's ok with you? I'd rather it was someone else, if that's ok.

Respectfully,
Charles.


I'll see what I can do. If Andrew and Chris are ok with it, that's what we'll do. Otherwise, we'll see if we can't find you someone, hey?

It'll be alright, you know. You can stop panicking. I won't leave you alone without a Master, ok? Trust me on that.

Your Narrator

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dear Sasha or whatever your name is,

What on earth did you do to my hair? And stop hitting me, I'm being restrained. I could give you a very crazy plot if you let me. Oh, and I'd really like it if I didn't die because of Craig's sulking, if you don't mind. Let me put him back in his place. I won't hurt him. Much.

And would it kill you to be nice to me for a change?

Andrew


Dear Andrew,

OK, so the hair was a mistake I haven't changed yet. But ask Chris if you can change it as he seems quite fond of it. The plot's fine as it is. Though if it went from slightly more serious to a bit more like the original, that'd be nice. I mean, I know it'd be hard to stretch that over 50,000 words, but I'm sure we could manage something, yeah? Though I do like the idea of Craig going psycho on you. But, hey, I just write things down, you're making things up here, so do what you like. But, hey, if you can stop Craig being a jealous little slut, go right ahead.

I'll be nice to you when you're nice to me.

Your Narrator.


Now, look here. I've been positively wonderful to you. To think what might've happened if I'd let Craig be in charge. No, be thankful I'm here, or I will let him loose on you with strict instructions to go crazy.

Now fix my hair, agree not to kill me and go write something. Preferrably something that doesn't involve me angsting about something. I mean, really. I don't angst. So stop it. Now.

Andrew


Andrew, dearest, you angst so well. Alright, I'll fix your hair, but you gotta start telling me things that aren't to do with the plot, like why you and Chris are together anyway. Or does that mean I have to write more about you guys at uni to figure that out, hey? All I ask for is a bit of help and you don't tell me anything.

Your Narrator.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dear Narrator,

I am not responsible for clone!Andrew's bitching. I didn't want a clone. You did that all on your own. And would you stop singing long enough to pay attention to me?

Narrator: Shut up. I love this song.

Andrew: Suit yourself. But I actually have important stuff to tell you.

Narrator: Uh-huh. Like all the other important things, yeah? Better make it good, muse.

Andrew: Well, since you asked so nicely, Narrator-person-

Narrator: Lose the sneer, bucko. It doesn't suit you.

Andrew: I'll sneer if I want to. And don't call me bucko.

Narrator: Fine. You were saying?

Andrew: Yeah, I wanted to tell you about why me and Chris work so well, but if you're not interested, I'll go away.

Narrator: Oh, no you don't. I've been pestering you about that for weeks. Spill.

Andrew: No, you're obviously not interested. I'm going.

Narrator: Fine then. No more Ten love for you. No more Doctor Who cross-overs. No more TARDIS.

Andrew: ... Bitch.

Narrator: Aww, you know you love me. ;)

Andrew: I'll tell you later. Don't you have things to do?

Narrator: Hey, don't you go disappearing on me!

*watches Andrew disappear*

Narrator: Damn muse. I really need to chain him to my desk or something.




*pokes Craig* Right. Thank you for ceasing your diva-ness for one moment. And stop pouting at me. Just because I didn't use your plotbunny is no excuse to crack the sads on me. I'm not budging. If you're lucky, I might write you and Chris later on. But only if you behave and lose the diva streak.

*pokes Chris* Turn up and say something! Are you leaving Andrew to plot everything out for me? For soemone who's got an integral part in this plot, you've been very quiet.

*pokes Andrew* I suppose you'll turn up in my dreams again, telling me how to slash you and Chris together properly, hey? Oh, and could we have some dialogue as opposed to just random scenes of you being comforted by Chris? It's not really helping, you know. Stop being so melodramatic. I don't care that you're the one burdened by all the mental problems.

*pokes Charles* You are going to turn up at some point, yeah? I mean, you are in this story, so could you maybe turn up and tell me what you're doing, since you're such a good mate of Andrew's? Aren't you supposed to be the loud one? Or one of them at any rate?

*pokes angry Gregor, just because it's fun* You'll be there too, I suppose, hey? Aww, look at the angry Gregor. *pets him* ETA: Hey, sorry you got dumped from the plot, but we never really got far with you anyway. Maybe next time?

*is noticing a distinct lack of females in this plotline*

*pokes all my characters* Ok, I realise we're still at the plotting stage, and this is supposed to be slash, but would having a female or two involved really kill you?

*whacks Craig over the head with a large log* Will you just go away already? This fic isn't about you! You weren't even invited! So get out of my head and don't come back until I've done NaNo.

Hmm... in hindsight, perhaps I should've refrained from the poking. They've all gone and vanished on me, the bastards. No, not all of them. I've still got Charles, Adam and Hamish here, but the rest have either not shown up at all or have disappeared again.