Sashataakheru (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wolfanfics) wrote2008-07-22 06:37 pm
wolfanfics) wrote2008-07-22 06:37 pm
The Glass House: Chapter Seventeen
Um, I so meant to post this sooner, but I've just been so fucking busy lately, I haven't had time to think, let alone post this. D:
Title: The Glass House
Author: Sashataakheru
Beta: The wonderfulrana_narsilion <3
Fandom: The Chaser/AusComedy RPS
Starring: Adam Hills, Sepulchre (OC), Wil Anderson, Hamish Blake, Craig Reucassel, Tim Minchin, Julian Morrow, Chas Licciardello, Charles Firth, Chris Taylor, Andrew Hansen, Caleb (OC), Dr Rachel Hardy (OC), Antoinette Laurent (OC), Dr Samantha Reddings (OC), Dominic Knight, Shane Cubis, Gregor Stronach, Tim Brunero, Andy Lee
Pairings: Andrew/Chris; Adam/Hamish; Jules/Chas; Rachel/Antoinette(/Samantha); Adam/Seb; Adam/Wil; Craig/Caleb; Adam/Wil/Tim; Andrew/Craig, Wil/Chas; implied Tim/Craig, Hamish/Andy (after a fashion. XD)
Word Count: 4,759
Chapter: 17/32 [Previous]
Warnings: language, angst, mentions/descriptions of torture
Rating: FRAO
Disclaimer: I don’t know them, not associated with them, just a slashy fangirl admirer with a very active imagination.
Author’s Notes: FYI, fullwing = winged human capable of flight. Halfwing = fullwing/human halfbreed, usually unable to fly, sometimes have vestigial wings, but can be removed to pass as human and not as winged.
Summary: Craig finally admits to Julian that he was tortured before they finally settle their differences, and Adam finally wakes from his drug-induced slumber.
Chapter Seventeen
"What the fuck did you do with the money, Craig?" Julian said, storming into the meeting, angrily waving a bunch of papers at him.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Craig said, looking up from the book he was reading, distinctly uninterested. He didn't want to be at this meeting anyway, but Tim had ordered him to attend in spite of his and Andrew's protestations, so he had grabbed a book and sulked off to the meeting room, determined to make it clear he would rather be anywhere but there.
"Stop lying. How the fuck did you pay for Caleb's freedom?"
"I had some savings stored away."
"Then where's the ten grand? I trusted you to keep a check on the money. How dare you go against that trust and steal from me!" Julian threw the papers down in front of Craig.
Craig picked them up and looked at them briefly. He recognised them as financial statements, reports he'd made for Julian. "If you're so convinced I stole from you, where's your proof?"
"Caleb's my proof. You stole ten grand from me so you could buy his freedom. When have you ever had ten grand stored away?"
"Does it matter? He's not being forced into slavery anymore. That more than justifies freeing him," Craig said.
"I want him gone. He's causing trouble. The men don't like him being around. They want you gone as well. No one trusts you anymore, and I'm beginning to think they have a point. The only reason we haven't been caught yet is because we have absolute trust in each other. You're becoming a threat to that stability. You think nothing of anyone else here. You're reckless and stupid and put the rest of us at risk. We can't have you off doing whatever you want. We work together or not at all. Prove to me I can trust you or get the fuck out of my sight," Julian said.
"Prove to me that any of you care about me and I might consider staying. As it stands, none of you have ever given me any indication you even remotely care about my wellbeing. You don't like Caleb, you don't like me, what the fuck do I have to do to make any of you stop hating me?" Craig said, getting to his feet.
"You set out to antagonise us from the beginning. You tagged along, not caring about our own methods. You were more concerned about settling some personal vendetta you appear to have been carrying for years. You seem to forget that this is a group effort. We do not exist to enact revenge on your behalf. You want revenge, do it yourself. Don't drag us into it. Resources are tight as it is. We can't afford to misspend anything. We need every cent to keep the people here fed and trained. We aren't your personal bank that you can just take from at your whim," Tim said, trying to keep the argument civil.
"And I told you I didn't steal that money, so shut your fucking mouth, Tim. Yes, I have a vendetta. Show me a fullwing that doesn't. Do you think I asked for the sort of treatment I've suffered? No. So shut the fuck up and leave me be," Craig said.
"Craig, I know you're lying, and badly at that. You stole ten thousand dollars from us! And for what? To pay off your boyfriend! I could excuse it if you'd spent it on something useful, but no, you spent it on Caleb. We're already stretched for space here. You didn't even bother asking if you could bring him. This whole mess was organised behind our backs. It makes you look bad. For all we know, you're a traitor working for the Government and Caleb's some spy you've brought into our fold. We'll trust you when you trust us," Julian said.
Craig growls in frustration, slamming a fist down against the table. "What do I have to do to prove I am no traitor? Apparently everything I do is susceptible to suspicion. I have never been a traitor to you, nor will I ever become one. God, I tell you this every time this is brought up. Why won't you trust me?"
"Because, in spite of giving us your word, you act like a traitor. What are we supposed to think when we see you sneaking around? You've never co-operated with the planning. All you seem to care about is revenge, so excuse us for thinking you care about this rebellion, because that's not what your actions are telling us. We work for the good of this country, for her people. You only care about yourself. Stop being such a selfish fucker and help us for once," Tim said.
"It's not as simple as that!" Craig said.
"Yes it is. You don't have to work against us," Tim said.
"I've put up with you for a long time, Craig. Now, I don't know what your fucking problem is, but get over yourself, alright? No one is more or less important than anyone else around here, but if you continue to antagonise us, I will kick you out for the good of the rebellion, Caleb too. I need harmony. I can't have someone like you shit-stirring. Consider this your final warning. Behave yourself or you're out. And don't think I'm just saying it for the sake of saying it. I will follow through if I have to. I'll send you back to the streets where you came from, and if you dare to speak a word about the rebellion to anyone, I'll have you killed. Do not anger me further. I have enough shit to deal with without having to rein you in every fucking day. Now, I'll ask you one more time: did you or did you not steal ten thousand dollars from me to buy Caleb's freedom without my permission?" Julian said.
"No. I did not steal that money. I told you. I had some savings. I sacrificed that money for him. I regret nothing. He's better off here than back at that sluthouse," Craig said, continuing to lie through his teeth.
"You continue to lie to us, and you wonder why we don't trust you?" Julian said.
"What proof do you have that I stole from you, apart from the fact you all don't trust me?" Craig said.
"It's here in the figures. They don't add up. Ten grand is missing, and you will pay it back. You had no right to take it from us, not even for Caleb. There are more important things right now than freeing prostitutes!" Julian said.
"Yeah, like what?" Craig said.
"The rebellion, for one. Survival, for another. What the fuck is wrong with you that you can't see how important that is?" Tim said.
"There's nothing wrong with me! I'm no traitor! Why the fuck won't you trust me?" Craig said, angry that he was letting them get to him.
"What's your problem, Craig? What's eating away at you? From one fullwing to another, I know what they've done to us and I know how it eats away at you, but seriously, what did they do to you to make you so jaded?" Tim said.
"None of you even noticed! I came back after going missing for three weeks and none of you cared! None! No one said anything! Do you know what they did to me? Do any of you even care? They destroyed me in those two weeks, and you let it happen! You sent me out there! I was arrested, and-" Craig stops, unable to continue. He growls in frustration and punches the wall.
"What are you talking about? When did you go missing?" Julian said.
"It was a few years ago. You sent me out to scout one of the Army bases. I was about to leave when I was arrested. They… I was imprisoned for two weeks as they "interrogated" me. For some reason, I was released alive. I spent a week in some hospital recovering before I staggered back to the haven. I was probably in a right mess, and all the welcome I got was a hi from Chris. I tried to talk to you, Julian, but you didn't want to hear what I had to say. You had no time for me then. You still don't now. And you fucking wonder why I hate you all so much? I was fucking tortured and you couldn't have cared less! What do I have to do to get any of you to care about me?" Craig said.
Julian reached out to grab his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I-"
"Yeah, you should be sorry! I get sent out to do your dirty work and this is the thanks I get? Fuck that. I would kill to be rid of the memories that you gave me! Every night when I go to sleep, I'm being tortured all over again! Do you know how hard that is to deal with? None of you bothered to see if I was alright! I got the impression you didn't want to know! That's why I never bothered to tell you. That's why it's been my living hell for the past few years. I hope you're fucking happy Julian. They fucking destroyed me and no one even cared. I would sacrifice everything to be free from this pain," Craig said, torn between anger and hysteria. He slumped to the floor, holding his head in his hands, curling up on himself.
The room filled with silence. Tim sat down beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry. No one should have to go through that, not even you," he said quietly.
"Please, make it stop. Take me to Andrew," Craig whispered.
"Alright. Come on then," Tim said.
Craig allowed Tim to pull him to his feet. With an arm around his shoulder, Tim led him out of the meeting room and off to find Andrew.
Andrew was in the hall with Chris, talking. Andrew was on his feet as soon as he saw Craig. Craig collapsed into Andrew's open arms, grabbing onto him tightly.
"What happened?" Andrew asked.
"He and Julian were fighting. Craig broke down, told us what had happened to him. He said he wanted me to take him to you," Tim said.
"Shit. Thanks, Tim, I'll take care of him from here," Andrew said. "Chris, do you mind?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure, whatever. I'll be here when you're ready," Chris said, glancing up from what he was reading.
Chris knew better than to fight with Andrew over this. He hated how he was slightly jealous of the attention Andrew gave Craig. He hated how a small part of his mind thought Craig was just being melodramatic and making things up in order to steal Andrew away from him. If they lived in a different world, that might be true, but Chris knew what fullwings went through, he'd seen it with his own eyes. Craig deserved all the help he could get.
Andrew didn't push Craig into talking once they'd settled down in Craig's room. Craig's wings curled around him, his knees drawn to his chest, arms wrapped protectively around them. Andrew sat beside him, waiting for him to speak.
"I didn't mean to tell them, I just wanted them to leave me alone," Craig murmured.
"Were they hassling you about Caleb again?"
Craig winced as he mentioned it. "Yeah. I love him so much. How can I just abandon him now?"
"Are they threatening to kick him out?"
"Yeah. And me. We're causing trouble, apparently. No one likes us. Typical, not even my own kind can tolerate me."
"I think there have been some severe misunderstandings between you and Julian for far too long. You really need to sort this out so we can get on with things together without fighting."
"Julian… he doesn't understand."
"That much is obvious. What doesn't he understand?"
"The one thing he accuses me of… is true." Craig buried his head in his arms, wanting the world to swallow him. He didn't even know why he said it. The words had left his mouth before he could stop them.
"What's true? What are you talking about?"
"N-Nothing, don't worry about it. It's nothing."
"No, don't you go hiding from me. What are you talking about?" Andrew shifted on the bed to face him.
Craig looked up at him. "I did steal from Julian to buy Caleb's freedom," he said at last, voice quiet and reluctant.
"You really did that? When are you going to tell Julian?"
"Not until I've got the money to pay him back. I've got about $2,300, but that's about it. I want to earn it back myself, not just take it from other people. I fucked up, I know that. I want to make it better by myself," Craig said.
"Is it really that important to you? Surely there are more important things right now than this."
Craig uncurled and reached under the bed, pulling out a large dusty tin. He brushed the dust off as he settled again. With careful fingers, he eased the lid off and set it aside. The tin was filled with money, carefully sorted into small bundles. "I promised, Andrew! I promised I'd save him! Why can't I bring freedom to him? Isn't that what we're fighting for? Freedom?"
"We're fighting for everyone's freedom, not just for individuals. Yes, he deserves to be free, no one will deny that. But we all deserve to be free," Andrew said.
"This was never going to be an easy war. No one expects we'll get what we want with one fell swoop. He's one less human being exploited for sex. That alone justifies what I did. I don't regret it for a moment, Andrew. I didn't break my promise to him," Craig said.
"You clearly love him very much. It would be wrong to ask you to give him up."
"If he goes, I go. I'm not leaving him now."
"I'll help you with the money."
"No, I don't want anyone's help. This is my problem, not yours."
"Craig, the only way we can move forward is for you and Julian to fix up the tension. We can't be divided, not now. This is just adding another distraction. We're all trying to stay alive here. If we aren't united, we'll fall apart and get massacred. Is that really what you want?"
"I'm scared. Julian'll be angry. I-"
"Craig? Sorry to barge in." As if called by the air, Julian poked his head into the room. "Andrew, mind giving us a few?"
Andrew glanced back at Craig. "Sure. Just… be gentle with him, alright?" Andrew squeezed Craig's hand. "I'll be outside, okay?"
Craig sniffed and nodded, not bothering to watch Andrew leave and Julian enter. Julian perched on the bed. Neither looked at each other.
"I'm sorry for not caring before. I thought you were alright. If I'd known what had happened, I'd have tried to help you. I didn't want you to get hurt like that. I've seen it. I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone. I'm sorry. Is it too late to help you?" Julian said, breaking the silence.
"I did take that money. I've been trying to get enough to pay you back, but it's not easy, and I didn't want you to get mad at me, because I promised, Julian, I promised to free him! I love him, Julian, more than words. If you're going to kick him out, kick me out too. I won't let him go out there on his own," Craig said, not hearing what Julian had said. He curled into himself and turned his head away from him, shoving the tin of money towards him.
"I don't care about that anymore. Keep the money. I've wronged you more than you've wronged me," Julian said, pushing the tin away.
"Liar. You're just saying that. Next meeting, you'll blast me about stealing the money and I'll yell at you and the cycle will continue," Craig murmured.
"I know we've always antagonised each other, but I think it's time we stopped this nonsense. I need you. You're as important to this rebellion as everyone else here, even Caleb's proving his worth, but we can't keep on fighting like this. I wish you hadn't lied to me about the money, but what's done is done," Julian said.
"I feel so stupid. I didn't even know you were halfwing," Craig said.
"I don't advertise it much. I'm used to pretending to be human," Julian said.
"Andrew told me about your mother. I'm sorry," Craig said.
"Don't be. It wasn't your fault," Julian said evasively. "But I didn't go through what you did, so I have no right to say I've suffered worse than you."
"I would give anything to be rid of the pain," Craig said quietly, curling up even tighter, wings closing around him.
Julian said nothing. He gently teased Craig out from himself and brought him into his arms, holding him tightly. Craig grabbed onto him, shutting his eyes tight as he tried to fight the memories away.
"I remember everything. In vivid detail. I've never been so scared in my life. I was too afraid to sleep because I thought they might kill me if I did. My knees still aren't as good as they used to be. Even now, I stay awake for days if the memories are too strong. I can't forget what they did to me," Craig whispered.
Julian held him, gently rubbing his back. "Shh, it'll be alright. I'm sorry for neglecting you. I honestly had no idea there was anything wrong. During the debrief, you never saw fit to mention anything about being arrested. I'm not a mind-reader, Craig. You seemed fine. What else was I supposed to think?"
"So scared. Cold darkness. I'm paralysed, Julian, paralysed and destroyed. They've broken me for good," Craig whispered. Indeed, Craig was shivering in Julian's arms, fingers knotted into his shirt, desperately trying to cling to reality. The memories were taking over again. Craig whimpered pathetically, sobbing against Julian's shoulder.
Julian didn't know what to say. He had only witnessed torture, albeit the torture and murder of his own fullwing mother. He'd never been subjected to it himself. "She screamed. Oh, God, did she scream. I was 14 years old. By the time they'd broken her, she was telling them whatever they wanted to hear. I sat there helplessly, too afraid stop them. S-She told me to fight. Her… Her last words. She told me to fight, just like her. They beat me up and left me for dead. I watched them dragging her broken body away as if it were a doll. I never saw my family again. I was left to fend for myself. I… I don't often tell people this, but-I don't know, maybe it might help."
Craig could hear the raw emotion in Julian's voice as he spoke. Clearly, he was still haunted by his mother's death all these years later. "Does it ever get easier to bear?"
"I wish I could say that it does. I wish I'd never been forced to watch that. No child should have to see their mother tortured and killed," Julian murmured. "I miss her every single fucking day. She-she used to sing to me, tried to hide the troubled world from us. She wouldn't let them touch me, so they turned on her instead because she was a fullwing, one of the few female fullwings to have survived. She was born outside though, she was never shut up in some tiny cage like a battery hen. She was free. She fought so hard to make sure we were brought up in freedom. Her sacrifice was greater than anyone should have to make for their children."
"I'm sorry." It was the only thing Craig could say.
"Now you know why I fight. We've both had wrongs done to us and we need to have justice. We have the same goals, the same dreams. Can we work together to achieve that?" Julian was still upset, not that Craig blamed him.
"What other choice do we have?" Craig whispered.
Both men clung to each other, trying to hide their bleeding wounds. Craig's wings curled around them both. They shed tears they didn't want anyone else to see.
From the other room, Andrew opened the door a crack, peering in at them. He smiled and closed the door silently. He turned and left them alone, not wanting to intrude further. He had a feeling things were going to be better between them from now on.
Adam found himself pulled into startling consciousness, bright lights making his head hurt. He wasn't sure how long he was out for, but it didn't seem like very long. But this time, he felt different. He didn't feel like his whole body was made of lead, and his head wasn't throbbing with pain. He felt exhausted though. He must still be lying on the bed. His eyes could see clearly this time, and he saw Hamish, Wil, Tim, and a couple of others he didn't recognise.
As soon as Hamish noticed him wake, he was over by his side. This time, Adam had the strength to hold him back, not wanting to let him go. Hamish kissed him, and Adam could sense his desperation and relief.
"I said you'd be alright, didn't I? God, I'm so glad you're alright," Hamish said, burying his face in Adam's neck.
"Hamish, hey," Adam said quietly, not sure what else to say.
"I was so worried about you. You've been sleeping a long time. I was afraid you'd never wake up," Hamish said.
"Feels good to be back. How long was I asleep?" Adam said.
"A couple of days, I think. I can't really remember. I haven't been able to sleep since you were brought back here," Hamish said.
"Shit. Yeah, now that you mention it, you do look tired. But it's ok, you can - hey, what happened to my wings?" Adam said, finally noticing his mutilated wings.
"The soldiers who dragged you into your cell hacked your wings. Stopped you flying, see? They like keeping you guys on the ground. I'm sorry they butchered them so badly. But they should grow back, yeah? I mean, they didn't actually damage the wings, did they? Just hacked at the feathers?" said one of the people Adam didn't recognise. It seemed to be a male, or was it a female? Adam couldn't tell. But he recognised the voice as the one who'd been talking to him while he was drugged. They came and sat on the bed next to Adam, taking his hand in theirs. Adam then saw just how small they were. Small and fragile, almost like a child, but clearly an adult. It was a bit weird actually.
"I remember your voice. It's one of the few things I do remember. Who are you? Why did you risk everything to save me?" Adam said.
"Dr Samantha Reddings. Sorry I didn't have time to introduce myself earlier, but you weren't in any shape to remember. I'm surprised you even remember my voice. I saved you because I knew what they were going to do to you, and I couldn't let that happen," the woman said.
"Why's that?" Adam said.
"Because I'm one of you. One of those halfbreeds. But my parents had enough money to fake my ID card, but I've been living with the knowledge all my life. They told me when I was 8, said never to tell anyone. I think a year later they disappeared. I never saw them again. The army seemed the best place to be. I could hide and appear as 'normal'. I started as a soldier before moving to intelligence and then onto biomedical research. They paid me to study medicine and become a doctor so I could also be deployed as a medical officer during warfare. I spent years devising antidotes to the drugs and poisons my superiors were making. I kept them secret. I knew they'd be needed later. And then I saw them bring you in, and I knew they'd use the new drugs on you. They'd been making a batch especially for you. I could never work out what was in it. I was never allowed to see the research notes. But it had to be nasty going by what I heard them say about it. I couldn't let them do that. I was afraid they might kill you with them. So when you were alone in your cell, an ally and I went to see you, on the grounds that we were moving you to an interrogation room to wait for the general. As doctors, we could get away with being alone with prisoners whereas soldiers couldn't. We were never suspected, though I always thought that's why I should be afraid. But when we realised how many had been brought in and that they were going to be executed quickly, we spurred our allies into action. We tried to save every last one of your men, but we were discovered before we'd gotten them all out. We escaped the barracks with the ones we did manage to save, firing back on the soldiers to stop them chasing us. We managed to smuggle out a cache of weapons and the antidotes I made, and we were damn lucky to manage that. We've been dishonourably discharged and there are calls for our arrest and execution. We're traitors now, just like you. Wil said we could stay, I hope that's alright. Sorry, I'm talking too much. Silly me, bombarding you with all this information at once and you've just woken up. I'll fill you in later when your mind's not in such a muddle," Samantha said.
"It's alright. I don't feel like I'm made of lead anymore. I just have lead piled on top of me," Adam said with a grin.
"Hey! I'm not that heavy!" Hamish said petulantly.
"You reckon hey?" Adam said, grinning at Hamish.
"Well, if you're going to be like that, I'll leave and go to bed," Hamish said with mock anger.
"Oh no you don't," Adam said, grabbing Hamish around the waist and holding him tightly. "You're not leaving just yet."
"Oh yeah? Think you can stop me?" Hamish said, trying to pull away.
"Easily," Adam said, grabbing the back of Hamish's head and pulling him in for a heated kiss.
Hamish melted, wrapping his arms around Adam's shoulders, his arms brushing against the ragged edges of the feathers. Adam felt warm and comforting, and Hamish felt a peace settle in him he hadn't felt since Adam had been rescued. If they'd been alone, Hamish would've fucked him, but Hamish wasn't an exhibitionist, so the sex would have to wait.
Adam reluctantly pulled away, leaning their foreheads together, silently praising his luck that he had escaped relatively unharmed.
"Hamish? Want to accompany me to the showers?" Adam said. Oh, you are not going to have more shower sex. "Oh, leave it. I'm not that silly. The shower sex can wait." Good boy. Remember you're still not 100%. Try not to overdo things. "Yes, mother."
"Will you quit talking to the narrator? It creeps me out, I swear," Hamish said. "You sure you don't want to eat first?"
"Hmm… Food. Might be a good idea to eat. Then we can shower," Adam said.
"Come on then. You sure you're feeling ok? I can have some food brought in if you like," Hamish said.
"I've been lying down for two days. I want to exercise my feet. Wil and Tim can fill me in over a meal," Adam said.
"I insist on giving you a check up before you go anywhere. Can't have you collapsing on us," Samantha said.
"Oh, alright. Go on, get off, Ham," Adam said.
Hamish obligingly shifted off him as Adam sat up, letting Samantha check him over. She wouldn't let him go until she was convinced he was ok, and she'd insisted on taking a couple of blood samples to test as well, just in case something odd was left over from the drugs. Adam submitted to her desires willingly, tired as he was, knowing she was just trying to help him.
Title: The Glass House
Author: Sashataakheru
Beta: The wonderful
rana_narsilion <3Fandom: The Chaser/AusComedy RPS
Starring: Adam Hills, Sepulchre (OC), Wil Anderson, Hamish Blake, Craig Reucassel, Tim Minchin, Julian Morrow, Chas Licciardello, Charles Firth, Chris Taylor, Andrew Hansen, Caleb (OC), Dr Rachel Hardy (OC), Antoinette Laurent (OC), Dr Samantha Reddings (OC), Dominic Knight, Shane Cubis, Gregor Stronach, Tim Brunero, Andy Lee
Pairings: Andrew/Chris; Adam/Hamish; Jules/Chas; Rachel/Antoinette(/Samantha); Adam/Seb; Adam/Wil; Craig/Caleb; Adam/Wil/Tim; Andrew/Craig, Wil/Chas; implied Tim/Craig, Hamish/Andy (after a fashion. XD)
Word Count: 4,759
Chapter: 17/32 [Previous]
Warnings: language, angst, mentions/descriptions of torture
Rating: FRAO
Disclaimer: I don’t know them, not associated with them, just a slashy fangirl admirer with a very active imagination.
Author’s Notes: FYI, fullwing = winged human capable of flight. Halfwing = fullwing/human halfbreed, usually unable to fly, sometimes have vestigial wings, but can be removed to pass as human and not as winged.
Summary: Craig finally admits to Julian that he was tortured before they finally settle their differences, and Adam finally wakes from his drug-induced slumber.
Chapter Seventeen
"What the fuck did you do with the money, Craig?" Julian said, storming into the meeting, angrily waving a bunch of papers at him.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Craig said, looking up from the book he was reading, distinctly uninterested. He didn't want to be at this meeting anyway, but Tim had ordered him to attend in spite of his and Andrew's protestations, so he had grabbed a book and sulked off to the meeting room, determined to make it clear he would rather be anywhere but there.
"Stop lying. How the fuck did you pay for Caleb's freedom?"
"I had some savings stored away."
"Then where's the ten grand? I trusted you to keep a check on the money. How dare you go against that trust and steal from me!" Julian threw the papers down in front of Craig.
Craig picked them up and looked at them briefly. He recognised them as financial statements, reports he'd made for Julian. "If you're so convinced I stole from you, where's your proof?"
"Caleb's my proof. You stole ten grand from me so you could buy his freedom. When have you ever had ten grand stored away?"
"Does it matter? He's not being forced into slavery anymore. That more than justifies freeing him," Craig said.
"I want him gone. He's causing trouble. The men don't like him being around. They want you gone as well. No one trusts you anymore, and I'm beginning to think they have a point. The only reason we haven't been caught yet is because we have absolute trust in each other. You're becoming a threat to that stability. You think nothing of anyone else here. You're reckless and stupid and put the rest of us at risk. We can't have you off doing whatever you want. We work together or not at all. Prove to me I can trust you or get the fuck out of my sight," Julian said.
"Prove to me that any of you care about me and I might consider staying. As it stands, none of you have ever given me any indication you even remotely care about my wellbeing. You don't like Caleb, you don't like me, what the fuck do I have to do to make any of you stop hating me?" Craig said, getting to his feet.
"You set out to antagonise us from the beginning. You tagged along, not caring about our own methods. You were more concerned about settling some personal vendetta you appear to have been carrying for years. You seem to forget that this is a group effort. We do not exist to enact revenge on your behalf. You want revenge, do it yourself. Don't drag us into it. Resources are tight as it is. We can't afford to misspend anything. We need every cent to keep the people here fed and trained. We aren't your personal bank that you can just take from at your whim," Tim said, trying to keep the argument civil.
"And I told you I didn't steal that money, so shut your fucking mouth, Tim. Yes, I have a vendetta. Show me a fullwing that doesn't. Do you think I asked for the sort of treatment I've suffered? No. So shut the fuck up and leave me be," Craig said.
"Craig, I know you're lying, and badly at that. You stole ten thousand dollars from us! And for what? To pay off your boyfriend! I could excuse it if you'd spent it on something useful, but no, you spent it on Caleb. We're already stretched for space here. You didn't even bother asking if you could bring him. This whole mess was organised behind our backs. It makes you look bad. For all we know, you're a traitor working for the Government and Caleb's some spy you've brought into our fold. We'll trust you when you trust us," Julian said.
Craig growls in frustration, slamming a fist down against the table. "What do I have to do to prove I am no traitor? Apparently everything I do is susceptible to suspicion. I have never been a traitor to you, nor will I ever become one. God, I tell you this every time this is brought up. Why won't you trust me?"
"Because, in spite of giving us your word, you act like a traitor. What are we supposed to think when we see you sneaking around? You've never co-operated with the planning. All you seem to care about is revenge, so excuse us for thinking you care about this rebellion, because that's not what your actions are telling us. We work for the good of this country, for her people. You only care about yourself. Stop being such a selfish fucker and help us for once," Tim said.
"It's not as simple as that!" Craig said.
"Yes it is. You don't have to work against us," Tim said.
"I've put up with you for a long time, Craig. Now, I don't know what your fucking problem is, but get over yourself, alright? No one is more or less important than anyone else around here, but if you continue to antagonise us, I will kick you out for the good of the rebellion, Caleb too. I need harmony. I can't have someone like you shit-stirring. Consider this your final warning. Behave yourself or you're out. And don't think I'm just saying it for the sake of saying it. I will follow through if I have to. I'll send you back to the streets where you came from, and if you dare to speak a word about the rebellion to anyone, I'll have you killed. Do not anger me further. I have enough shit to deal with without having to rein you in every fucking day. Now, I'll ask you one more time: did you or did you not steal ten thousand dollars from me to buy Caleb's freedom without my permission?" Julian said.
"No. I did not steal that money. I told you. I had some savings. I sacrificed that money for him. I regret nothing. He's better off here than back at that sluthouse," Craig said, continuing to lie through his teeth.
"You continue to lie to us, and you wonder why we don't trust you?" Julian said.
"What proof do you have that I stole from you, apart from the fact you all don't trust me?" Craig said.
"It's here in the figures. They don't add up. Ten grand is missing, and you will pay it back. You had no right to take it from us, not even for Caleb. There are more important things right now than freeing prostitutes!" Julian said.
"Yeah, like what?" Craig said.
"The rebellion, for one. Survival, for another. What the fuck is wrong with you that you can't see how important that is?" Tim said.
"There's nothing wrong with me! I'm no traitor! Why the fuck won't you trust me?" Craig said, angry that he was letting them get to him.
"What's your problem, Craig? What's eating away at you? From one fullwing to another, I know what they've done to us and I know how it eats away at you, but seriously, what did they do to you to make you so jaded?" Tim said.
"None of you even noticed! I came back after going missing for three weeks and none of you cared! None! No one said anything! Do you know what they did to me? Do any of you even care? They destroyed me in those two weeks, and you let it happen! You sent me out there! I was arrested, and-" Craig stops, unable to continue. He growls in frustration and punches the wall.
"What are you talking about? When did you go missing?" Julian said.
"It was a few years ago. You sent me out to scout one of the Army bases. I was about to leave when I was arrested. They… I was imprisoned for two weeks as they "interrogated" me. For some reason, I was released alive. I spent a week in some hospital recovering before I staggered back to the haven. I was probably in a right mess, and all the welcome I got was a hi from Chris. I tried to talk to you, Julian, but you didn't want to hear what I had to say. You had no time for me then. You still don't now. And you fucking wonder why I hate you all so much? I was fucking tortured and you couldn't have cared less! What do I have to do to get any of you to care about me?" Craig said.
Julian reached out to grab his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I-"
"Yeah, you should be sorry! I get sent out to do your dirty work and this is the thanks I get? Fuck that. I would kill to be rid of the memories that you gave me! Every night when I go to sleep, I'm being tortured all over again! Do you know how hard that is to deal with? None of you bothered to see if I was alright! I got the impression you didn't want to know! That's why I never bothered to tell you. That's why it's been my living hell for the past few years. I hope you're fucking happy Julian. They fucking destroyed me and no one even cared. I would sacrifice everything to be free from this pain," Craig said, torn between anger and hysteria. He slumped to the floor, holding his head in his hands, curling up on himself.
The room filled with silence. Tim sat down beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry. No one should have to go through that, not even you," he said quietly.
"Please, make it stop. Take me to Andrew," Craig whispered.
"Alright. Come on then," Tim said.
Craig allowed Tim to pull him to his feet. With an arm around his shoulder, Tim led him out of the meeting room and off to find Andrew.
Andrew was in the hall with Chris, talking. Andrew was on his feet as soon as he saw Craig. Craig collapsed into Andrew's open arms, grabbing onto him tightly.
"What happened?" Andrew asked.
"He and Julian were fighting. Craig broke down, told us what had happened to him. He said he wanted me to take him to you," Tim said.
"Shit. Thanks, Tim, I'll take care of him from here," Andrew said. "Chris, do you mind?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure, whatever. I'll be here when you're ready," Chris said, glancing up from what he was reading.
Chris knew better than to fight with Andrew over this. He hated how he was slightly jealous of the attention Andrew gave Craig. He hated how a small part of his mind thought Craig was just being melodramatic and making things up in order to steal Andrew away from him. If they lived in a different world, that might be true, but Chris knew what fullwings went through, he'd seen it with his own eyes. Craig deserved all the help he could get.
Andrew didn't push Craig into talking once they'd settled down in Craig's room. Craig's wings curled around him, his knees drawn to his chest, arms wrapped protectively around them. Andrew sat beside him, waiting for him to speak.
"I didn't mean to tell them, I just wanted them to leave me alone," Craig murmured.
"Were they hassling you about Caleb again?"
Craig winced as he mentioned it. "Yeah. I love him so much. How can I just abandon him now?"
"Are they threatening to kick him out?"
"Yeah. And me. We're causing trouble, apparently. No one likes us. Typical, not even my own kind can tolerate me."
"I think there have been some severe misunderstandings between you and Julian for far too long. You really need to sort this out so we can get on with things together without fighting."
"Julian… he doesn't understand."
"That much is obvious. What doesn't he understand?"
"The one thing he accuses me of… is true." Craig buried his head in his arms, wanting the world to swallow him. He didn't even know why he said it. The words had left his mouth before he could stop them.
"What's true? What are you talking about?"
"N-Nothing, don't worry about it. It's nothing."
"No, don't you go hiding from me. What are you talking about?" Andrew shifted on the bed to face him.
Craig looked up at him. "I did steal from Julian to buy Caleb's freedom," he said at last, voice quiet and reluctant.
"You really did that? When are you going to tell Julian?"
"Not until I've got the money to pay him back. I've got about $2,300, but that's about it. I want to earn it back myself, not just take it from other people. I fucked up, I know that. I want to make it better by myself," Craig said.
"Is it really that important to you? Surely there are more important things right now than this."
Craig uncurled and reached under the bed, pulling out a large dusty tin. He brushed the dust off as he settled again. With careful fingers, he eased the lid off and set it aside. The tin was filled with money, carefully sorted into small bundles. "I promised, Andrew! I promised I'd save him! Why can't I bring freedom to him? Isn't that what we're fighting for? Freedom?"
"We're fighting for everyone's freedom, not just for individuals. Yes, he deserves to be free, no one will deny that. But we all deserve to be free," Andrew said.
"This was never going to be an easy war. No one expects we'll get what we want with one fell swoop. He's one less human being exploited for sex. That alone justifies what I did. I don't regret it for a moment, Andrew. I didn't break my promise to him," Craig said.
"You clearly love him very much. It would be wrong to ask you to give him up."
"If he goes, I go. I'm not leaving him now."
"I'll help you with the money."
"No, I don't want anyone's help. This is my problem, not yours."
"Craig, the only way we can move forward is for you and Julian to fix up the tension. We can't be divided, not now. This is just adding another distraction. We're all trying to stay alive here. If we aren't united, we'll fall apart and get massacred. Is that really what you want?"
"I'm scared. Julian'll be angry. I-"
"Craig? Sorry to barge in." As if called by the air, Julian poked his head into the room. "Andrew, mind giving us a few?"
Andrew glanced back at Craig. "Sure. Just… be gentle with him, alright?" Andrew squeezed Craig's hand. "I'll be outside, okay?"
Craig sniffed and nodded, not bothering to watch Andrew leave and Julian enter. Julian perched on the bed. Neither looked at each other.
"I'm sorry for not caring before. I thought you were alright. If I'd known what had happened, I'd have tried to help you. I didn't want you to get hurt like that. I've seen it. I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone. I'm sorry. Is it too late to help you?" Julian said, breaking the silence.
"I did take that money. I've been trying to get enough to pay you back, but it's not easy, and I didn't want you to get mad at me, because I promised, Julian, I promised to free him! I love him, Julian, more than words. If you're going to kick him out, kick me out too. I won't let him go out there on his own," Craig said, not hearing what Julian had said. He curled into himself and turned his head away from him, shoving the tin of money towards him.
"I don't care about that anymore. Keep the money. I've wronged you more than you've wronged me," Julian said, pushing the tin away.
"Liar. You're just saying that. Next meeting, you'll blast me about stealing the money and I'll yell at you and the cycle will continue," Craig murmured.
"I know we've always antagonised each other, but I think it's time we stopped this nonsense. I need you. You're as important to this rebellion as everyone else here, even Caleb's proving his worth, but we can't keep on fighting like this. I wish you hadn't lied to me about the money, but what's done is done," Julian said.
"I feel so stupid. I didn't even know you were halfwing," Craig said.
"I don't advertise it much. I'm used to pretending to be human," Julian said.
"Andrew told me about your mother. I'm sorry," Craig said.
"Don't be. It wasn't your fault," Julian said evasively. "But I didn't go through what you did, so I have no right to say I've suffered worse than you."
"I would give anything to be rid of the pain," Craig said quietly, curling up even tighter, wings closing around him.
Julian said nothing. He gently teased Craig out from himself and brought him into his arms, holding him tightly. Craig grabbed onto him, shutting his eyes tight as he tried to fight the memories away.
"I remember everything. In vivid detail. I've never been so scared in my life. I was too afraid to sleep because I thought they might kill me if I did. My knees still aren't as good as they used to be. Even now, I stay awake for days if the memories are too strong. I can't forget what they did to me," Craig whispered.
Julian held him, gently rubbing his back. "Shh, it'll be alright. I'm sorry for neglecting you. I honestly had no idea there was anything wrong. During the debrief, you never saw fit to mention anything about being arrested. I'm not a mind-reader, Craig. You seemed fine. What else was I supposed to think?"
"So scared. Cold darkness. I'm paralysed, Julian, paralysed and destroyed. They've broken me for good," Craig whispered. Indeed, Craig was shivering in Julian's arms, fingers knotted into his shirt, desperately trying to cling to reality. The memories were taking over again. Craig whimpered pathetically, sobbing against Julian's shoulder.
Julian didn't know what to say. He had only witnessed torture, albeit the torture and murder of his own fullwing mother. He'd never been subjected to it himself. "She screamed. Oh, God, did she scream. I was 14 years old. By the time they'd broken her, she was telling them whatever they wanted to hear. I sat there helplessly, too afraid stop them. S-She told me to fight. Her… Her last words. She told me to fight, just like her. They beat me up and left me for dead. I watched them dragging her broken body away as if it were a doll. I never saw my family again. I was left to fend for myself. I… I don't often tell people this, but-I don't know, maybe it might help."
Craig could hear the raw emotion in Julian's voice as he spoke. Clearly, he was still haunted by his mother's death all these years later. "Does it ever get easier to bear?"
"I wish I could say that it does. I wish I'd never been forced to watch that. No child should have to see their mother tortured and killed," Julian murmured. "I miss her every single fucking day. She-she used to sing to me, tried to hide the troubled world from us. She wouldn't let them touch me, so they turned on her instead because she was a fullwing, one of the few female fullwings to have survived. She was born outside though, she was never shut up in some tiny cage like a battery hen. She was free. She fought so hard to make sure we were brought up in freedom. Her sacrifice was greater than anyone should have to make for their children."
"I'm sorry." It was the only thing Craig could say.
"Now you know why I fight. We've both had wrongs done to us and we need to have justice. We have the same goals, the same dreams. Can we work together to achieve that?" Julian was still upset, not that Craig blamed him.
"What other choice do we have?" Craig whispered.
Both men clung to each other, trying to hide their bleeding wounds. Craig's wings curled around them both. They shed tears they didn't want anyone else to see.
From the other room, Andrew opened the door a crack, peering in at them. He smiled and closed the door silently. He turned and left them alone, not wanting to intrude further. He had a feeling things were going to be better between them from now on.
Adam found himself pulled into startling consciousness, bright lights making his head hurt. He wasn't sure how long he was out for, but it didn't seem like very long. But this time, he felt different. He didn't feel like his whole body was made of lead, and his head wasn't throbbing with pain. He felt exhausted though. He must still be lying on the bed. His eyes could see clearly this time, and he saw Hamish, Wil, Tim, and a couple of others he didn't recognise.
As soon as Hamish noticed him wake, he was over by his side. This time, Adam had the strength to hold him back, not wanting to let him go. Hamish kissed him, and Adam could sense his desperation and relief.
"I said you'd be alright, didn't I? God, I'm so glad you're alright," Hamish said, burying his face in Adam's neck.
"Hamish, hey," Adam said quietly, not sure what else to say.
"I was so worried about you. You've been sleeping a long time. I was afraid you'd never wake up," Hamish said.
"Feels good to be back. How long was I asleep?" Adam said.
"A couple of days, I think. I can't really remember. I haven't been able to sleep since you were brought back here," Hamish said.
"Shit. Yeah, now that you mention it, you do look tired. But it's ok, you can - hey, what happened to my wings?" Adam said, finally noticing his mutilated wings.
"The soldiers who dragged you into your cell hacked your wings. Stopped you flying, see? They like keeping you guys on the ground. I'm sorry they butchered them so badly. But they should grow back, yeah? I mean, they didn't actually damage the wings, did they? Just hacked at the feathers?" said one of the people Adam didn't recognise. It seemed to be a male, or was it a female? Adam couldn't tell. But he recognised the voice as the one who'd been talking to him while he was drugged. They came and sat on the bed next to Adam, taking his hand in theirs. Adam then saw just how small they were. Small and fragile, almost like a child, but clearly an adult. It was a bit weird actually.
"I remember your voice. It's one of the few things I do remember. Who are you? Why did you risk everything to save me?" Adam said.
"Dr Samantha Reddings. Sorry I didn't have time to introduce myself earlier, but you weren't in any shape to remember. I'm surprised you even remember my voice. I saved you because I knew what they were going to do to you, and I couldn't let that happen," the woman said.
"Why's that?" Adam said.
"Because I'm one of you. One of those halfbreeds. But my parents had enough money to fake my ID card, but I've been living with the knowledge all my life. They told me when I was 8, said never to tell anyone. I think a year later they disappeared. I never saw them again. The army seemed the best place to be. I could hide and appear as 'normal'. I started as a soldier before moving to intelligence and then onto biomedical research. They paid me to study medicine and become a doctor so I could also be deployed as a medical officer during warfare. I spent years devising antidotes to the drugs and poisons my superiors were making. I kept them secret. I knew they'd be needed later. And then I saw them bring you in, and I knew they'd use the new drugs on you. They'd been making a batch especially for you. I could never work out what was in it. I was never allowed to see the research notes. But it had to be nasty going by what I heard them say about it. I couldn't let them do that. I was afraid they might kill you with them. So when you were alone in your cell, an ally and I went to see you, on the grounds that we were moving you to an interrogation room to wait for the general. As doctors, we could get away with being alone with prisoners whereas soldiers couldn't. We were never suspected, though I always thought that's why I should be afraid. But when we realised how many had been brought in and that they were going to be executed quickly, we spurred our allies into action. We tried to save every last one of your men, but we were discovered before we'd gotten them all out. We escaped the barracks with the ones we did manage to save, firing back on the soldiers to stop them chasing us. We managed to smuggle out a cache of weapons and the antidotes I made, and we were damn lucky to manage that. We've been dishonourably discharged and there are calls for our arrest and execution. We're traitors now, just like you. Wil said we could stay, I hope that's alright. Sorry, I'm talking too much. Silly me, bombarding you with all this information at once and you've just woken up. I'll fill you in later when your mind's not in such a muddle," Samantha said.
"It's alright. I don't feel like I'm made of lead anymore. I just have lead piled on top of me," Adam said with a grin.
"Hey! I'm not that heavy!" Hamish said petulantly.
"You reckon hey?" Adam said, grinning at Hamish.
"Well, if you're going to be like that, I'll leave and go to bed," Hamish said with mock anger.
"Oh no you don't," Adam said, grabbing Hamish around the waist and holding him tightly. "You're not leaving just yet."
"Oh yeah? Think you can stop me?" Hamish said, trying to pull away.
"Easily," Adam said, grabbing the back of Hamish's head and pulling him in for a heated kiss.
Hamish melted, wrapping his arms around Adam's shoulders, his arms brushing against the ragged edges of the feathers. Adam felt warm and comforting, and Hamish felt a peace settle in him he hadn't felt since Adam had been rescued. If they'd been alone, Hamish would've fucked him, but Hamish wasn't an exhibitionist, so the sex would have to wait.
Adam reluctantly pulled away, leaning their foreheads together, silently praising his luck that he had escaped relatively unharmed.
"Hamish? Want to accompany me to the showers?" Adam said. Oh, you are not going to have more shower sex. "Oh, leave it. I'm not that silly. The shower sex can wait." Good boy. Remember you're still not 100%. Try not to overdo things. "Yes, mother."
"Will you quit talking to the narrator? It creeps me out, I swear," Hamish said. "You sure you don't want to eat first?"
"Hmm… Food. Might be a good idea to eat. Then we can shower," Adam said.
"Come on then. You sure you're feeling ok? I can have some food brought in if you like," Hamish said.
"I've been lying down for two days. I want to exercise my feet. Wil and Tim can fill me in over a meal," Adam said.
"I insist on giving you a check up before you go anywhere. Can't have you collapsing on us," Samantha said.
"Oh, alright. Go on, get off, Ham," Adam said.
Hamish obligingly shifted off him as Adam sat up, letting Samantha check him over. She wouldn't let him go until she was convinced he was ok, and she'd insisted on taking a couple of blood samples to test as well, just in case something odd was left over from the drugs. Adam submitted to her desires willingly, tired as he was, knowing she was just trying to help him.