Sashataakheru (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wolfanfics) wrote2006-01-23 06:53 pm
wolfanfics) wrote2006-01-23 06:53 pm
No Doubt/Placebo - By The Way, My Sweet Prince: Book Six
Title: Through The Years: Leaving The Dragon’s Keep pt 1
Author: sashataakheru
Fandoms: No Doubt/Placebo RPS
Starring: Tom Dumont, Tony Kanal, Gwen Stefani, Adrian Young, Brian Molko, Stefan Olsdal, Steve Hewitt
Pairing: Tom/Tony
Previous: 1 - Punishment and Tears | 2 - Strangers And Jealousy | 3 - When The Bad Times Come | 4 - The Traitor Returns | 5 - As A Phoenix Reborn |
Warnings: violence, D/s themes, implied drug use
Word Count: 4,116
Disclaimer: Not true in any way, shape or form
Author's Notes: Setting is... SE Californian desert, near Palm Springs (IIRC). Based on a Placebo fic with a similar theme. This one took it's own journey though.
Summary: Tom reflects on his time in the mansion and how Adrian and Tony fell in and out of their Mistress' favour.
Through The Years: Leaving The Dragon’s Keep pt 1
For years, I’d known she had no love for me. Though I tried not to dwell on it, I knew one day I’d leave the mansion to meet my death when she felt I was no longer useful or valuable. It was scary, but inevitable. In a sense, it was a blessing, as it signalled an end to a hard and brutal life. Hopefully, it’d be quick and relatively painless.
I was getting old, I admit it. I was near 40 by my calculations, pretty old for a domestic servant such as myself. I could feel it in my bones. Age was getting to me, and I’m sure I wasn’t the most healthiest of specimens. Surely, she wouldn’t keep me around much longer. She hardly used me anyway. My work for Stefan wasn’t all that taxing, just long, repetitive and tedious. We started work around 8 am, and finished near midnight. You wouldn’t have thought High Servants had a lot of work to do, but there was everything from keeping things in order, disciplining unruly and rebellious servants (those that we were allowed to punish, anyway), to making sure the food was in good supply. Everything required for running a large mansion properly. I was often sent on errands, and travelled through most parts of the mansion.
As long as I could remember, I’d been here at the mansion. I couldn’t remember any memories outside the mansion except college, where I’d been sent as part of my training to learn to play guitar for her. I was surprised she let me keep those memories, as they were by far the only memories of life outside the mansion I had, and they were wonderful memories. I suppose it was like a test too, to see if I’d been trained well enough not to run away and return to her at the end of the day. And I did so gladly. Pleasing her was all I lived for, and back then, she still loved me. I’d stay on campus during semester and return to her during break to serve her. She still had plenty of servants then, so my presence wasn’t always required. Our training covered a lot of skills, not just our obedience and submission to her.
I was actually really sad once college was over because it meant I’d be back in the mansion full-time and I’d never see the outside world again. I’d never feel the sun on my face, the wind against my skin. Nothing like that. I was condemned to darkness and servitude.
Yet, I gladly returned to her, as I believed she was the only one who cared for me. She was the only one on whom I could rely. She was my whole world. Even back then, my memories of the outside world had begun to fade. I think it was a technique she used so that if her servants escaped, they would only know to come back to the mansion, their families and friends seemingly non-existent. It worked, too.
There was one day in summer just after I’d returned from college. Adrian was just one of us back then, not in his elevated position as he was later on. He’d taken the most energy to tame, as he resolutely resisted her for years. Our Mistress spent the longest taming him. He escaped one night. His desire to be free from her was obviously still strong then. It was the fifth time he’d escaped. The first time it had taken us two weeks to find him and bring him back. Since then, it had taken less time to round him up each time, 8 days, 5 days, and 2 days.
I remember being so frightened for him, as was Ton. We had been there longer and we’d submitted to her rule easier than he had. He’d always been punished each time he’d escaped, and we guessed that she wouldn’t let this behaviour go on too long. We watched him creep out of our room and slip into the night. We were scared, but we wanted to bring him back, so we crept out after him. We followed him all the way through the silent house to the abandoned wing. None of us spoke. We watched him pull out a bag from beneath the floorboards and silently work a window open.
“Adrian, don’t go. She’ll find you and kill you,” Ton said quietly.
“Fuck you, guys. I’m outta here. You two will die here within 10 years, while I’ll be out there living a free and happy life. This isn’t the place for me, weak, pathetic bitches,” Adrian said as he vanished out of the window.
We ran over to the window to see him climbing down the building before running across the grounds into the night.
“We should get out of here. I don’t want her to-”
“Find you?”
We turned around and there she stood. I wasn’t really surprised, but I was frightened. I knew she could easily punish us for this. We immediately bowed and knelt at her feet, hiding our faces. We didn’t dare speak.
“Now, would you care to tell me why that window is open? And why two slaves such as yourselves are out of bed and wandering around at night?”
“It’s Adrian, Mistress. He escaped, Mistress. We tried to stop him, but he left. We knew it was wrong to leave you, Mistress,” I said, too scared to lie to her.
“He escaped? Well, well. His will is strong, but not strong enough. You two will go after him. I’ll provide you will whatever you’ll need. I’ll send two of my guards with you to bring him back. When he returns, he will be sorely punished. No one escapes and lives to tell the story. Get dressed, you two, in what’s waiting on your beds for you. Run back to your rooms and do not wake anyone. Get yourselves to the front entrance in ten minutes. One second late and there’ll be pain.”
And with that, she left. We didn’t dare move until we couldn’t hear her footsteps any more. We did as she asked. We ran back to our rooms and quickly pulled on the clothes that were indeed waiting for us: combat outfits. We only ever got them when we were sent out to retrieve our own; hence, it was only then that she provided them for us. They weren’t obviously militaristic, just black and green with good, sturdy boots, and a cache of equipment. It was enough to be practical, yet nothing that would stand out in daylight. We were provided with handguns in case things got violent. Shoot to kill was a very last resort. We made our way to the front entrance as quickly as we could only to find two guards waiting to escort us as we went after Adrian.
She had trained us in this, of course. She trained us all in how to track people, in case we had to go after one of our own. She desired that we should find escapees, rather than anyone outside the mansion. It was simply another aspect of our training. We knew what we had to do. We were taught how to fight, how to serve, how to track people, how to kill. We had become servant soldiers, equally skilled at keeping the mansion running and fighting if it came to that. Our devotion was drilled into us and we would have fought to the death to defend our Mistress and our home.
A few minutes after we’d arrived, she graced us with her presence to send us off.
“Find him. Bring him back to me. Alive. I do not want to see him unnecessarily harmed. I have plans for that wretch. Get going. Do not return without him. The guards have the required cash, should you need it. I want him back. Now.”
At her words, we left the mansion, heading round to the back where we’d seen him leave, going by the sheds to get motorbikes to speed things up. Any advantage would help. We could cover the ground he’d covered in at least half the time. We could see his footprints in the dewy grass. We followed the footprints off into the night, following them into the forest. He couldn’t have gotten far. He had a 20-minute head start, yet there was only the forest in the way. But, if he’d been paying attention to the maps during training, which I had no doubt he was if he’d been planing this escape, then he’d know how to get out of the forest fast. We knew the forest too, and what we’d find once we left the forest.
He was obviously more concerned about escaping fast rather than trying to throw us off his trail as he indeed took the fast route out of the forest exactly and in 15 minutes, we found ourselves at the highway. One way led to the desert, the other, into town. If he’d managed to hitch a ride, he could be well ahead of us by now. If not, then he was still going on foot.
“Where to now? Which way did he go, do you think?” Ton said.
“I’m inclined to think he went towards town. Oh wait, there’s some tracks. He obviously couldn’t decide either. How bout we split up and trace back either way just in case he decided to trick us. If he’s walking on the road, we’ll have no tracks. If he’s on foot, we’ll find him,” I said.
“Sounds good. You take the desert. We’ll head into town. Go back as far as the first town and ask about, then head back if you find nothing. We’ll meet back here at dawn. He can’t have gone far,” Ton said, revving his bike and speeding off down the highway with one of the guards.
We headed off in the other direction, travelling down the highway towards the desert. After an hour, we came to a town. We had been keeping an eye out for him on the roadside, and hadn’t spotted him. There was no vegetation either side of the road, nothing except small shrubby bushes and the odd tree. Streetlights were non-existent along this part of the highway. But, if he’d decided to head away from the road, we’d know, though in the darkness we found nothing to suggest he’d headed away from the highway.
The town we arrived at was small, nothing more than a gas station, a pub, a collection of houses, caravans and their ilk, and a few small shops. It took us less than 10 minutes to cover the whole town, finding no trace of Adrian. Everyone in the town has congregated at the pub, it seemed, and no one had seen him. With that, we headed back to towards town, meaning to head back to the spot where we were gonna meet.
We were about half way back when I noticed a dark lump slumped against a tree, facing away from the road. The clouds had cleared and the moonlight lit the ground up, which is probably why I didn’t see it before. I signalled the guard and we pulled up. It may not have been him, it may not even have been a person, but we had to check it out, just to make sure. The lights from our bikes lit up the tree as we approached. It was a few meters from the side of the highway, which might have explained how we didn’t see it in the first place. As I had rightly guessed, that dark lump was Adrian. He was dirty and crying, huddled up against the tree, his bare feet cut and bleeding. I got off my bike to approach him, kicking the stand and resting the helmet on the handlebars.
“Adrian, time to go home,” I said, kneeling beside him.
He looked up at me, tears streaking down his dirty face. “Home? With Mistress?” he said, his eyes full of confusion.
“Yeah, to Mistress. Where were you going, Adrian?” I said.
“I thought I knew where… where home – was. Where’s Mistress? Have to get back to her. I want my mother back,” he said, his confusion leaving as he realised where he wanted to be.
“Come with me, we’ll get you home,” I said, pulling him to his feet.
He clutched onto me as we walked over to the bike. I pulled him on behind me, cuffing his hands around my waist to make sure he didn’t escape again and so he didn’t fall off the bike. I could feel him leaning against me, and I smiled as I pulled my helmet on, knowing his will had finally broken and he’d never escape again. I revved the engine on the bike and, kicking the stand up, sped off back towards our meeting place, the guard following close behind me.
Ton and the other guard were waiting for us when we pulled up. They’d obviously found no trace of him and had headed back to wait for us. We didn’t need to speak as we pulled up and they saw Adrian slumped against me on the bike. We headed back to the mansion, knowing our job was done. We were gone no more than three hours.
Pulling up at the sheds to stow the bikes, Ton and I walked him to our Mistress, leaving the guards to make sure the bikes had been put away properly. We went in through the front entrance, finding her waiting for us. We gently lowered him to his knees at her feet, taking a few steps back to kneel before her, our heads bowed.
Adrian looked up at her and clutched onto her, happy to be home, no doubt. I looked up slightly to see her holding him back.
“Sorry, mother. I ran away again. But, I won’t run away again, not ever. I’m home now,” he said. I could hear how sorry he was.
“Don’t worry, love. You’re back now. Maybe I won’t punish you tonight. You still ran away, didn’t you?”
“Yes, Mistress, I did. I did bad again. I ran away.”
“Well, go with Tom and Tony and rest up. I’ll call for you in the morning once I’ve had some sleep, then I’ll deal with you, ok?”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“Well done, you two,” she said to us. “Go and get changed. I’ll have a meal sent to you and you can sleep today. I’ll call you for work in 24 hours. You’ve done some good work tonight. Go on, get outta here. I’ll deal with him in the morning. Just don’t forget about what you’ve done, Adrian,” she said, smiling at us before giving a knowing glare to Adrian.
We looked up at her, daring to smile back, knowing she was pleased with us for the moment. Twenty-four hours of rest was a very generous reward, considering how long we’d been gone. We didn’t dare say so, though. Twenty-four hours rest was twenty-four hours rest, and we’d happily take whatever reward she deigned give us. Bowing and touching our heads to the ground, we said our “thankyou Mistress” and hurried off to rest, glad of the time we had spare. We heard Adrian running behind us.
We got to our room and dared to be excited about our rewarded time off. I tackled Ton and wrestled him onto the bed, tickling him, relishing in his laughter and happiness. He tried to fight free of me, but I just held him down as I tickled his feet. I can’t remember another time when we’d been as happy as we’d been then. Well, Ton and me anyway. Adrian was quiet as anything.
As for the meals, they were surprisingly good, considering our position, and they were hot too. We wolfed them down, not leaving a scrap. She’d gifted us very generous portions too. Meals like that were few and far between for us, especially when she stopped loving me.
By the time our food arrived, we’d calmed down considerably, lying beside each other as we stared up at the ceiling, wondering what we’d do with the time we had. Sleep was inevitable, but we were far too elated to sleep then. We lay together on his bed once we’d finished eating. He was lying on top of me, staring into my eyes. I think we both silently agreed some relief was in store, considering we had a rare 24-hour break. All it took was a spontaneous kiss from Ton and our frenzied making out was triggered.
Adrian sulked in a corner, knowing he was still to be punished for running away again. He hardly ate his meal, crying as he was, pathetically picking at his food. I could see it in his eyes. He was hers now, and he knew it. He accepted his position. She’d finally broken his will. It had only taken 3 years, longer than any other servant. I hated to think what was in store for him when she called for him, though. I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant, but since he’d finally broken, she might be lenient.
At that time, we’d been close, Ton and I. Ton didn’t push me away when I tried to be with him, as we still worked together then. He wasn’t favoured, and I wasn’t neglected. It could only have been a few years into our service, and, back then, we were still just ordinary servants, like most in the mansion. We both felt the attraction between us, but only ever let it be physical. Any sort of emotional bond wouldn’t be tolerated, but we did dare to comfort each other, if only occasionally when we couldn’t bear the frustration any longer. It’s not like either of us were chosen to please our Mistress, so any pleasure we got we gave to each other, hoping no one found out.
The general consensus among the servants was that it was tolerated, but looked down upon as filthy and depraved, since we were mere servants and we didn’t deserve such sexual pleasures. She didn’t know, but I suppose she probably figured we’d mess around. I mean, if we got no attention from her, we’d turn to each other. Male/female pairings were much more tolerated than same sex pairings, though the latter were far more common since we often were bunked together with other servants of the same sex. It was always gonna happen, though it was something definitely not discussed.
Though I was, and have never been, favoured by her, Ton was, but, at the time, his extra duties only involved dancing for her. She had others to please her. She only wanted him to dance for her, feminising him and making him wear beautiful saris, jewellery and makeup. She used to call him her little Ashwinha, her little Indian dancing girl. God, I’m almost crying at the memories. She was giving him hormones to make him grow breasts to help with the feminisation. He ended up with these cute small breasts. They weren’t huge, but they were big and perky enough to be noticeable. He had gorgeous long black hair then, kept on her orders, and when he was all dressed up, he was amazingly beautiful.
He had such grace, and he moved so freely, as if he were made to dance. I only ever witnessed his dancing once, but I’ve never seen any of her dancers better him. That may have been the start of my infatuation with him, seeing him dancing so beautifully, the silks glistening and blurring together, the gold jewellery sparkling in the light, seeing him move so freely, so fluidly, so gracefully. I’ve never seen anyone dance like that again.
After a year or so, he constantly saw himself as female. He was her little girl. Though she did nothing to make him physically female, I think that was another way to keep him under control, that she wasn’t fully female and she desperately wanted to be. His cock became a sign of shame, and we never fooled around after that. He couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He danced for her for 5 years before she got bored with him and demoted him to a regular servant again. I found out when he was brought back to our room by a couple of guards. I saw that he was crying, that his makeup was running down his cheeks. The guards beat him up before leaving him sobbing on the floor, stripping him of the sari and everything else he was wearing, including the makeup, which was roughly wiped off with a cloth. One of them held him firmly while the other cut his beautiful hair off. I cried. It was too much, such brutal torture, to lose his hair like that. They shaved him bald before kicking him in the stomach and taking away all the fine clothes and jewellery, yelling insults at him as they left.
I ran over to him once we were alone and pulled him into my arms. “Ton, has she-?”
“She fucking hates me! No more dancing! Gods, how will I cope? How else can I please my Mistress? Look at me! I’m an ugly, pathetic excuse of a girl!” Ton said, looking into my eyes for comfort.
I just held him. What else could I do? I couldn’t find anything to say to him. He’d loved the dancing. To have it taken away from him was more than he could bear, especially now that he’d lost his hair too. He picked up the remnants of his hair in his shaking hands, tears rolling down his cheeks. He turned his head away, unable to look at it, the hair slipping through his fingers.
Without the hormone injections, he was worse to get along with than he used to be. He was moody, temperamental, and severely depressed. He grieved over his hair the most. Nothing I could do helped him. I just had to hope he’d eventually readjust. I had to remind him who he was, and that Ashwinha was gone. That and it was too hard to refer to him as if he was still a girl, now that he was without the clothes, that beautiful long hair and the makeup. But, really, Ashwinha was never really gone, lying dormant inside him, that beautiful, carefree, happy girl that danced like she was born to dance. I only glimpsed her every so often when his eyes shone with joy and Ashwinha came to the fore, desperately asking to be released.
I don’t think he ever really got over those 5 years living as a girl. I think Ashwinha became an alter ego of sorts, a separate female part of him. It was weird. He was never the same afterwards. The old Ton I loved never came back. He always thought that he wasn’t good enough to be male or female. Ashwinha's influence and presence made him feel less of a man, and his cock was a constant reminder that he wasn't a woman. He felt he couldn’t win. He was some freak of nature, of her creation, not good enough for either sex. He still referred to himself as male, as that’s what I and everyone else did. It was different when he was alone. I could tell. He was confused, always confused. He felt he didn’t belong anywhere, not male, not female. He didn’t take too well to being so confused.
But, I lost track of him when he became her favoured one. He moved out of our little room, as Adrian had done a year earlier when he had been promoted, leaving me all alone in that room. Wait, the first year he did still stay with me, but after that, he was kept away from me. He only came back to me 5 years later, still favoured but finally bringing me some company.
I… the memories are rather sketchy, and dates are hard to authenticate. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. There's much more to tell, but for the moment, I have to stop. The pain in my heart aches and burns. I have very few happy memories from those years under her rule. This is where it stops, least for the moment. Life outside the mansion has brought its own set of pain and bad memories, the most painful being Ton's death, but I can't bear to write about it now. My heart can't bear the pain any longer.
Goodbye for the moment,
Tom.
Author: sashataakheru
Fandoms: No Doubt/Placebo RPS
Starring: Tom Dumont, Tony Kanal, Gwen Stefani, Adrian Young, Brian Molko, Stefan Olsdal, Steve Hewitt
Pairing: Tom/Tony
Previous: 1 - Punishment and Tears | 2 - Strangers And Jealousy | 3 - When The Bad Times Come | 4 - The Traitor Returns | 5 - As A Phoenix Reborn |
Warnings: violence, D/s themes, implied drug use
Word Count: 4,116
Disclaimer: Not true in any way, shape or form
Author's Notes: Setting is... SE Californian desert, near Palm Springs (IIRC). Based on a Placebo fic with a similar theme. This one took it's own journey though.
Summary: Tom reflects on his time in the mansion and how Adrian and Tony fell in and out of their Mistress' favour.
Through The Years: Leaving The Dragon’s Keep pt 1
For years, I’d known she had no love for me. Though I tried not to dwell on it, I knew one day I’d leave the mansion to meet my death when she felt I was no longer useful or valuable. It was scary, but inevitable. In a sense, it was a blessing, as it signalled an end to a hard and brutal life. Hopefully, it’d be quick and relatively painless.
I was getting old, I admit it. I was near 40 by my calculations, pretty old for a domestic servant such as myself. I could feel it in my bones. Age was getting to me, and I’m sure I wasn’t the most healthiest of specimens. Surely, she wouldn’t keep me around much longer. She hardly used me anyway. My work for Stefan wasn’t all that taxing, just long, repetitive and tedious. We started work around 8 am, and finished near midnight. You wouldn’t have thought High Servants had a lot of work to do, but there was everything from keeping things in order, disciplining unruly and rebellious servants (those that we were allowed to punish, anyway), to making sure the food was in good supply. Everything required for running a large mansion properly. I was often sent on errands, and travelled through most parts of the mansion.
As long as I could remember, I’d been here at the mansion. I couldn’t remember any memories outside the mansion except college, where I’d been sent as part of my training to learn to play guitar for her. I was surprised she let me keep those memories, as they were by far the only memories of life outside the mansion I had, and they were wonderful memories. I suppose it was like a test too, to see if I’d been trained well enough not to run away and return to her at the end of the day. And I did so gladly. Pleasing her was all I lived for, and back then, she still loved me. I’d stay on campus during semester and return to her during break to serve her. She still had plenty of servants then, so my presence wasn’t always required. Our training covered a lot of skills, not just our obedience and submission to her.
I was actually really sad once college was over because it meant I’d be back in the mansion full-time and I’d never see the outside world again. I’d never feel the sun on my face, the wind against my skin. Nothing like that. I was condemned to darkness and servitude.
Yet, I gladly returned to her, as I believed she was the only one who cared for me. She was the only one on whom I could rely. She was my whole world. Even back then, my memories of the outside world had begun to fade. I think it was a technique she used so that if her servants escaped, they would only know to come back to the mansion, their families and friends seemingly non-existent. It worked, too.
There was one day in summer just after I’d returned from college. Adrian was just one of us back then, not in his elevated position as he was later on. He’d taken the most energy to tame, as he resolutely resisted her for years. Our Mistress spent the longest taming him. He escaped one night. His desire to be free from her was obviously still strong then. It was the fifth time he’d escaped. The first time it had taken us two weeks to find him and bring him back. Since then, it had taken less time to round him up each time, 8 days, 5 days, and 2 days.
I remember being so frightened for him, as was Ton. We had been there longer and we’d submitted to her rule easier than he had. He’d always been punished each time he’d escaped, and we guessed that she wouldn’t let this behaviour go on too long. We watched him creep out of our room and slip into the night. We were scared, but we wanted to bring him back, so we crept out after him. We followed him all the way through the silent house to the abandoned wing. None of us spoke. We watched him pull out a bag from beneath the floorboards and silently work a window open.
“Adrian, don’t go. She’ll find you and kill you,” Ton said quietly.
“Fuck you, guys. I’m outta here. You two will die here within 10 years, while I’ll be out there living a free and happy life. This isn’t the place for me, weak, pathetic bitches,” Adrian said as he vanished out of the window.
We ran over to the window to see him climbing down the building before running across the grounds into the night.
“We should get out of here. I don’t want her to-”
“Find you?”
We turned around and there she stood. I wasn’t really surprised, but I was frightened. I knew she could easily punish us for this. We immediately bowed and knelt at her feet, hiding our faces. We didn’t dare speak.
“Now, would you care to tell me why that window is open? And why two slaves such as yourselves are out of bed and wandering around at night?”
“It’s Adrian, Mistress. He escaped, Mistress. We tried to stop him, but he left. We knew it was wrong to leave you, Mistress,” I said, too scared to lie to her.
“He escaped? Well, well. His will is strong, but not strong enough. You two will go after him. I’ll provide you will whatever you’ll need. I’ll send two of my guards with you to bring him back. When he returns, he will be sorely punished. No one escapes and lives to tell the story. Get dressed, you two, in what’s waiting on your beds for you. Run back to your rooms and do not wake anyone. Get yourselves to the front entrance in ten minutes. One second late and there’ll be pain.”
And with that, she left. We didn’t dare move until we couldn’t hear her footsteps any more. We did as she asked. We ran back to our rooms and quickly pulled on the clothes that were indeed waiting for us: combat outfits. We only ever got them when we were sent out to retrieve our own; hence, it was only then that she provided them for us. They weren’t obviously militaristic, just black and green with good, sturdy boots, and a cache of equipment. It was enough to be practical, yet nothing that would stand out in daylight. We were provided with handguns in case things got violent. Shoot to kill was a very last resort. We made our way to the front entrance as quickly as we could only to find two guards waiting to escort us as we went after Adrian.
She had trained us in this, of course. She trained us all in how to track people, in case we had to go after one of our own. She desired that we should find escapees, rather than anyone outside the mansion. It was simply another aspect of our training. We knew what we had to do. We were taught how to fight, how to serve, how to track people, how to kill. We had become servant soldiers, equally skilled at keeping the mansion running and fighting if it came to that. Our devotion was drilled into us and we would have fought to the death to defend our Mistress and our home.
A few minutes after we’d arrived, she graced us with her presence to send us off.
“Find him. Bring him back to me. Alive. I do not want to see him unnecessarily harmed. I have plans for that wretch. Get going. Do not return without him. The guards have the required cash, should you need it. I want him back. Now.”
At her words, we left the mansion, heading round to the back where we’d seen him leave, going by the sheds to get motorbikes to speed things up. Any advantage would help. We could cover the ground he’d covered in at least half the time. We could see his footprints in the dewy grass. We followed the footprints off into the night, following them into the forest. He couldn’t have gotten far. He had a 20-minute head start, yet there was only the forest in the way. But, if he’d been paying attention to the maps during training, which I had no doubt he was if he’d been planing this escape, then he’d know how to get out of the forest fast. We knew the forest too, and what we’d find once we left the forest.
He was obviously more concerned about escaping fast rather than trying to throw us off his trail as he indeed took the fast route out of the forest exactly and in 15 minutes, we found ourselves at the highway. One way led to the desert, the other, into town. If he’d managed to hitch a ride, he could be well ahead of us by now. If not, then he was still going on foot.
“Where to now? Which way did he go, do you think?” Ton said.
“I’m inclined to think he went towards town. Oh wait, there’s some tracks. He obviously couldn’t decide either. How bout we split up and trace back either way just in case he decided to trick us. If he’s walking on the road, we’ll have no tracks. If he’s on foot, we’ll find him,” I said.
“Sounds good. You take the desert. We’ll head into town. Go back as far as the first town and ask about, then head back if you find nothing. We’ll meet back here at dawn. He can’t have gone far,” Ton said, revving his bike and speeding off down the highway with one of the guards.
We headed off in the other direction, travelling down the highway towards the desert. After an hour, we came to a town. We had been keeping an eye out for him on the roadside, and hadn’t spotted him. There was no vegetation either side of the road, nothing except small shrubby bushes and the odd tree. Streetlights were non-existent along this part of the highway. But, if he’d decided to head away from the road, we’d know, though in the darkness we found nothing to suggest he’d headed away from the highway.
The town we arrived at was small, nothing more than a gas station, a pub, a collection of houses, caravans and their ilk, and a few small shops. It took us less than 10 minutes to cover the whole town, finding no trace of Adrian. Everyone in the town has congregated at the pub, it seemed, and no one had seen him. With that, we headed back to towards town, meaning to head back to the spot where we were gonna meet.
We were about half way back when I noticed a dark lump slumped against a tree, facing away from the road. The clouds had cleared and the moonlight lit the ground up, which is probably why I didn’t see it before. I signalled the guard and we pulled up. It may not have been him, it may not even have been a person, but we had to check it out, just to make sure. The lights from our bikes lit up the tree as we approached. It was a few meters from the side of the highway, which might have explained how we didn’t see it in the first place. As I had rightly guessed, that dark lump was Adrian. He was dirty and crying, huddled up against the tree, his bare feet cut and bleeding. I got off my bike to approach him, kicking the stand and resting the helmet on the handlebars.
“Adrian, time to go home,” I said, kneeling beside him.
He looked up at me, tears streaking down his dirty face. “Home? With Mistress?” he said, his eyes full of confusion.
“Yeah, to Mistress. Where were you going, Adrian?” I said.
“I thought I knew where… where home – was. Where’s Mistress? Have to get back to her. I want my mother back,” he said, his confusion leaving as he realised where he wanted to be.
“Come with me, we’ll get you home,” I said, pulling him to his feet.
He clutched onto me as we walked over to the bike. I pulled him on behind me, cuffing his hands around my waist to make sure he didn’t escape again and so he didn’t fall off the bike. I could feel him leaning against me, and I smiled as I pulled my helmet on, knowing his will had finally broken and he’d never escape again. I revved the engine on the bike and, kicking the stand up, sped off back towards our meeting place, the guard following close behind me.
Ton and the other guard were waiting for us when we pulled up. They’d obviously found no trace of him and had headed back to wait for us. We didn’t need to speak as we pulled up and they saw Adrian slumped against me on the bike. We headed back to the mansion, knowing our job was done. We were gone no more than three hours.
Pulling up at the sheds to stow the bikes, Ton and I walked him to our Mistress, leaving the guards to make sure the bikes had been put away properly. We went in through the front entrance, finding her waiting for us. We gently lowered him to his knees at her feet, taking a few steps back to kneel before her, our heads bowed.
Adrian looked up at her and clutched onto her, happy to be home, no doubt. I looked up slightly to see her holding him back.
“Sorry, mother. I ran away again. But, I won’t run away again, not ever. I’m home now,” he said. I could hear how sorry he was.
“Don’t worry, love. You’re back now. Maybe I won’t punish you tonight. You still ran away, didn’t you?”
“Yes, Mistress, I did. I did bad again. I ran away.”
“Well, go with Tom and Tony and rest up. I’ll call for you in the morning once I’ve had some sleep, then I’ll deal with you, ok?”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“Well done, you two,” she said to us. “Go and get changed. I’ll have a meal sent to you and you can sleep today. I’ll call you for work in 24 hours. You’ve done some good work tonight. Go on, get outta here. I’ll deal with him in the morning. Just don’t forget about what you’ve done, Adrian,” she said, smiling at us before giving a knowing glare to Adrian.
We looked up at her, daring to smile back, knowing she was pleased with us for the moment. Twenty-four hours of rest was a very generous reward, considering how long we’d been gone. We didn’t dare say so, though. Twenty-four hours rest was twenty-four hours rest, and we’d happily take whatever reward she deigned give us. Bowing and touching our heads to the ground, we said our “thankyou Mistress” and hurried off to rest, glad of the time we had spare. We heard Adrian running behind us.
We got to our room and dared to be excited about our rewarded time off. I tackled Ton and wrestled him onto the bed, tickling him, relishing in his laughter and happiness. He tried to fight free of me, but I just held him down as I tickled his feet. I can’t remember another time when we’d been as happy as we’d been then. Well, Ton and me anyway. Adrian was quiet as anything.
As for the meals, they were surprisingly good, considering our position, and they were hot too. We wolfed them down, not leaving a scrap. She’d gifted us very generous portions too. Meals like that were few and far between for us, especially when she stopped loving me.
By the time our food arrived, we’d calmed down considerably, lying beside each other as we stared up at the ceiling, wondering what we’d do with the time we had. Sleep was inevitable, but we were far too elated to sleep then. We lay together on his bed once we’d finished eating. He was lying on top of me, staring into my eyes. I think we both silently agreed some relief was in store, considering we had a rare 24-hour break. All it took was a spontaneous kiss from Ton and our frenzied making out was triggered.
Adrian sulked in a corner, knowing he was still to be punished for running away again. He hardly ate his meal, crying as he was, pathetically picking at his food. I could see it in his eyes. He was hers now, and he knew it. He accepted his position. She’d finally broken his will. It had only taken 3 years, longer than any other servant. I hated to think what was in store for him when she called for him, though. I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant, but since he’d finally broken, she might be lenient.
At that time, we’d been close, Ton and I. Ton didn’t push me away when I tried to be with him, as we still worked together then. He wasn’t favoured, and I wasn’t neglected. It could only have been a few years into our service, and, back then, we were still just ordinary servants, like most in the mansion. We both felt the attraction between us, but only ever let it be physical. Any sort of emotional bond wouldn’t be tolerated, but we did dare to comfort each other, if only occasionally when we couldn’t bear the frustration any longer. It’s not like either of us were chosen to please our Mistress, so any pleasure we got we gave to each other, hoping no one found out.
The general consensus among the servants was that it was tolerated, but looked down upon as filthy and depraved, since we were mere servants and we didn’t deserve such sexual pleasures. She didn’t know, but I suppose she probably figured we’d mess around. I mean, if we got no attention from her, we’d turn to each other. Male/female pairings were much more tolerated than same sex pairings, though the latter were far more common since we often were bunked together with other servants of the same sex. It was always gonna happen, though it was something definitely not discussed.
Though I was, and have never been, favoured by her, Ton was, but, at the time, his extra duties only involved dancing for her. She had others to please her. She only wanted him to dance for her, feminising him and making him wear beautiful saris, jewellery and makeup. She used to call him her little Ashwinha, her little Indian dancing girl. God, I’m almost crying at the memories. She was giving him hormones to make him grow breasts to help with the feminisation. He ended up with these cute small breasts. They weren’t huge, but they were big and perky enough to be noticeable. He had gorgeous long black hair then, kept on her orders, and when he was all dressed up, he was amazingly beautiful.
He had such grace, and he moved so freely, as if he were made to dance. I only ever witnessed his dancing once, but I’ve never seen any of her dancers better him. That may have been the start of my infatuation with him, seeing him dancing so beautifully, the silks glistening and blurring together, the gold jewellery sparkling in the light, seeing him move so freely, so fluidly, so gracefully. I’ve never seen anyone dance like that again.
After a year or so, he constantly saw himself as female. He was her little girl. Though she did nothing to make him physically female, I think that was another way to keep him under control, that she wasn’t fully female and she desperately wanted to be. His cock became a sign of shame, and we never fooled around after that. He couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He danced for her for 5 years before she got bored with him and demoted him to a regular servant again. I found out when he was brought back to our room by a couple of guards. I saw that he was crying, that his makeup was running down his cheeks. The guards beat him up before leaving him sobbing on the floor, stripping him of the sari and everything else he was wearing, including the makeup, which was roughly wiped off with a cloth. One of them held him firmly while the other cut his beautiful hair off. I cried. It was too much, such brutal torture, to lose his hair like that. They shaved him bald before kicking him in the stomach and taking away all the fine clothes and jewellery, yelling insults at him as they left.
I ran over to him once we were alone and pulled him into my arms. “Ton, has she-?”
“She fucking hates me! No more dancing! Gods, how will I cope? How else can I please my Mistress? Look at me! I’m an ugly, pathetic excuse of a girl!” Ton said, looking into my eyes for comfort.
I just held him. What else could I do? I couldn’t find anything to say to him. He’d loved the dancing. To have it taken away from him was more than he could bear, especially now that he’d lost his hair too. He picked up the remnants of his hair in his shaking hands, tears rolling down his cheeks. He turned his head away, unable to look at it, the hair slipping through his fingers.
Without the hormone injections, he was worse to get along with than he used to be. He was moody, temperamental, and severely depressed. He grieved over his hair the most. Nothing I could do helped him. I just had to hope he’d eventually readjust. I had to remind him who he was, and that Ashwinha was gone. That and it was too hard to refer to him as if he was still a girl, now that he was without the clothes, that beautiful long hair and the makeup. But, really, Ashwinha was never really gone, lying dormant inside him, that beautiful, carefree, happy girl that danced like she was born to dance. I only glimpsed her every so often when his eyes shone with joy and Ashwinha came to the fore, desperately asking to be released.
I don’t think he ever really got over those 5 years living as a girl. I think Ashwinha became an alter ego of sorts, a separate female part of him. It was weird. He was never the same afterwards. The old Ton I loved never came back. He always thought that he wasn’t good enough to be male or female. Ashwinha's influence and presence made him feel less of a man, and his cock was a constant reminder that he wasn't a woman. He felt he couldn’t win. He was some freak of nature, of her creation, not good enough for either sex. He still referred to himself as male, as that’s what I and everyone else did. It was different when he was alone. I could tell. He was confused, always confused. He felt he didn’t belong anywhere, not male, not female. He didn’t take too well to being so confused.
But, I lost track of him when he became her favoured one. He moved out of our little room, as Adrian had done a year earlier when he had been promoted, leaving me all alone in that room. Wait, the first year he did still stay with me, but after that, he was kept away from me. He only came back to me 5 years later, still favoured but finally bringing me some company.
I… the memories are rather sketchy, and dates are hard to authenticate. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. There's much more to tell, but for the moment, I have to stop. The pain in my heart aches and burns. I have very few happy memories from those years under her rule. This is where it stops, least for the moment. Life outside the mansion has brought its own set of pain and bad memories, the most painful being Ton's death, but I can't bear to write about it now. My heart can't bear the pain any longer.
Goodbye for the moment,
Tom.