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Sashataakheru ([personal profile] wolfanfics) wrote2009-09-16 07:06 pm

Jeff Lynne/Bev Bevan: Don't Walk Away, Don't Say Goodbye

Title: Don’t Walk Away, Don’t Say Goodbye
Author: Sashataakheru
Fandom: Electric Light Orchestra RPS
Starring: Jeff Lynne, Bev Bevan
Pairings: Jeff/Bev, implied Jeff/George Harrison
Word Count: 828
Prompts: 001 Comfort Sex (kink table) (table); 024 My Fairytale (Lime Table) for [livejournal.com profile] citrus_taste // ‘pointless’ from [community profile] dailyprompt
Warnings: ANGST. And sex.
Rating: FRM
Disclaimer: Not true in any way, shape or form.
Author’s Notes: Set early 1988. Also, I feel I have done far too much research for what is essentially an angsty one-shot. Especially when I have a politics essay to write that I could be channelling my energy into instead. XD Also, watch me subvert both ‘comfort sex’ and ‘my fairytale’, because the sex isn’t comforting and the fairytale is just about dead. Muses, you fail. XD
Author’s Notes II: Also, yes, it really was inspired by all three prompts above. And the ELO album Balance of Power, to a certain extent, which was, well, angsty. Poor baby.
Summary: Bev goes to see Jeff about doing another ELO album and things, well, aren’t as they used to be.


Don't Walk Away, Don't Say Goodbye
I knew he was sick of it all, but I didn’t think he’d give it up for good. It was sad to watch, actually. His dream was dying, and he didn’t seem to want to hold onto it any longer. I almost pitied him. I’d gone to see him. The band had never really broken up, not really, we’d just… stopped, and Jeff had gone on to do other things. To be fair, he’d been doing other things before we split up, but somehow that was never the point.

“Two years, hey? It’s been a while. Come in, come in.”

He looked so tired when he came to let me in. We hugged warmly and he kissed me gently, but I think we both knew there was nothing there, even if we didn’t want to believe it. It had been too long since we’d seen each other last. It might well have been a lifetime.

Still, he kissed me again and led me off and I knew where we were going. I didn’t need it from him, but I wasn’t exactly going to say no, not when it felt so nice to be with him again. Just as if things hadn’t changed.

Jeff was never one for talking. You spend enough time with him and you get to know that about him. Know him long enough and you can see what he's not saying. It's in his eyes when he lets you see them, and in the way his shoulders seem burdened by some invisible weight. If you mention it, he just shrugs it off as if it's meaningless, and you both know he's lying.

He was quieter than normal though as we lay there together. His mind was elsewhere. I let him smoke. I was beyond protesting. He took my hand in his and gazed up at the ceiling. I wondered how long ago it was that we’d run out of things to say.

I glanced at him as he made a point of not looking at me. “You didn’t need to do this, you know.”

He took a drag and I watched the smoke billow above him. I don’t think he knew what to say, or if he did, he wasn’t saying it.

“You know, this doesn’t mean this has to be over.”

“Just – save it, Bev. We’ll talk later.”

All it made me want to do was talk his head off, just to spite him. Still, I kept my peace. There would be time to talk later. The silence made the room feel strange. We were together, like always, and yet… It felt like we were miles apart. Surely we couldn’t have fallen apart so quickly. Perhaps he had wanted to move on for longer than I’d thought.

Later on, he took me outside to his back garden. It gave a strange illusion of privacy. I think I already knew what he was going to say, but that didn't change my need to hear him say it. He stood apart from me, as if he was reluctant to face me.

“So, how are things?” It seemed a good place to start.

He shrugged and turned to face me. “Not too bad, mostly. Place feels too empty though.”

“I've heard you've been keeping busy.”

“Yeah, here and there.”

“George Harrison, hey?”

I watched his smile become more genuine. “Yeah, George Harrison. Dream come true, that.”

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised I'd lost him to a Beatle. I didn’t think anyone else had the power to take him away from me, though if I was being honest, I'd lost him years ago, if I'd ever had him at all.

“I suppose another ELO record's out of the question then.”

He shifted and turned away from me. I approached him. For someone I'd been so close to for so long, his distance was painful. He glanced at me, and I had my answer.

“I just can't do it anymore. Sorry, Bev.”

And that was that. End of discussion. He should've known I wasn't going to leave it there. I hadn't meant to snap at him, but it was difficult when he was being so evasive.

“What do I have to do to make you happy?”

“Nothing. That's not your job anymore.”

I knew what he was really saying. His words hurt, though I was never going to let him know that. If he wanted to be stubborn, that was his choice. He started to walk away from me. I couldn’t let the insult stand.

“How long was it before you started shagging him anyway?” I called after him.

He paused, as if to acknowledge my words before heading off into the garden where he disappeared behind the greenery. I followed him anyway until I saw George sitting under a tree. I didn’t need to know any more than that. I turned my back on them and left. There didn’t seem to be any point in continuing.

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