Sashataakheru (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wolfanfics) wrote2009-11-13 12:03 am
wolfanfics) wrote2009-11-13 12:03 am
NaNoWriMo Day 12
Current mood: fucking tired. Also, pissed off at my internet. Again. -_-
It's been a stupidly unproductive day. I did manage to make 23k today though, so I'm happy about that. Really all I managed to do was add a little more to the last scene I was working on yesterday. It badly needs some more work done on it though. Needs moar description, and I'm not totally happy with the dialogue flow. Still working on voicing some of the accents as well. Not trying to write all my accents out, it's more... sometimes it just doesn't work to write it out properly, and I tend to restrict it to dialogue. Which is why I'm not so happy with the dialogue in this part. It's not just the inconsistent accents (still working on them), also the flow is... not quite what I was after. There's something lacking in here, some action or something, and I think I need to take another look at it when I'm not dead tired and fix it. But that's a job for another day.
So, in lieu of not having anything else to post, here's what I managed to add to it. It's not even finished, but I'm too tired to do any more work on it so bug me tomorrow.
Gatecrashing isn't pretty either
The end of the canal led into what looked like a giant scrap heap. It loomed above them like some sort of twisted building, and its form as an actual deliberately built structure became more apparent as they approached. The canal fed into the structure, and a large sluice gate opened as they approached to let them in. After a short tunnel, they came to stop at a wharf, and the inside of the giant scrap heap was not what they expected at all.
As they disembarked, the inhabitants of the scrap heap came to see who had intruded and whether they were spies. They came creeping out from behind bits of metal and pipes, from behind strange piles of waste and makeshift houses. A few carried pistols. Some carried knives and swords. Otis glanced around, apparently unconcerned by their presence.
"Alright. You got us into this mess, Otis. You talk us out of it," Charlie said.
Otis scuffed his shoes against the floor, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets, as he thought about what to do next. "I'm thinking, okay?"
"Better think quick. They don't exactly look friendly," Nelson said.
There was no obvious way out. There was no guarantee the gate would open again to let them out, and it was entirely possible the inhabitants would just swarm the boat if they tried anyway.
"Well, it's not like we got any weapons. We can't hardly fight them off," Otis said.
A woman with a particularly nasty-looking sword approached. "Looking fer a fight, hey?"
"Not at all interested in fighting. We're just travellers. We play music, that's all," Otis said, arms up in surrender.
The gesture was apparently enough to set the men off, and it was only the appearance of another boat into the small harbour that turned everyone's attention from the four intruders. Otis was only half-surprised to see their old friends Clancey and Augustus runnning from the boat towards them.
"They nicked our boat," Augustus said, drawing his pistol. He pointed it at the four of them indiscriminantly, not at all pleased by what had happened.
"You were gonna nick our guitars," Otis countered.
"Bloody Royalists. Probably spies, hey? What are you doing in here?" Augustus said, closing in on them.
"Exploring. You got a problem with that? We're not Royalists either. Who might you be and where are we?"
"Yer in Dissenter country. If yer looking for yer King to save you, yer out of luck. We got every right to kill yer," Augustus said.
Otis decided to change tactics. Ignorance might work if nothing else did. "We've got a Queen, actually. Well, the time we come from, we've got a Queen."
"How is it you don't know who yer King is? You lot been living under a rock or something?" Augustus said.
"Shall I tell 'em, lads? Dunno if they'd believe us if I did though. Besides, I never said I didn't know who the King was," Otis said.
"Well, I hate to sound selfish at a time like this, but I wasn't planning on getting killed right about now," Charlie said. "Bloody English and their royalty. This is why we fought for independence."
Clancey crinkled his nose in disgust and joined Augustus. "You brought Americans with yer? Well, yer either a genius or a fool. No Royalist would ever be seen in the company of Americans. P'raps they ain't Royalists after all."
"Hey, Lucky, I do believe we've just been insulted," Charlie said.
Lucky lit up a cigarette and glanced over at Charlie. "You're suggesting I should care."
"Look 'ere, we're just travellers. We don't want any trouble. I did tell you we weren't Royalists," Otis said.
"If you didn't want no trouble, you shoulda left them Americans back where they came from," Clancey said.
Charlie wandered over to Clancey and peered down at him. He was a slender lad, with a mess of brown hair and grubby clothes. Looked like he needed a few hamburgers. Charlie wondered what would happen if he dared to hurt the boy. He probably wouldn't, but there was a small part of him that wanted to piss off the English, just to see what might happen.
"What might yer be looking at?" Clancey said, not appreciating the scrutiny.
"Oh, nothing. We are getting out of here, aren't we, Otis? I mean, I'd hate to be a nag and all," Charlie said, biting his tongue.
"I'm not really bothered where we end up. We've got work to do elsewhere, and if they're finally convinced we're not fighting against them, maybe they'll let us go," Otis said pointedly.
Jalyn had been watching the proceedings from the back, Ulysses by his side. Seeing Ulysses twice in a week was a bit much. Perhaps something big was about to happen after all. Jalyn eyed the strangers with fear, suspicion and excitement. They were not just ordinary travellers, Jalyn was sure of that. Had God finally delivered an advantage into their hands?
"If they leave Shard End, we shall never see them again, and all will be lost. Their musical knowledge will help with our plan. Go, convince them to stay," Ulysses said.
Jalyn approached, slowly making his way through the crowd. Augustus and Clancey stepped back to let him through. Jalyn watched them and circled around them, observing them and their strange clothes and belongings.
"What's in them cases? How did you get here? They might all think yer some sort of spies, but I know different. Yer not from around here, yer from somewhere else. Maybe from the future. Why did you come here?" Jalyn said.
"Nice to see you've got one smart boy amongst the lot of yese," Otis said. "We come from the future, yeah. And that's how we carry our guitars."
"I think you might be rather valuable to us. I hope you'll forgive the earlier hostilities," Jalyn said, his mind made up.
"Well, I'm hoping this is the right place, cos if it ain't, we're both screwed. What are yer calling this ... place that we're in," Otis said.
"Shard End. And it's our eastern fortress.
IDEK. I had a slightly different idea for them getting in there, but I think this is better. Possibly. Anyway. Once I'm done with that, I can move on to Charles/Andrew, so we might get a little more progress. Hopefully I don't feel as uninspired tomorrow either.
And so to bed. At last. :D
It's been a stupidly unproductive day. I did manage to make 23k today though, so I'm happy about that. Really all I managed to do was add a little more to the last scene I was working on yesterday. It badly needs some more work done on it though. Needs moar description, and I'm not totally happy with the dialogue flow. Still working on voicing some of the accents as well. Not trying to write all my accents out, it's more... sometimes it just doesn't work to write it out properly, and I tend to restrict it to dialogue. Which is why I'm not so happy with the dialogue in this part. It's not just the inconsistent accents (still working on them), also the flow is... not quite what I was after. There's something lacking in here, some action or something, and I think I need to take another look at it when I'm not dead tired and fix it. But that's a job for another day.
So, in lieu of not having anything else to post, here's what I managed to add to it. It's not even finished, but I'm too tired to do any more work on it so bug me tomorrow.
Gatecrashing isn't pretty either
The end of the canal led into what looked like a giant scrap heap. It loomed above them like some sort of twisted building, and its form as an actual deliberately built structure became more apparent as they approached. The canal fed into the structure, and a large sluice gate opened as they approached to let them in. After a short tunnel, they came to stop at a wharf, and the inside of the giant scrap heap was not what they expected at all.
As they disembarked, the inhabitants of the scrap heap came to see who had intruded and whether they were spies. They came creeping out from behind bits of metal and pipes, from behind strange piles of waste and makeshift houses. A few carried pistols. Some carried knives and swords. Otis glanced around, apparently unconcerned by their presence.
"Alright. You got us into this mess, Otis. You talk us out of it," Charlie said.
Otis scuffed his shoes against the floor, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets, as he thought about what to do next. "I'm thinking, okay?"
"Better think quick. They don't exactly look friendly," Nelson said.
There was no obvious way out. There was no guarantee the gate would open again to let them out, and it was entirely possible the inhabitants would just swarm the boat if they tried anyway.
"Well, it's not like we got any weapons. We can't hardly fight them off," Otis said.
A woman with a particularly nasty-looking sword approached. "Looking fer a fight, hey?"
"Not at all interested in fighting. We're just travellers. We play music, that's all," Otis said, arms up in surrender.
The gesture was apparently enough to set the men off, and it was only the appearance of another boat into the small harbour that turned everyone's attention from the four intruders. Otis was only half-surprised to see their old friends Clancey and Augustus runnning from the boat towards them.
"They nicked our boat," Augustus said, drawing his pistol. He pointed it at the four of them indiscriminantly, not at all pleased by what had happened.
"You were gonna nick our guitars," Otis countered.
"Bloody Royalists. Probably spies, hey? What are you doing in here?" Augustus said, closing in on them.
"Exploring. You got a problem with that? We're not Royalists either. Who might you be and where are we?"
"Yer in Dissenter country. If yer looking for yer King to save you, yer out of luck. We got every right to kill yer," Augustus said.
Otis decided to change tactics. Ignorance might work if nothing else did. "We've got a Queen, actually. Well, the time we come from, we've got a Queen."
"How is it you don't know who yer King is? You lot been living under a rock or something?" Augustus said.
"Shall I tell 'em, lads? Dunno if they'd believe us if I did though. Besides, I never said I didn't know who the King was," Otis said.
"Well, I hate to sound selfish at a time like this, but I wasn't planning on getting killed right about now," Charlie said. "Bloody English and their royalty. This is why we fought for independence."
Clancey crinkled his nose in disgust and joined Augustus. "You brought Americans with yer? Well, yer either a genius or a fool. No Royalist would ever be seen in the company of Americans. P'raps they ain't Royalists after all."
"Hey, Lucky, I do believe we've just been insulted," Charlie said.
Lucky lit up a cigarette and glanced over at Charlie. "You're suggesting I should care."
"Look 'ere, we're just travellers. We don't want any trouble. I did tell you we weren't Royalists," Otis said.
"If you didn't want no trouble, you shoulda left them Americans back where they came from," Clancey said.
Charlie wandered over to Clancey and peered down at him. He was a slender lad, with a mess of brown hair and grubby clothes. Looked like he needed a few hamburgers. Charlie wondered what would happen if he dared to hurt the boy. He probably wouldn't, but there was a small part of him that wanted to piss off the English, just to see what might happen.
"What might yer be looking at?" Clancey said, not appreciating the scrutiny.
"Oh, nothing. We are getting out of here, aren't we, Otis? I mean, I'd hate to be a nag and all," Charlie said, biting his tongue.
"I'm not really bothered where we end up. We've got work to do elsewhere, and if they're finally convinced we're not fighting against them, maybe they'll let us go," Otis said pointedly.
Jalyn had been watching the proceedings from the back, Ulysses by his side. Seeing Ulysses twice in a week was a bit much. Perhaps something big was about to happen after all. Jalyn eyed the strangers with fear, suspicion and excitement. They were not just ordinary travellers, Jalyn was sure of that. Had God finally delivered an advantage into their hands?
"If they leave Shard End, we shall never see them again, and all will be lost. Their musical knowledge will help with our plan. Go, convince them to stay," Ulysses said.
Jalyn approached, slowly making his way through the crowd. Augustus and Clancey stepped back to let him through. Jalyn watched them and circled around them, observing them and their strange clothes and belongings.
"What's in them cases? How did you get here? They might all think yer some sort of spies, but I know different. Yer not from around here, yer from somewhere else. Maybe from the future. Why did you come here?" Jalyn said.
"Nice to see you've got one smart boy amongst the lot of yese," Otis said. "We come from the future, yeah. And that's how we carry our guitars."
"I think you might be rather valuable to us. I hope you'll forgive the earlier hostilities," Jalyn said, his mind made up.
"Well, I'm hoping this is the right place, cos if it ain't, we're both screwed. What are yer calling this ... place that we're in," Otis said.
"Shard End. And it's our eastern fortress.
IDEK. I had a slightly different idea for them getting in there, but I think this is better. Possibly. Anyway. Once I'm done with that, I can move on to Charles/Andrew, so we might get a little more progress. Hopefully I don't feel as uninspired tomorrow either.
And so to bed. At last. :D